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Do You Lose Your Temper?


By Chana Weisberg
Topics:   Self Control; Self Conquest,  Anger
Do you have a temper? The story of the little girl who lost her temper—and something to think about every time you are about to react in anger or sarcasm.

The story of the little girl who lost her temper—and something to think about every time you are about to react in anger or sarcasm.

By Chana Weisberg   More articles...  |   RSS Listing of Newest Articles by this Author
Chana Weisberg is a writer, editor and lecturer. She authored several books, including her latest, Tending the Garden: The Unique Gifts of the Jewish Woman. She has served as the dean of several women’s educational institutes, and lectures internationally on issues relating to women, faith, relationships and the Jewish soul.

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Latest Comments:
Posted: May 20, 2012
losing temper
Anger is due to our impatience to unexpected results. Even before we set out with our expectation, we can begin with a prayer. The prayer will help us to remain patient and guard us from anger. I now prayerfully hope that I will adhere to this realisation in my life.
Posted By Saify, Chennai, India

Posted: May 18, 2012
losing ones temper
Chana , you are a beautiful and wise women.

Thanks so much. I have had a horrible temper my entire life and have strived to overcome it all this time = With much prayer and even fasting I have finally begun to master my emotions. The holes in the hearts of those I love bring me much sadness and also much insentive to continue to overcome. Blessings upon you and yours. Shalom
Posted By Danielle, Deux Montagnes, Canada

Posted: May 3, 2012
Effective Advice
Hi,

The story is very good and beautifully narrated. G-d bless.
Posted By Anonymous, Chennai, India

Posted: Jan 2, 2011
I agree with Carmen.
I think the parable about the holes in the fence is more suitable for adults rather than children.(Many adults find it difficult to control their anger.)The little girl now has to struggle with feelings of guilt as well as anger management.This is a huge emotional burden to place on a child!
I think it would be more appropriate for the mother to have a close look at what is happening in the child's environment. What is the general atmosphere like at home? Could a family member be contributing to the problem? What about the mother's own intereaction with her child? Is she inclined to be overly critical?What is going on at school? Is someone bullying her? Is she experiencing difficulty with her studies?
A child losing her temper thirty-seven times a day is a serious concern. Giving her mussar, a strict approach, will only add to her pain.
Posted By Shulamit, Melbourne, Australia

Posted: Nov 19, 2010
Do you lose your temper
There are two issues here; why is someone losing their temper & what to do about it. Both are equally important. I suspect that most people tend to focus on the why, sometimes using it to justify their actions and/or finding a solution. I believe the main intent of this article is to focus on the impact of losing one's temper has upon others, which is easy to overlook. Losing one's temper, even one time, can have a profound affect upon the recipient, especially children. All of us need to be mindful of our own behavior and how it influences others. The solution that was presented, is good, since it provides the person who is angry an opportunity to discharge this anger (excess energy) without hurting another person, to cool down & think about their actions. Doesn't mean it's right for everyone. One additional issue that needs to be looked at. What is anger? Anger means a person is hurting emotionally. Do we direct it towards ourselves (depression) or others (anger)?
Posted By Anonymous, Huntington Woods, MI

Posted: Nov 18, 2010
A smile
There are so many people who never get a smile directed at them. Does the face that creates a kind smile perform a Mitzvah? The person that just lost everything? The smile catches the sadness and elevates it with a ray of light.
Posted By .

Posted: Nov 17, 2010
Rxcellent parable
As one of the other people wrote, this article really got to me in a way no other article or lecture on anger has. It's sobering to think that the holes still remain... and they do. I wish I'd learnt earlier about Judaism's prohibition on anger.

Chana's presentation skills are excellent too.
Posted By Denise, Toronto, Canada

Posted: Nov 17, 2010
beautiful deep and affecting,
Just please drop the insincere "Let's be in touch" at the end.
Posted By Anonymous, Jerusalem

Posted: Nov 16, 2010
G-d willing I want to try this with my family ,I think the visual will really help all of us . Thank you for elevating this world .
Posted By Anonymous, L.A, ca

Posted: Nov 16, 2010
Anonymous from London. . . the story may not be true. But you know that. It's the spirit of it.

I heard this and thought, "Taking out a nail is a head ache and leaves a hole. . . what a way to resume tossing temper tantrums!" But I know better: it is better to not create the holes in the first place and leave the fabric of our lives whole.

Chana's discussion is to provoke thinking, not to adress news of a particular little girl who likes to get her way. But alas, you know that.
Posted By Anonymous, West of Siberia



 

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