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A Positive Call


I will never forget the Friday afternoon phone call I once received from my oldest son’s teacher. Michael was a child with a learning disability and resultant behavior problems. Previous phone calls from his teachers were not happy ones. So I was amazed and delighted to hear that Michael had done surprisingly well on a social studies project.

Appreciatively, I thanked his teacher for taking the time to convey the positive news. It was a call I never forgot.

A few years later, I was teaching English to some challenging classes at a large high school. Many of my students neglected to do their homework, and their test results were far from stellar. Trying to spark their interest, I decided to give them a different kind of assignment.

I told them to research a famous personality, dress up as that person, and deliver a short presentation, complete with a question-and-answer session from the class.

Most of the students enjoyed the challenge, and began to earnestly research their roles. One boy, named David, surprisingly selected Albert Einstein as his famous person. David, although not among the best and the brightest, somehow seemed to identify with the personality of Albert Einstein.

Wearing a white curly wig, David scribbled some indecipherable “formulae” on the blackboard before starting his presentation. His pseudo-Germanic accent made the class laugh, but he really knew Einstein’s character.

Truly impressed, I gave him an A for his presentation. David was thrilled with the first A he had received all year. But that was not enough. Giving David some well-deserved positive feedback was only part of my job.

Remembering the call I had received from my son’s teacher, I phoned David’s mother. I told her how pleased I was with his presentation and the effort he had put into it.

The woman was clearly shocked—and delighted.

“Thank you so much for calling and letting me know,” she said gratefully. “You’re the first teacher to tell me something good that David has done. You’ve made my day.”

I smiled, knowing exactly how she felt.

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By Menucha Chana Levin   More articles...  |   RSS Listing of Newest Articles by this Author
Menucha Chana Levin is the author of two novels, The Youngest Bride and The Castle Builders, published by Israel Bookshop Publications.

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Reader Comments
Latest Comments:
Posted: Nov 15, 2011
My Theory
I taught grade school in the inner-city where many in my classes were special needs and gifted, though never recognized as such. Both were often behavior problems and did not do their work. Fortunately, I had a knack for classroom management and gained control of my classes early in the year.

I had two rules for myself. The first was that I contacted every parent/guardian within the first two weeks of school to let them know I could not teach their child without their help. The second was that for every problematic call I had to make, I would make two positive calls. Every student had somthing positive I about which I could call home. Sometimes, I would give a student a note telling him/her I would be calling home for a good reason. I loved the smiles those notes produced! I think the positive calls helped more than the problematic calls I had to make.

I have a child with an IEP in high school and love when his teachers let me know he is doing well. We all smile!
Posted By Debbie, New City, NY

Posted: Nov 15, 2011
My son is lucky enough to have a wonderful Special Education system at his public school (we moved here for a reason...) and Teachers and Special Ed. Stall praise him every time he deserves it, which has been A LOT these days! ☺

My son has no academic issues but big lack of social skills, and he has done amazing progress since last year! I cannot walk through the school's hallways without someone calling me to tell me how well he is doing and how amazed the whole Team is about him!!! ☺

It certainly feels good to hear that I am not the only one to see the "good" in my little one!! ♥

Before we moved here (like I said for that school) my son kept coming home with bad reviews and punishments from his teacher, because of his behavior in class and on the playground... That school didn't have a clue, or the budget sufficient to get their staff educated to help children with challenges... It was to the point that I had considered home-schooling!

I am all heart with you! ♥
Posted By IzaCo, Portland

Posted: Nov 14, 2011
Disability
I agree, It is so much easier to concentrate on what needs improvement - and fail to compliment what was done well.

My child's behavior is "challenging"; but her learning disability isn't. Often, people (including unfortunately myself) mistake learning disabilities for "not the brightest and the best" (and yet what if it is that also-sadly). It just means that they are not given fully functioning receptors; and that does not mean it is a brain problem

Why do they lump learning disabilities in with students and workers without any?

My neighbor who was deaf said "Oh, you're listening to music. I said "How do you know" (reading lips) She said "I feel the vibrations in the floor board"

Getting "respect" is often a problem where this (disabilities) is involved, too. How can one get help with a disability, when tests say it's just borderline; but employers are bothered by it? an attorney??
Posted By Anonymous, Westerville, OH/USA

Posted: Nov 9, 2011
sweet. we could all use some positive feedback now and then. as our sages say, "greet every person with a smile."
actually, reading the comments is one of my favorite things about this website.
Posted By jewish girl

Posted: Nov 9, 2011
Wonderful story that moved me deeply. How sweet of you! ♥ As the Mom of a socially challenged boy myself, I know exactly the feeling too... ☺
Posted By IzaCo, Portland

Posted: Nov 8, 2011
A Positive Call
As a mother of 'challenging' children it is great to see that I am not the ONLY one who has children who do not excel in school and for whom most phone calls are negative. Yet my children have many, many positive attributes -- just not the ones the teachers recognize.

How I wish a teacher would call on occasion with something positive.

I have URGED teachers to say ONE GOOD THING to my sons -- even if it is just to acknowledge a new hair cuts, pair of shoes or shirt. The teachers cannot grasp the fact that everyone has something positive and needs to be recognized as such. Constant complaints are wearing and just further erode their self-confidence which helps not a single person.

It is great to know that some of the teachers 'get it.'
Posted By Anonymous, Silver Spring, MD

Posted: Nov 8, 2011
Timely article for parent teacher conferences this Friday! Teachers have only 15 minutes to convey issues - and tend to focus on areas to improve. A good teacher may start out with at least some plattitude and the great teachers will share a special moment where the child shone or share a special piece of work.

More teachers, everyone really, need to make time for positive feedback. We often focus only on the negative. we see what has not been done, rather than what was completed. Children need positive feedback, so do adults.

My daughter cleaned her room and when I went to check, I started pointing out what else was needed - she said 'MOM! stop focusing on what I did not do yet, just notice what I got done.!" I apologized, told her what a great job she had done and emphasized that I was proud of her for what she had accomplished so far.

Great article!
Posted By Anonymous, Schenectady, NY



 


Reflections
The Glamorous Giver and the Disheveled Do-Gooder
Three Grandmothers and their Shabbat Candles
Life Is a Circle
Staying Calm
A Positive Call
Acquire for Yourself a Friend
Other Than the Pain
The Gift of Dignity
Pray, Eat and Pray Some More
Go Inside and Close Your Eyes
G-d and the GPS
With Different Eyes
Why Can’t You Just Be Normal?
Movement and Perspectives
Seeing through the Blindness
Showing 1 - 15 of 89