The Back-Up Generator

The power is off again. There is no discernable reason for this. It is a beautiful summer day and the sun is shining through a flawless blue sky, throwing spotlights through the impenetrable depths of the forest. And as I look at the ripening hay in the fields, I see a gently rippling vista of gold suggesting there is no wind to down a power line. Yet, despite all of the appearance of tranquility, the generator hums, noisily contrasting with the songbirds and the pollinating bees.

My morning was stressful as I moved about the kitchen in semi-darkness, unable to boil my kettle or use the toaster. The knot in my stomach began along with the generator, anxiety forming ugly cracks in my awareness. A feeling of being cut off from a livable source of power invaded my thoughts. Instead of going about my day automatically flicking on switches that would give energy to my actions, I was left to find alternative tasks to occupy my attention, those requiring my own physical and mental capabilities. I floundered in a feeling of desperation at this possibility, for such is my reliance on electricity that is the source of all of my household power. Whilst knowing that as loud as my generator is, it only provides enough energy for pumping water from the well into the house.

Automatically reaching for the bathroom light switch and fumbling blindly for the door, I realized that G‑d is like electricity. For such is my automatic dependence upon His divine source of power. Each day, I take it for granted that I will wake up and my needs will be taken care of without my having to do anything. I do not have to switch on my lungs to be able to breathe or tell my heart to beat, and I certainly do not have to discuss movement with any part of my physical body. All of this automatically happens, just like my kettle boiling and my toast popping up.

When life flows rhythmically and there are no hardships or tragedies to face, I could be tempted to believe that this is due to my own physical and mental actions - so quiet is the energy within me. Yet, I know that G‑d is not only there when times are desperate or when it feels like my heart is broken. His inexhaustible energy is there with me always, guiding me, caressing me like a newborn infant as I take on all that life has to offer, despite my own physical and mental limitations. In this way, I am pushed to try harder and given the confidence that I can succeed, in spite of all odds. But more importantly, unlike my household electrical power, "G‑d power" does not go off and there is no need for a back-up generator. For G‑d is within my every breath and every thought, and all around me, nature trembles with the vitality of His force.