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Change


Change.

There comes a time when change has to take place.

I don't know anyone who can carry on doing something, without being valued, or respected, or appreciated in any way. I don't know anyone who can continually give and never get anything in return.

I don't know anyone who doesn't have a soul that has to be nourished or a heart that has to be loved.

I don't know anyone that can put up with continual bad behavior.

I don't know anyone that doesn't make mistakes.

I don't know anyone who isn't injured in some way.

I don't know anyone who can carry hurt or injury around with them for a long time without exploding.

I don't know anyone who can go without a hug, virtual or visual, when they are hurting.

I don't know anyone who is angry and doesn't get ill.

I do know that for the severely emotionally injured the world is just not a safe place. There is always another injury lurking just around the corner.

I do know that a lot of these people go inside of their minds and disassociate from everything and everyone around them. That way the world, for them, becomes a little bit safer.

And we call them insane and mentally ill, and crazy, and unpredictable, and scary.

And we medicate them, and we lock them away so they wont hurt themselves or others.

And they can make sense of this - just another injury.

And I wonder what would happen if we dared to give them what they need.

If we dared to love them in the midst of their hurt.

If we dared to go near their heart and their soul.

If we dared to let them into our souls.

If we accepted them for who and what they are- for the victim of the injury that they did not ask for.

If instead of being afraid of them, we were kind to them.

If instead of punishing them for their defensive acts, we hugged them.

If instead of reminding them of their bad ways and threatening them, we rewarded them for all the good that they do.

Don't you think then, and only then, they might possibly have a chance to Change?

Then maybe their hurts could heal.

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By Hinda Schryber   More articles...  |   RSS Listing of Newest Articles by this Author
Hinda Schryber is the director of Orlenefesh, a psychiatric rehabilitation organization in Israel. She and her husband are the proud parents of three children, and live in Givat Ze'ev, Jerusalem.

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Reader Comments
Latest Comments:
Posted: Feb 23, 2011
Memories
When I read this, I felt as though it had been written for me ten years ago. Thank you for your thoughtfulness.
Posted By Anonymous, Saugus, MA

Posted: Sep 16, 2010
so glad i read this poem
i'm finally seeking counseling tomorrow after far too many years. i'm 42 now, and was diagnosed as bipolar years ago. reading this poem was like expressing what i've been wanting to shout to the world for so many years about how i feel. i never thought of myself as crazy. i have just always felt unloved, needed reassurement, etc. if people only knew my story and others they might understand and not my so quick to judge. I printed this poem to bring to my counselor. thank you so much Mrs. schryber. I wish u could be my counselor.
Posted By Anonymous, chanldler, tx

Posted: Aug 15, 2009
caregivers
Unfortunately too many caregivers, perhaps those presenting programs of caring, are so money focused that they lose sight of the purpose of being there...to help the battered, the disabled, and the troubled. Once should be extremely careful in dealing with individuals who emphasis how MUCH they will be PAID to the detriment of the individual.
Posted By Anonymous, Waco, Tx/USA

Posted: Nov 23, 2008
druga and hugs
I believe that drugs and hugs come hand in hand, not one wihtout the other. All of the clients i have are medicated , some over medicated, as sadly thier symptoms are horrific. And its precisely, the effects of over - medication that cause them to look or behave sometimes as they do. medication is a very fine- tuning thing, you gotta get it just right and youre lucky if you do.
Posted By hinda schryber, jerusalem, israel

Posted: Nov 21, 2008
Touching, but...
...sometimes all the hugs in the world cannot change a broken mind. I believe G-d gave humans the ability to invent and heal, and that ignoring the broken, believing a hug will cure all, invalidates the hand Hashem has dealt all humans, including that ability to heal. Hugs are part of the cure, of the healing, but not necessarily all of it. Sometimes you need the drugs to begin the process.
Posted By Anonymous

Posted: Nov 19, 2008
wondering
Wow, this is strong. And do you honestly think that a human dose of love can heal? Doesn't it seem like an extremely dose is needed? something in the category of Mesirus Nefesh (giving completely over of yourself), maybe, to convince the hurt person that you are not just "nice" but real? And, then, who can rise to such a challenge?
Posted By Gitty

Posted: Nov 19, 2008
Change
One of the most poignant and heartfelt essays I've read in a long, long time. An arrow straight to the heart of truth. Thank you, Dr. Schryber.

From the mom of a young man the world considers "bipolar". I think he is simply honest and never learned to play games or wear masks. Of course, the world does not approve.
Posted By Anonymous
via valleychabad.org

Posted: Nov 18, 2008
Beautiful
That is the most amazingly truthful thing I have ever read and it touched my heart. I completely agree with you because I know someone that this applies to, someone close to my heart and with love they are changing. Thank you
Posted By Anonymous, Denver, CO

Posted: Nov 18, 2008
poetic and powerful
well, this wasn't exactly the light, lunchtime reading I was looking for (did you ever cry into your bowl of soup?) but it's obvious that you not only have a lot of experience helping "hurt" people, but that you also have a big heart and an innovative mind...and yes, a way with words, as well. May Hashem always help you in your helping others, and that this "change" that you speak of be understood--by everyone. It's about time.
Posted By Anonymous, Miami, Florida

Posted: Nov 17, 2008
thank you
This is exactly what I needed to see today to remind me to open my heart. Thank you!
Posted By Anonymous, Staten Island, NY



 


Poems about Life Struggles
All My Life
Imagine and Never Forget
Miracle in Mumbai
In the City of Mumbai
My Youth Slipped Through My Fingers
To Heaven His Soul Ascended
Don't Leave Us Stranded
Change
My Eli Left Me
Pearls of Pain
Dust
Dear Sister
Grief
Fly Away on the Wings of an Angel
Peace
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