Purpose

I will never forget the first time I went to see my rabbi. I was very unhappy- questioning my life, my self-esteem, the very validity of my "being". For a whole host of reasons, I had it in my head that I was a "mistake" and that all the downfalls I had experienced in my life were proof of that.

At that time, my rabbi wasn't really my rabbi. I didn't call him that, at least. I was simply following the best advice anyone had ever given me. My friend Lily, who saw that I was suffering, suggested I just go talk to the rabbi.

He made an excellent case Of course I was reluctant, and I became more reluctant as the time of the appointment approached. Thankfully he didn't put me on some kind of waiting list or I might have never shown up. Proof one that this guy usually gets it right.

When I finally made it to his office I vowed to keep my composure, be articulate and present a good argument regarding my beliefs. Frankly, I wasn't sure how he could help but it was help that I needed.

After uttering a sentence or three, I simply let go of my head and let my heart do the talking which invariably left me open to all the tears that I had been holding back. Shockingly, I wasn't embarrassed.

He made an excellent case for my existence and the rough times I had gone through. He pointed out that against all odds, I was here and G‑d wanted me here for a reason- or many reasons. "Look at Moses", he said. "He was put in a basket in a river so that he could be saved and that baby grew up to lead our people out of Egypt and get the Torah."

Oddly enough, my birthday is the 6th of Sivan, when Moses received the Torah. It is also the date of the passing of King David and of Rabbi Israel Baal Shem Tov. These other men didn't have it too easy, either.

I had walked into my rabbi's office feeling like a failure, a cosmic joke, and left feeling like I had purpose. Purpose. Without that, one can not survive. I truly believe that.

G‑d wanted me here for a reason Since then, every birthday I have reminds me how important I am to G‑d.

I am also reminded about the faith and the questioning that Jews experienced when Moses went up the mountain. Some of us held on and others expected way too much. They did not make it.

So what are we to expect of ourselves? Our net worth does not define our human worth- that's just an idea that was sold to us via parts of secular society- even some of our friends and neighbors.

No. G‑d created us in His image and we are a part of His flame. He doesn't expect us to be perfect, but he does expect us to follow the commandments, and not just the ten of them written in stone. All the mitzvot, 613 of them, are goals that beg our attention as we attempt to do them to the best of our ability.

We were given a conscience. We are also given so many levels of emotions and thoughts, and we are expected to sift through them. This task is a life-long procedure. I don't believe we are meant to travel that journey or attain that wisdom alone.

Our love of our Creator, and the people He puts in our path, show us the way.

Moses, King David, the Baal Shem Tov, and so many others graced this Earth with definite purpose.

We must remind ourselves, through good and bad times, that we, like them, Jews everywhere, have definite purpose as well.

I left my rabbi's office (I now call on him at regular intervals) feeling like a "somebody". Better than that- I left feeling like a somebody with a future, and knowing that if it wasn't for my past, no matter how recent or how far, I would not be the person I am nor have the abilities and understanding that I have gained throughout the years.

On the 6^th of Sivan, Moses received the Torah, King David was called back to Heaven and thousands of years later so was the Baal Shem Tov, and I was born. For a reason. For a purpose. And this is something I can always remind myself of when life seems to be more difficult than I can handle.

And I know that my Creator, like my rabbi and like you, out there, with all your purpose and divine goodness, have been here all along to either directly help those in need or help clear the path for someone who may be feeling lost along the way.