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I Thought I Was a Girl



He's just your average college guy.

School team hat. Beaten jeans and sneakers. Blonde hair.

He sits to my right.

He is a boy.

I am a girl.

This girl and this boy are on flight 1016, both excited for their arrival in Miami.

They are sitting way too close for comfort They are sitting way too close for comfort, and this trip's battle over the armrest takes an easy loss on the side of the girl.

We're in the air.

The boy spreads out as much as he can, reclines his seat, and shifts his hat to cover his eyes.

Something's holding me back from relaxing.

No, not something.

A boy is holding me back from relaxing.

I'm not accustomed to sprawling out and resting in such proximity to a college lad.

So this girl is sitting upright.

There is no plan of action when you're stuck in 5 square feet and thousands of feet in the air. She'll just have to deal.

Soon enough, the young mister starts moving.

Ever so nonchalantly, our young man pulls out a magazine from his stuff.

And, no, it's not Newsweek.

They call it "Men's Health Magazine."

Apparently, a tan and barely clothed model has something to do with men's health.

I glance over. I have to see the expression on his face.

The pictures. The vulgar headlines. Is he seriously about to peruse through this magazine with a young lady seated right beside him?

This girls cheeks are probably a little flushed.

So he opens it.

The flashy pages totally grab my glances in this empty, crammed, and temporary space.

And now, every time he turns the page, I naturally look over…almost against my will.

The pictures. The vulgar headlines.

This men's magazine is totally dedicated to the objectification of women.

Women - for men's viewing pleasure.

I am utterly amazed.

Does this boy not realize?

I, too, am a woman.

I am a feminine being.

I have the same body parts

I may even wear the same lipstick.

And the boy sits beside the girl, turning the pages ever so casually.

This guy is acting as if I am a separate creation. As if I have nothing to take personally.

He is effacing my gender.

The lack of embarrassment is startling.

How could he not be uncomfortable?

Who does he think he is – exposing me to this?

Row 21 has never been the scene of so much squirming. I am cringing from within.

This girl wants to cry.

He is effacing my gender On a flight to Miami, I am forced to face the harsh reality of how all-too-many view the purpose of the female body, the truths of our all-too-often shameless society, and the horrors of a world with no respect for boundaries.

As I sat in 21E, this girl realized that people have become all too comfortable with their own perversions.

There's no such thing as "behind closed doors" anymore.

And not just that, but our young fellow has lost touch of the world. He doesn't even realize he's sitting next to a woman.

When he opened the magazine, I became an object.

That was the only way he could open the magazine without being guilt-ridden, without it feeling wrong.

After all, who opens a men's magazine with provocative pictures while seated an inch away from a young woman?

This girl feels a little taken advantage of.

She feels a loss of innocence.

And all because of your average college guy.

School team hat. Beaten jeans and sneakers. Blonde hair.

He sits to my right.

He is a boy.

I am an object.


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By Mimi Notik   More articles...  |   RSS Listing of Newest Articles by this Author

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Reader Comments
Latest Comments:
Posted: Oct 21, 2009
Perversion!!???
would you rather he was looking at a picture of a scantily clad man?

Don't talk nonsense about perversion. Modesty is well and good and there to enhance sexuality. There is nothing immodest or perverse about men being attracted to the female form - it is how G-d created the world. Otherwise babies would never be made and men would just stay infront of Eurosports all day.

The Torah puts controls on this sexual attraction rightly so people don't abuse each other. But if you view male desire as perversion then you are going to head for big trouble when you get married.
Posted By Mrs Rachel Steiner, Jerusalem

Posted: June 18, 2009
Don't Make Yourself Into a Victim
No one can make you into an object unless you let them. It's not as if he, G-D forbid, attacked "This Girl". He opened a magazine, and to him, this is perfectly normal. Although to "This Girl" it may have seemed like pornography, it wasn't. Had it been, that would have been a different story. "This Girl" is very sensitive but lacks appropriate boundaries, which she will need to develop. She could have used the time to read tehillim instead of working herself up into a victimhood frenzy and actually writing about it.
Posted By Anonymous

Posted: June 9, 2009
society today
Wonderfully written. Please do more.

What a place society has come to. In public places we are crammed together into situations where physical contact is nearly impossible to avoid. Yet there are many who seem comfortable to stretch out and make the space even smaller.

Printing has gotten so good that they are too clear to call "just pictures". And the same is true for movies. We watch everything at home on a 110 inch HD screen. It is really just like being there. There is disagreement at home even because he argues that they are "just pictures" and I see it a taking advantage of women and making my body less special -- just another body to look at during the day.
(until the debate is settled, we have a no nudity rule. Period.)

Looking away for the little things just leads to the bigger problems. Little by little modesty is disappearing. And it is shocking where it has gone already. Why should I have to justify not having undressed (or even half undressed) women in my home?
Posted By Anonymous



 


Inner & Outer Beauty
Uncovering the Mystery of Modesty
The Red Carpet
The Touch of Two Worlds
What is Beauty?
Dressing Up
I Thought I Was a Girl
Paper Cut-Outs
Esther: Hidden Beauty
Modesty and Mystery
My Beloved Mechitzah
Model Moms
Feminine Beauty
The Tail of Vashti
Revealing Your True Identity
The Women's Balcony
Showing 1 - 15 of 25