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Are There Jewish Customs for Pregnancy and Birth?
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Question:
Is there a Jewish way for pregnancy? Are there any customs that I should be aware of? Is there anything my husband could or should do? This is our first baby, and we want to do this right!
Answer:
May you have an easy pregnancy, and may the birth be uneventful and in an auspicious time.
The months of pregnancy are a very precious and delicate time. As your doctor has surely informed you, the attitude, behavior and nutritional choices of the mother during this time have a profound impact on the health and future development of the fetus. Recent medical studies also point to the effects of the physical and emotional environment on the unborn baby. The pregnant woman should be surrounded by a positive, calm and tranquil atmosphere. Anger and anxiety should be avoided whenever possible.
The same is true with regards to the spiritual development of the embryo and fetus; the behavior of the mother as well as her environment have lifelong effects on the developing new life. Our sages encourage women to utilize the pregnancy months by increasing in good deeds and spiritual refinement.
Towards this end, the pregnant woman should attend synagogue services as often as possible, and participate in Torah study classes. (Click here to find a synagogue service and/or Torah class in your area.)
While all good deeds and mitzvot are beneficial to the unborn child, our sages specifically stress the value of giving extra charity. Being kind to others causes G‑d to treat us in corresponding fashion. In addition to the regular charity one distributes, charity should be given every day—having a charity box at home facilitates this practice. The most auspicious time to give charity is before the Shabbat or Jewish holiday candle-lighting. At that time additional charity should be given, considering that on the following day one will be unable to give charity, due to the restriction against handling money on these holy days.
Just as a pregnant woman must be meticulous regarding her nutritional needs, she must also be careful with her “spiritual nutrition.” Eating only kosher foods has an extremely positive impact on the fetus.
The following are some other pregnancy- and birth-related customs which are practiced by various Jewish communities:
- Some have the custom to keep a pregnancy secret from friends and acquaintances until the onset of the fifth month, unless it becomes plainly apparent. This restriction does not include close family members.1
- Some have the custom for the husband to open the synagogue ark before the Torah reading during the last month of pregnancy. The Zohar says, “When the congregation takes out the Torah Scroll, the Heavenly Gates of Mercy are opened, and G‑d’s love is aroused.” The husband opening the Gates of Heaven hopefully elicits G‑d’s merciful blessing that the birth be easy and without complications.
- In certain communities it is customary for the pregnant woman to immerse in a mikvah sometime during the ninth month of pregnancy. Speak to your local rebbetzin or “mikvah lady” regarding planning and preparations. It is advisable to consult with your OB/GYN before going to the mikvah.
- During the term of pregnancy, both mother and father should increase their recitation of Psalms.2
Before going to bed, it is customary for the husband to recite Psalm 20. When finishing, he should repeat the second verse of the Psalm.
- The home’s mezuzahs should be inspected by a scribe during the months of pregnancy. If one does not have mezuzahs on all the home’s doorways, now is a great time to purchase new mezuzahs.
- A pregnant woman should endeavor to be exposed to spiritual and holy sights and sounds. To this end, whenever possible she should avoid gazing at non-kosher animals (trips to the zoo can wait until after birth . . . ),3 and listening to gossip, slander, or other unsavory talk.
- In many communities, pregnant woman do not visit cemeteries. Perhaps this is to avoid settings which can lead to negative emotions.
- There is an ancient custom for the pregnant woman to sew a sash (known as the gartel or wimple) for a Torah scroll. If the newborn is a son, the sash is used on the Torah from which he receives his Bar Mitzvah aliyah, and then once again the aliyah on the Shabbat before his wedding.
- It is customary to have a copy of Psalm 121 on hand during birth. Click here for an easy-to-print version.
- If possible, during the final stages of labor and delivery, the husband should recite these Psalms: 1, 2, 3, 4, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 33, 47, 72, 86, 90, 91, 92, 93, 104, 112, and 113 through 150.
Refer to the following links for more information on these topics:
Pregnancy
Birth
Charity
Shabbat and Holiday Candle-Lighting
Kosher
Opening the Ark
Mikvah
Inspecting Mezuzahs
Rabbi Dovid Zaklikowski,
Chabad.org
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Latest Comments:
I do understand the rules about not eating non-kosher animals although I'm not sure those rules are relevant today. I consider it a personal choice. But, to say that non-kosher animals in a zoo give off negative energy to a child in its mother's womb is just plain nonsense no matter how you define energy.
Perhaps there should be kosher and non-kosher zoos and then the problem would not arise. Hmm - I can only imagine how small the non-kosher zoos would be!
Personally, I love going to the zoo and looking at all the animals but then, I'm not pregnant --- or would you-all say that it doesn't matter if a woman is pregnant or not. Any or all of us (women and men) could be affected by this so-called negative energy if that is the case. Then we all may be in trouble.
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So do some research and sort it out. There are such things as "buba meises", many of which are not valid. But staring (not glancing) at non-kosher animals is not a "buba meisah". By the way, if staring at them is so bad, can you imagine what happens if a person eats them?
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I think that you are translating energy here wrong. while we may not be tuned into various occurrences’ in our midst as being negative, we should at least recognize that there is some minute possibility that they are.
Feeling angry, feelings of hatred and being depressed, in scientific studies have been proven to have a direct effect on the future of the child.
The same could be said of violence that we see or take a part in. Watching violent movies, listening to curse words, these all have an effect.
Judaism teaches that there are reasons why non-kosher animals are selected to be that way. Some are preyers, dangerous or considered to be extra dirty.
According to this article, being in their midst has a direct negative effect, just like being in negative atmospheres. It could be it adds tension or just violent thoughts. This does not matter. Energy here, I believe refers to the atmosphere.
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Yes, I agree that tension or relaxation can be sensed in a room but that isn't because of the energy that is given off. It just means you are a sensitive person who is tuned in to others. I think we are getting off topic though. As far as non-kosher animals in the zoo giving off negative energy which could be detrimental to a pregnant woman is concerned, what else could that be other than a superstition? So many beliefs/practices are nothing more than superstitions that have become an intergral part of our culture and religion. It is up to us to sort out what is superstition and what is not.
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That items give off energy is not superstition, it is kind of like modern, as a matter of fact.
If you are attuned to it, sometimes you notice that you just walk into a room and you can feel tension in the air before a person says a word. Or you right away feel a happy relaxed feeling, if that's the case. This is energy that they are giving off. As I said, it's not the most important thing in the world but is is interesting and does exist.
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You summed it up nicely. If Ari or anyone else believes that non-kosher animals give off negative energy, then he and/or his possibly pregnant wife can bypass the zoo. We all can make a choice on which customs/practices we believe are true and which ones are just superstitions. In my opinion, so many of these beliefs/practices are nothing more than superstitions that have become rituals and are no longer relevant in today's world.
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You don't really have to believe any of this energy business if you don't want to. I don't even know if it fits into the catergory of belief at all. And it's certainly not Torah from Sinai. So if it bothers you, forget it.
It's just that animals, like everything else, give off energy. Energy can be positive or negative. A lamb, for instance, will give off positive energy; a fox, negative. (slyness, for ex.) So since these are spiritual , ie. not physical, attributes, people are carefu not to be exposed to them for long periods of time, by staring, as opposed to a quick glance.
But like I said, if this bothers you, forget it. It's not important enough to get worked up over. (Just the next time your wife is pregnant, don't take her to the zoo!).
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How about you? It seems as if you are judging my comments. I am entitled to my opinion too.
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There are all kinds of wacky beliefs in this world, why is the belief that one shouldn't gaze at a non-kosher animal any more or less strange than the next?
This is not meant to be in defense of the custom/practice, nor in support of it. I'm just saying that if you're going to choose to believe in one set of legends or another (if indeed it is a choice - often it isn't a conscious one), where do you get off judging one part of this collection of beliefs as more or less legitimate than the rest?
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Thank you for a helpful article. One suggested emendation though. You write: "Eating only kosher foods has an extremely positive impact on the fetus."
While eating only kosher foods may or may not be healthy for the fetus (it depends what kosher foods you eat!), I think it is safe to say that eating only kosher foods has an extremely positive impact on the *neshama* of the fetus. So I would suggest emending the passage in your post to clarify that the positive impact is spiritual, not (necessarily) physical.
Thanks again.
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