Question:
I need help. My family has always enjoyed Shabbat meals, and I light the Shabbat candles. Now we have decided to become totally Shabbat observant. Problem is, I am a professional. I work a lot. Quitting is not an option, and I leave work on Fridays barely in time to arrive home by sundown.
How can I possibly prepare Shabbat? Can we ever have anyone over? Frankly, worrying about Shabbat all week is stressing me out, and it seems to be contrary to the entire Shabbat spirit.
I would really appreciate practical tips from women who have actually had to deal with these issues.
Answer:
It’s great that you have made the decision to be Shabbat-observant; Shabbat is such a blessing, if it didn’t exist it would have to be invented! I realize it is hard, but know that you are not alone; there are many Jewish women in your position who are able to juggle both. Here are some suggestions; let me know if they work for you or not!
- Prepare for Shabbat during the week. If you bake challah, bake it on Sunday. Make the chicken or meat on a weeknight, and freeze it. Chicken soup (without the veggies) freezes excellently. Even potato kugel freezes well. All you have to do on Friday afternoon, then, is get it all warmed up.
- Get a crockpot (there are many on the market available at quite reasonable prices), and put in the chicken/meat and potatoes or rice in the morning. By the time you come home, you will have a piping hot Shabbat meal ready and waiting. Fish takes only a few minutes to prepare, and if you eat gefilte fish, you can buy jars of it ready made to save more time.
- Set the Shabbat table on Thursday night, so that the candles and all you need will be ready when you get home—one less thing to do when you’re rushing before Shabbat.
- About guests: you don’t have to have a five-course meal in order to have guests. Try inviting one or two people over, and see how it goes. I’m sure you and your family will enjoy having guests over.
- Finally, many women and men who are Shabbat-observant are able to compromise with their workplaces in the following manner: during winter months, when Shabbat comes in so early, they either come in earlier on Friday, stay later on other days, or work a bit on Sunday to make up for the extra couple of hours they take off in order to be home at a decent time before sundown. Perhaps see if you can work something out with your office along those lines.
I know you can do it!
Chani Benjaminson, for Chabad.org
stamford hill
South Africa
- G-d created the Shabbat for Jews and He also created the solutions. It says that G-d creates the solution before the problem. It might help u to think outside the box which u have started to do by writing here.
- order out ,it may seem more expensive but I have done it many times when I was working overtime many times and had a ton of guests and I found out that it's cheaper and u end up enjoying Shabbat so much more.
- Or like u can learn from Tdaddikim that as soon as Shabbat ends ,they start Shabbat by preparing everyday .one day a menu, a guest list, something u can freeze,
- Cholent is the easiest thing to prep , 20 mnts at most lmk if u need a Morroccan recipe for that.
- I get the whole family to help it makes a huge difference , it builds great relationships, u catch up on talking, it builds compassion as well and great bonding
Shabbat Shalom
la
Brooklyn
Flushing, NY
I am young and relatively newly married and also work as a full time professional.
You should know that any professional newly observant or not struggles with this.
I have learned to compromise and realise I am not superwoman and I can't do it all.
E.g., I buy challos, as the amount of time & shifts needed to make these is just beyond my schedule. Dessert is also the last thing I make as that is easy to buy.
I have quick and easy recipes which I repeat regulary, and I don't have guests as often as I would like - I don't schedule them when I know work is going to be busy.
I also have to be very organised and frankly know exactly what you are referring to when you talk about stressing over shabbos all week.
Unfortunately, I do think there is a limited amount that can be done to relieve this stress, as I said we are not superwomen and can't do it all.
What I have found, though, is each time is easier as I gain confidence.
Good Luck!
I am in the same boat. I work full time, professional +family. We started keeping shabat only recently and I too had a problem with all the meal preparation. We buy food on Sunday and quick top up on Wednesday. On Thursday eve on the way from work my hubby buys a fish and a Challah and we prepare a meal for shabos on Thursday. On Friday I leave my work a bit earlier. I am pretty sure you can negotiate flexible work hours for Friday due to family circumstances, you do not have to tell everybody in your office why you have to leave earlier on Friday. In the beginning when I just started keeping shabos I was coming up with all sorts of "excuses" - have to pick up my daughter earlier, have to go do some test, do not feel good, have to take my car to mechanic. I also started postgrad studies and even I do not have lectures on Friday, I leave earlier saying that I go to a class. As they say, if you want something you will find the way, otherwise you will find excuses. Good luck!
Mel, Au
chabadbentleigh.com
Davis, CA
rock, md
0000, Ireland