Here's a great tip:
Enter your email address and we'll send you our weekly magazine by email with fresh, exciting and thoughtful content that will enrich your inbox and your life, week after week. And it's free.
Oh, and don't forget to like our facebook page too!
Printed from
Contact Us

Do I Have a Soulmate?

Do I Have a Soulmate?


Dear Rachel,

Is there any guarantee that each person will meet his or her soulmate and will find someone who truly loves them? Time and again I have had my heart broken and my hopes dashed. I'm considered attractive, I'm kind, generous, sensitive, smart, intelligent, warm, and fun to be with. So is there really someone out there for everyone?

Seattle, WA

Dear B.D.,

It is said that before each of us was created, we were one big soul. Forty days before our conception, G‑d took our "big soul" in His hands and he split it into two pieces. The work of finding our soul mate is finding our missing half.

So how do we find our other half? We have to first begin by perfecting our half. In other words, we have to really know ourselves and be the best "half" we can possibly be. Your soul mate is out there, that's not the question. The question is: are you where you need to be to find him? Are you recognizable to him? Don't forget, he's looking for you too.

As for the "guarantee," you want one of the most powerful things about being in a relationship is that there are no guarantees. Faith and trust are such huge components in a marriage for this very reason. That's why our Sages compare the love between a man and wife to a fire. It is not static or calm, nor is it certain. It's not supposed to be. That is the beauty of a committed relationship…allowing someone into the most vulnerable and hidden places of our hearts trusting our emotions will be well received.

It is said that there are three partners in a marriage: the husband, the wife and G‑d. Until we meet our soulmate, it's just two partners… us and G‑d. This applies to that relationship as well. Because G‑d does not typically grant us a bird's eye view of His plans, we need to constantly bolster our relationship with faith and trust. We need to trust in our depths that He is guiding our steps towards our ultimate purpose, towards the "completion" of our soul.

Another strong component in marriage is communication. Communication is the essential ingredient to every healthy relationship. Since you are preparing to meet your life partner, it's important to practice communicating with your other partner, G‑d. Talk it out with Him. Some people call it prayer, but it could just as well be called communication.

Your "someone" is out there, looking for you. Be the best half-soul you can possibly be and G‑d willing, your steps will be guided towards each other sooner than you know it.


“Dear Rachel” is a biweekly column that is answered by a rotating group of experts. This question was answered by Sarah Zadok.

Sarah Zadok is a childbirth educator, doula and freelance writer. She lives in Ramat Beit Shemesh, Israel, with her husband and four children.

© Copyright, all rights reserved. If you enjoyed this article, we encourage you to distribute it further, provided that you comply with's copyright policy.
Join the discussion
1000 characters remaining
Email me when new comments are posted.
Sort By:
Discussion (68)
May 22, 2016
Exactly. Bravo. You will learn be fine. Shavuah tov
eva trieger
solana beach
May 22, 2016
Jewish soulmate
I hope that all of you find your soulmates very soon and live happy, peaceful and beautiful Jewish lives together, with many Jewish children. Your soulmate is the other half of your Jewish soul and therefore, obviously, has to be Jewish. Don't settle for anything less.

But where can you meet him/her, if there are no Jews near you? You can ask Jewish friends to introduce you to someone or you can ask your rabbi if he knows someone. Or perhaps there are Jewish groups for singles.
Shoshana -Jerusalem
May 20, 2016
Thank you
I Guess I felt
He was my soulmate... But maybe I was wrong, he just had to leave to let it come my true soulmate. Until then I'll be learning and growing.
May 16, 2016
soulmates re: anon toronto
you find them!! ^u^ pray to HaShem to guide you two together, if it was meant to be. Be the best you could ever be.
Tx - Cal
May 16, 2016
For Toronto
What do you mean, "He didn't want to?" If he is truly your soul mate, Hashem will send him back to you. If he isn't your beshert, perhaps, he had to leave to make room for your true soul mate. Good luck,
eva trieger
San Diego
May 15, 2016
What happens if you thought you find your soulmate and then he disappear even he didnt want to....
August 18, 2015
Personal Satisfaction and Joy?
When you say spiritual growth, how does it manifest? Are you a joy filled person? Are you grateful for your health? Do you exude happiness and contentment? Are you aware of the bounty that HaShem has given you? If so, that is a very powerful and magnetizing force and people will seek you out to be with that energy.
Good luck!
Best wishes,
San Diego
August 17, 2015
I enjoyed reading this post. I have been looking for my soulmate for several years now and still haven't found him yet. I have read many things where people said I need to know my own soul or love myself first, and I feel like I did that already. I spent a lot of time working on perfecting my soul, but still no soulmate yet. I don't know what more I can do for my own spiritual growth. Do you have any advice on how I can perfect my soul or get it in the right state so that I will attract my soulmate? Thank you.
November 26, 2014
Good advice from T Portland July 5, 2014
Also, ask married friends if they know anybody for you, or speak to your rabbi.

And most important of all, enjoy your life. Make it meaningful with mitzvos and chesed, and pursuing your career. and whatever's important to you. Everyone has his/her own mission in life and can make many contributions to society, her neighbors and friends, and family which is all part of making this world a better place to live.
November 24, 2014
Eliana! I loved your comment... you really put me in my place! Thank you. :)
Related Topics

This page in other languages