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No Gossiping About Myself

No Gossiping About Myself


“I totally lost it! I deserve the Worst Mother of the Year award!”

That’s how I repeat my day to my husband, as I recount my reaction to my toddler’s umteenth tantrum. Of course, I neglect to mention the many hours of patient, loving playing. Of drawing purple trees, reading books, giggling and mindful eye contact. Because I just feel so awful.

Except that just like it’s not OK to gossip about someone else, it’s not OK to slander myself.

If anything, instead of looking to put myself down, I ought to be scouting out the good things I do.

According to the Talmud, before a baby is born, the soul is made to swear that it will be a tzaddik, someone very righteous. And it is my job while here on this earth to reveal that inner tzaddik, to catch myself in the act of doing things right. Of course, I still have to work on myself, but rather than focusing on my flaws, I can build on my strengths.

Thoughtstream: Today, I will choose to magnify my positive moments and accomplishments.

(Adapted from Me’Otzar HaMelech, vol. 1, pg. 66-67.)

Sara Blau is a teacher and extracurricular director at Beth Rivkah High School. She is a wife, mother, and author of several children“s books.
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Sara Blau Brooklyn June 16, 2016

what is your focus? "Of course, I still have to work on myself, but rather than focusing on my flaws, I can build on my strengths."

This last line sums it up- its not about accepting mediocrity but about highlighting the good- which usually motivates more improvement, not less. Reply

Anonymous Northbrook June 15, 2016

Would it not be an act of self-deception? While it is generally accepted that focusing on the positive, emphasizing the positive, 'counting our blessings' is the healthy, more spiritual approach, is it not also one that would lead one to accept the mediocre and the undesirable as sufficient, even desirable, thus leaving one in the grip of thinking, acting or living a lifestyle which is really not 'the best it could be'? Reply