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Chabad.org » The Jewish Woman » Women's Health & Concerns » Genetics & Disease » Letter to My Organ Donor's Family
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Letter to My Organ Donor's Family


Masha, before the transplant
Masha, before the transplant

Dear Family,

I am sure this letter may be difficult to read. It is difficult to write. It is both painful and joyous. The reason I am writing is to thank you.

"Thank you" is an expression which is used quite often and sometimes just in passing. This is a different kind of "Thank you." It is a "Thank you" that defies English, French or any language.

How do you say thank you that means that because of you and your daughter, I am alive to speak any words at all? I am alive at fifty-one years to continue living.

My promise to you is that I will never waste one moment of my lifeThe importance and immense meaning of the gift you and your daughter have given me, truly cannot be expressed in words.

I can try, though. I must try, because I think you should know that this life that was saved is a life of promise. My promise to you is that I will never waste one moment of it.

I have two grown children of my own. I am a mother, a musician, an artist and a spiritual person.

If you can imagine it, before the gift your daughter gave me, it was becoming very challenging to do anything in my life. Brushing my teeth required effort. Eating became difficult. Even with oxygen, I still had to be in a wheelchair if I wanted to go out.

How do I share with you that you gave me life back? That you gave me a better life? My children and my husband thank you. My friends thank you.

And I think you should know that not one day goes by that I do not think of the generous spirit of yours, and of the woman who enabled me to breathe again.

There is a television commercial that says, "When you can't breathe, nothing else matters." That is, indeed, true.

To add to that, as a singer and a songwriter, I thought my music was gone forever. As a mother, it became more difficult to see the pain in my children's faces.

I want you to know something else.

When I got the call they had found a donor for me, and that this person was a young woman, I thought of my own twenty-two year old daughter, who rode with me in the ambulance to the hospital for the surgery.

I cried during that whole ride to the hospital. Not because I was scared or happy. I cried because I knew that on that day, somewhere, a family lost a precious, beloved person in their life.

My heart was with you and is still with you.

She is with me, literally, with every breath I takeOn a more positive note, please know that this woman, who gave me the gift of life, is my hero. I literally owe my life to her and to you, who had the bravery and strength to allow this procedure to take place in the midst of your grief.

Masha, after the transplant
Please believe me when I tell you that, to me, your daughter is an angel. She is on my shoulders; she is like a butterfly in my garden. She is the music inspired by Beethoven; she is a painting from the heart of Da Vinci. She is the Book written by the hand of G‑d; she is a rainbow and a sunset. She is the most beautiful person I have never known, and I carry her within me. Every day.

Yes, please know that her spirit lives. I hold her in my heart. And she is with me, literally, with every breath I take.

May G‑d Bless You for giving me my life back. For giving me a new life with no more pain. A life where I don't have to fight for every breath I take.

I love you without knowing you and I am here as living proof that life goes on.

I promise to take good care of her. I promise to honor her with everything I do, especially for others who have suffered like me.

If you have any special requests at all, just let me know.

With all my heart, I wish you peace. I wish you love. And above all, faith in knowing that this beautiful woman has allowed me to live again.

Your daughter, in life and in spirit, is a miracle. I am her miracle.

Thank you.

With all the love from the deepest part of my heart,
M.P.

Dedicated to the anonymous donor who in her death, gave Masha life on October 30, 2007.

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By Melody Masha Pierson   More articles...  |   RSS Listing of Newest Articles by this Author
Melody Masha Pierson is a 51-year-old Jewish woman in Montreal, and member of the Chabad Montreal Torah Centre. She is the happy and grateful recipient of a new pair of lungs following a double lung transplant. It was her writing and Torah learning that provided her with the strength and faith to stay positive and productive through her challenging time. Melody can be heard weekly on Montreal's Radio Shalom.

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Reader Comments
Latest Comments:
Posted: Feb 1, 2012
missing my boy
Georgia,
You write a lovely tribute which brought me to tears. I received 2 hearts 12 years ago this coming week. About a year ago, I started a support group for people interested in organ donation or recipients, etc. It has grown to nearly 900 members now. I also began a group for people who are searching for their donor families or donor families searching for their recipients.

Bless you. I am so sorry for your loss & so grateful for what you have done.
Posted By Judith Hill, Naples, Florida USA

Posted: Jan 26, 2012
missing my boy
My son Louis received a small bowel transplant at age two. This transplant gave me 2yrs and 4 mos with him that I surely wouldn't have had if he hadn't received one. I wrote a letter to his donor family on hopes that they would find just a little comfort that their precious 11 yr old had saved my two yr olds life and that I would spend the rest of my life keeping their child's memory alive. When my baby boy passed away it was a easy question to answer when they asked if we were going to donate organs. It has been almost 7 yrs and i spent everyday hoping that I would receive a letter letting me know that my Louie helped to save someone else's loved one. I have accepted the fact that I won't receive this wish. I think it is important though that organ donor familes receive a letter just to let them know where their loved ones organs went. That's my personal opinion. For me I know it would be comforting. In loving memory of my Louis 2-17-01--6-12-05. And in loving memory of his donor.
Posted By Georgia, rochester, pa

Posted: Nov 10, 2011
Thank you letters
Sandra, I understand how hurt you and your family must be only because when I met my donor family they expressed their terrible hurt and pain from not hearing from the other recipients of all their son's and only child's organs; I was the recipient of both his lungs.. I tried to explain to them that back then the recipient may have not survived, some hospitals didn't allow letters, and other hospitals were not uniform with one department allowing and others not. Consequently that has become my soapbox issue and I gently but firmly tell people that they must write a thank you letter, no excuses. My donor family told me that at least hearing from me and getting to know me confirmed that they did the right thing. I do know a couple of folks who wrote letters several years later so you may yet hear from someone. You might inquire with the Organ Procurement Organization in FL and see if they have heard anything.
Posted By Damian, Glenview, IL

Posted: Nov 9, 2011
Sandra,
I feel your loss & am so sorry for you & your family. Please don't assume that the people who received your sister's precious organs aren't appreciative. They may not have survived, or could be ill, or could have been advised to wait to write. or may not know yet how to handle YOUR grief, or other reasons. Sometimes letters get lost, the doctors don't want the patients to meet. There are hundreds of reasons why you haven't heard anything. I wrote to my donor families & I was told they received my letters & chose not to respond. I was so ill I don't even recall what I wrote, but felt their grief. Try writing again. Also, you could join our transplant group on Facebook, Organ Transplants Across the Globe & communicate with all of us & maybe find your missing recipients. Friend me on facebook & I will help you. Judee Hill. I've had 2 heart transplants & forever grateful & would love to know my donor families.
Posted By Judith (Judee) Hill, Naples, Florida

Posted: Nov 9, 2011
Thank you from Donor Family for Sandra
Dearest Sandra,

Writing this letter to my organ donor family was extremely difficult. I wanted to acknowledge everything they did for me; much as you would like to receive a simply thank you for doing so very much in a time of grieving with such selflessness and compassion.

The fact that the recipient has not written does not mean they do not think of your daughter; as so many whose lives she helped and continues to help. Trust me, they think of her and your family everyday.

The recipient family (ies) may just not have found the words yet or maybe they may be afraid if you wrote back or wanted to meet them.

Donating and receiving organs are really almost one and the same. You let go of one so another can live and the one who lives on earth is constantly aware of their donors in heaven.

Give them time.

Best,
Melody.
Posted By Melody Masha Pierson

Posted: Nov 9, 2011
I just seen my older sister's post about our baby sister, who was brain dead in tri cities we waited i believe 2 days for the team to get there from seatle to gather her organs.we know they were used and know we wrote letters and never got a responce.she was 39 with 2 children a son and a daughter who also agreed to let this transplant happen,we all agreed.I also might change my mind about being a donor we are all still greiving her death almost a year ago and still not even a simple thank you.and she donated her eyes,skin kidneys,lungs,bone.and not 1 person said thank you.this is a gift of life and knowing we helped many people we thought would make it easier but with out them 2 little words it does not
Posted By sandra hisler, port richey, fl

Posted: Oct 27, 2011
Thank you
Thank you for sharing this beautiful letter about a wonderful woman!! I am a daughter who has a young father of 59 yrs of age and he is waiting for a lung transplant. I hope my father is as lucky as you are, please send me and my family prayersxx sincerely Jennifer Dwyer
Posted By Jennifer Dwyer, Arundel, Quebec

Posted: July 6, 2011
Judith Hil- Organ donor
Hi Judith,
I think there is a mix-up. I received a double-lung transplant about 4 years ago. A year later I wrote to the Montreal Transplant Association and included a letter to my donor's family.
This is how it is done here. The Transplant Association told me they had received it. They have chosen not to respond. Their daughter saved my live. I am now 54 with also two grown children. I will check your link. Thank you and may Hashem give you many blessings.
Posted By Melody Masha Pierson, Montreal, Canada

Posted: July 3, 2011
organ doner
Please don't give up. There could be many reasons you have not heard from them. I have good days & bad & live alone. Sometimes it's hard to keep up with just everyday life. But it's possible the recipients never received the communication. I wrote to both my donors as soon as I was able. I had to learn to walk & talk, just like a baby & at about the same rate. There are thousands of us out here extremely grateful. Also, at worst, they may not have survived.

Please check out Organ Transplants Across the Globe on Facebook. You heart will be warmed.

Hugs to you. You gave the best gift possible. You offered another chance at life.
Posted By Judith Hill, Naples, Florida/USA

Posted: July 3, 2011
organ transplants
I am a double heart transplant patient of 11.3 years. This past February, I organized a Facebook group called "Organ Transplants Across the Globe." We seek to support each other & those waiting for transplant, donor familes, live donors, and other sincerely interested caregivers. Many of us have met our donor families & most have not.

I am still seekin mine. I continue to do my best to help others along the way. We all wish to "Pay it forward."

Please feel free to check out the group on Facebook. It is an OPEN group. We have members on 3 continents already & in just 4 months, over 100 members, & growing rapidly.

Bless all of you who have been touched by a transplant experience.
Posted By Judith Hill, Naples, Florida/USA



 


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