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Prayer Babies

Prayer Babies


Childbearing proceeded like clockwork for us. I had three daughters in quick succession, with a space of exactly two years between each birth.

But Moriah, my fourth child, was different. After my third daughter was born, I became pregnant, and was scheduled once again to give birth on my third's daughter's second birthday. And then for the first time in my life, I miscarried.

The time between my miscarriage and the start of my pregnancy with Moriah were among the saddest months of my life. I grieved for that lost baby that I would never be a mother to, and each month that passed was accompanied by the same stabbing sense of loss that I experienced that terrible winter day when I actually miscarried.

During that time, my loss cast a shadow over every moment of my life, over my mornings spent writing, over my afternoons in the park catching my giggling daughters at the bottom of the slide, over my evenings spent returning phone calls and washing down the kitchen counters.

My loss cast a shadow over every moment of my life

I have never prayed in my life like I prayed during those months to get pregnant again.

The day that I found out I was pregnant with Moriah, I turned to G‑d with thanks and sobbed with joy.

Every day of that pregnancy I asked to be blessed with a "healthy and whole baby," and I often visited the Western Wall with a prayer book and a full package of tissues. By the time I headed home, the package was nearly empty.

In the end, we named our fourth daughter Moriah, in honor of Mount Moriah where the Western Wall is located. We named her Moriah in honor of the yearning and tears and prayer that poured out of me at that holy place, and which filled the months leading up to Moriah's conception and her long-anticipated birth.

Moriah is a special baby for me. While I have always believed that the birth of every healthy child is a gift from G‑d, the intensity of my prayers as I awaited Moriah transformed me into a person who feels the truth of this miracle in every ounce of my being. To this day, my awareness that this little girl is a gift from G‑d pulsates through my connection with her.

The eight months following that miscarriage, though traumatic for me, were a blip compared with the suffering of one in seven married women, who statistically, could be afflicted at one point in their marriages with infertility. These are women who struggle with treatment after treatment, year after year, and even decade after decade with a sense of longing that makes my own short-lived yearning seem insignificant by comparison. The difference between my yearning and theirs is the difference between a person who really needs to get outside for a breath of fresh air, and a suffocating person who gasps for oxygen.

Yet my experience, however short-lived, managed to open my eyes to these women who often suffer in silence.

Since that miscarriage, I have kept a list of childless women that I pray for, from my community and from all over the world. And every year, always to my amazement, I cross two or three childless-women-turned-mothers off my list.

When I meet these long-awaited babies, who fly into the world on the tail of thousands upon thousands of prayers, they have a special glow about them. These are children who are equal parts flesh, blood, tears, and longing. These are prayer babies.

These are babies like six-month-old Hodaya. Hodaya was born after five years of marriage, three years of fertility treatments, and a high-risk pregnancy that was spent largely in a hospital bed.

Or like Tehila, who was born two months premature and spent six weeks in an incubator. I prayed for this precious little girl every single day. Every new baby I see makes me smile. But when I met Tehila for the first time yesterday, sleeping in her baby carriage, she gave me goosebumps.

These are babies like eight-month-old Raphael. Five years ago, Raphael's mother gave birth to a sick baby girl who tragically died several hours after she was born. It took Raphael's mother two years to become pregnant again, and that pregnancy also ended tragically in a second-trimester miscarriage. A year later, Raphael was conceived.

These are children who are equal parts flesh, blood, tears, and longing

Usually, when I receive a mass email announcing a birth I forward it to my husband, and reply with a hasty email wishing "Mazal Tov!" When I received the email about Raphael, I wept. Then I called his mother, still woozy from the birth, on her cellphone to hear all about it.

To me, these children represent the ultimate picture of hope.

Every baby is a miracle, but the heartfelt prayers that went into every one of these prayer babies makes us see that they are miracles. Our prayers for them open up our eyes, and enable us to see these children for what they really are. For what all children are.

That is the gift of prayer.

On Rosh Hashanah we read the stories of three barren women, Sarah, Rachel, and Hanna. It is their stories of longing for their own prayer babies that should inspire us through this pivotal week leading up to Yom Kippur.

Why are infertile women such a central theme of the High Holidays? Because there are few people in the world who will ever pray with the intensity of a woman who yearns for a child.

These great women teach us how the power of prayer can transform a woman into a matriarch, and a child into a leader of the Jewish people. Prayer accomplishes this, in large part, by clarifying what is truly important.

You don't pray for your car, or for your manicure, or for your internet connection.

You pray for your children, that they should be good people who will do good things. That they should be the kind of Jews who throughout their lives will create a great light to illuminate the darkness.

Prayer babies are so precious because our prayers for them open our eyes to realize that these children were sent to us special delivery by the Master of the Universe.

During the days leading up to Yom Kippur and on the holiest day of the year itself, let us continue in the tradition of our matriarchs, and pray for our own children like we never have before. And let us pray for those who have yet to have their own children. And let us give strength to those who wonder if they ever will.

But most importantly, let us pray so that we will discover the prayer babies in our own homes, whether they are a month old, or four years old, or thirty-four years old. Whether they were conceived after a decade of fertility treatments, or by their parents' first anniversary.

Any baby can have the special glow of a prayer baby. All you need to do is open up your mouth and open up your heart.

Chana (Jenny) Weisberg is the author of the new book One Baby Step at a Time: Seven Secrets of Jewish Motherhood (Urim), and Expecting Miracles: Finding Meaning and Spirituality in Pregnancy through Judaism (Urim). She is the creator of the popular website, and lives with her husband and children in Jerusalem.
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Patricia lisbon September 18, 2017

Please, pray for me. I'm over 40 and I still could't have a baby of my own. Please, keep me and my future baby in your prayers. A big Kiss from Lisbon. Reply

Jaime Tn/US December 23, 2016

HOPE AGAINST HOPE! This article and all the comments that I poured over, came at the perfect time! Just yet another demonstration that GOD WILL NOT LET ME GIVE UP on believing Him for children! Over 10 yrs ago, with the first negative pregnancy test, I felt God told me to get alone with Him. I got my Bible and turned to where I had placed my pen for notes, and when I looked down, it was right at Psalm 127..."children are a heritage of The Lord,and the fruit of the womb is His reward." God also showed me that I could do all these things people tell me to do to get pregnant, but until He said it was time, it would not happen. With each letdown in this area,over my 14 yrs of marriage and both of us being 40, God still continues to show me things and literally won't let me give up. Went thru 1st IUI without success, however we found out that my husband had an infection, and once he took antibiotics, all his counts went from low to normal...So...if all else fails,it won't be a waste in going to the clinic because would have never known husband had infection. We are scheduled for a 2nd IUI, but now dealing with another issue internally with me that could cause us to cancel. Also, husband and I had a discussion about something else that has just crushed me where now I feel I am grieving over a loss (of no baby) and suffering a blow that I just don't see getting past in the other area. YET GOD IS GOD ALONE and He sees the full picture well before and we lack understanding because we don't! All kinds of things have to line up...people,resources, timing!! I pray for you all to hope against hope nd that in the NO-s, we all will see the sovereignty,blessings and peace of God and will be strengthened to move forward and rest in Him (cuz we just can't do it on our own)... Reply

Anonymous Ny September 29, 2016

I have had four miscarriages and an ectopic pregnancy! I pray everyday that one day I will be blessed with a miracle baby! Need all the prayers I can get! Please pray for me! Reply

Regina April 11, 2016

Thank you for your encouragement. And I lift you all up in prayer. I too am praying for a child, please pray with me.
God bless you, and that the Lord would give you the desires of your heart and for the owner of this blog for their love and encouragement. Reply

Anonymous Middle East April 11, 2016

Thank you for your encouraging blog. I am a step mother but I am praying for a child of our own. Please pray with us. God bless you. Reply

Anonymous May 13, 2015

Hi I have 2 healthy boys from my first marriage. I am fortunate to be married for a second time to a wonderfull man. We have been trying now for 2 years for a baby. Praying for a miracle. Can you please also pray for us for a miracle. Reply

Anonymous Knoxville September 24, 2014

As I read of so many women who are in the same boat as myself, my heart and prayers go out for each and everyone of you all. There are no words to describe the hole that's within me spirit and heart because I want to become a mother on my own through the grace of God. But the only advice I can pass down to so many. Make sure this yearning is a desire from the Heavenly Father himself and not because your friends etc have babies. Ask God to open your heart and soul and if its not of his will to conceive a baby ask that he takes the want away. That's how you will surely know... But in the mean time may the God if all creations give everyone the blissfully joy as he gave Hanna Sarah Rachel and many others. God bless you all ... Reply

Anonymous Singapore September 24, 2014

We are trying for the second baby,had 2 miscarriages.. Now I am not able to conceive again.. My daughter is waiting for her sibling.. Whenever she ask me about the brother or sister I feel very guilty... Please pray for us to get a healthy n active baby Reply

Anonymous August 18, 2014

Thank you for praying for women who have not yet held in their arms the babies God intended for them. We join you in prayers for the moment when we hold ours. Reply

Anonymous August 15, 2014

Like a lot of hopeful women out there, I too am seeking comfort while trying to conceive. I need all the prayers and blessings to conceive quickly and to deliver a healthy baby soon. Thanks.
Lots of love and good wishes to all. Reply

Anonymous June 12, 2014

I came across this site seeking a mighty way to pray that God will finally hear my deepest pray for a baby. After trying for 3 years and 2 failed ivf I started becoming anger and hurt I stopped trying. But no matter how much I try not to think about being a mother I cannot. I want so much to be able to conceive and give birth to healthy babies. So I ask each and every one who comes across this will take time to say a special prayer for me. Thank everyone in advance and I pray as well for those who have a strong desire to become parents. Reply

Net California April 23, 2014

Need your prayers Pray for us

We had 4 miscarriages in the last 3 yrs. The fourth one happened yesterday. I haven't talked to anyone about it, I just pray for us to get through it. Please pray for us, we still want to keep trying. I have faith in God and always continue to count our blessings. Reply

Steve Ca February 19, 2014

We had 6 years of miscarriages and infertility treatments. I have a son named Liam two years old.
I thank everyone on this site for their prayers . He is a miracle. I can only tell you I was so sad for years then had a son. Sometimes I forget but I need to thank god everyday. Please don't give up believe it can happen Reply

Anonymous February 18, 2014

Beautiful article I just came across your article, and you have said it so beautifully. Thank you for keeping infertile couples like me and my husband in your prayers. After 3 IVF attempts all ending in miscarriage, we appreciate your understanding of our circumstances and welcome your prayers. God hears ours prayers, and I still have hope to become a mother. Reply

Robyn Los Angeles February 3, 2014

Helping miracles along The beauty of our religion is that assisted reproductive technology can be approved and be supervised by Puah, if that is what you need. The answers are out there. Reply

Anonymous Long Island January 27, 2014

my wonderful daughter 29 just had a miscarriage We are all,very sad and it was her first. Please pray for her that she conceives another baby who is healthy. our hearts are broken, I would,appreciate,all,that,pray in her,behalf. Reply

Bev J Israel January 23, 2014

A prayer for a son for Yoash My boyfriend and i have been trying to have a baby together.. I have 2 children from my peevious marraige.. But we so desperately want a baby to share together he has no children and never been married.. Please say a prayer .. amen Reply

simcha cohen New York January 17, 2014

Need a prayer 3 miscarriages since December 2012. It was the worst year of my life! Please pray for me that this last month will result in a postitive pregnancy for me and that my lovenox treatment will save the pregnancy. May he/she be blessed with health and happiness. I need prayers! Reply

Anonymous india January 5, 2014

Please pray for me all.. 4 years of fertility treatment. 3 miscarriages.. 3rd ivf.. tested today and it was negative.. maybe i tested early.. really need a miracle. . Reply

Ginger Texas December 12, 2013

Rachel Aelisha Grace Please pray that God will help me conceive to bare a healthy Rachel Aelisha Grace. Rachel (of the god who helps deliver) Grace. Thanks for your prayers, I pray for the peace and blessing of the jewish people and of Israel. Amen Reply

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