To Heaven His Soul Ascended

To heaven his soul ascended
His mission now ended
The Angels stood
This Tzadik had spent his life, as he should

He makes his way towards the Heavenly throne
When a voice rings out ‘come my child, have no fear you are not alone’
He steps forward to be judged by his Maker
He trembles in awe in front of the Creator

‘My son a place by my side is truly deserved’
‘Your journey on earth was one where all my commandments were observed’
But your task is not yet complete
There is one more challenge you need to meet

You are to go back to the earth below
Do not be afraid I am with you, that you know
I have chosen them just for you
They have a special place in my kingdom to.

The cry of a mother rings out sharp and clear
Why is it his cries I do not hear?
The doctors stand and speak in hushed tones
As she wails and cries and moans

The baby is perfect every limb is complete
His hands, face, his tiny feet
All surround him willing him to cry
But the doctor shakes his head with a sigh

‘Please help him, do something anything we are pleading’
The young parents begged their hearts bleeding
He will fight and he will survive
Our child is here and we want him alive!

The young man calls his Rabbi, a tear in his eye
Rebbe, I'm so scared I can’t tell a lie
A beautiful son to us has been born
But already from our hands he has been torn

They have put him on a life support machine
All we can do is watch through a screen
The doctors- they are saying there is no hope
Please, Rabbi, what should I do with this pain? I can’t cope

The rabbi tries to encourage the young man
He promises in shul to daven to see if they can
Beg Hashem to save this new born’s life
Not to cut the hearts of his children like a knife

For days they sit by his crib and entreat
But G-d above knew that this was the soul of the man He did already meet
One early morning when the sky was pure blue
The child took one last breath and from his little body
his untouched soul flew

It soared up to heaven with wings so strong
With the hope that this time nothing would be wrong
He approached the Heavenly throne with a smile
Where G-d sat, His arms outstretched- it had all been worthwhile

Meanwhile below in that hospital room
The lady sat in silence her heart filled with gloom
Her husband tried to comfort and ease her grief
In his Master, in G-d, he had strong belief

She turned away as he tried to console
Her heart filled with anger, it felt like she was in a black hole
Refusing to believe she would never hold him
He was so perfect every single limb

I have longed for a child for so long
What have I done that was so wrong?
This punishement is so undeserved
From the way of G-d I have never swerved

In a seat right next to the Heavenly throne
Her beautiful son lets out a groan
He turns to G-d with a tear in his eye
And asks the Almighty to answer his cry

Hashem please give her the strength she deserves
For 9 months she carried me, and it’s You she serves
I had to be born again, this time to a Jewish mother
And she was worthy to carry me, her and no other

A lone tear falls from Heaven to the earth
And touches the heart of the lady who gave birth
My child, you have carried a pure soul
You were chosen to help him reach his goal

The months coming will not be pain free
You may not want anyone to see
Your anguish will not be understood
But I will be standing right there with you as only I could

You may be angry with me your G-d above
Not realising that it is you that has all My love
You will question, and My way you may leave
But you will one day return and to Me cleave

As the months went on people tried to placate
This just seemed all the more to irate
An empty hole in her heart there remained
Constantly her face looked pained

People crossing the road so they would not need to greet her
Not knowing what to say to her, so they prayed not to meet her
Her day became night, her night turned to day
A shell she wrapped around her as she hid away

Time went on, until one sunny day
When she decided that the time had come to pray
Her past was behind her, it was time to close the book
A new chapter to begin, behind her not to look

As she bowed in prayer her thoughts felt so clear
She thought of her child whom she held so dear
Suddenly she knew, she understood why
And for the first time she let herself cry

She knew that his task he did not complete
There was one more challenge he needed to meet
He had to return to the earth below
G-d was with him- that she did now know

She was chosen to see it through
She had a special place next to Hashem, too
Hand picked for this incredible mission
She was honoured to be in this position.

And as she thought she was sure she felt
The ice on her heart begin to melt
And up in the sky that special soul smiled
And thanked his mother for carrying him as a child

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I lost my three-day-old baby boy a few years ago, and it was a blessing and a relief when the day came (after many months-years) that I knew for certain there was a reason. My journey after he passed away was a hugely painful one, which involved a divorce and a stay in the psychiatric ward after a nervous breakdown, but now I can look back and with all my heart say "Thank you, Hashem" for letting me carry my precious angel. There are no rights or wrongs regarding grieving. I do not think you ever fully get over the loss of a child, no matter how young, but that pain goes in to a little box at the back of your brain, which you learn to lock. Every once in a while the box will open and some of the pain escapes, but as long as we learn to close the box again we know we are doing ok.