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The Choice I Make

The Choice I Make

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I am a mom, I am a wife, I am a daughter, I am granddaughter, I am a sister, I am wild, I am shy, I am strong, and I am weak . . . I am so many things, and there are so many things I am not.

I am a Jewish mother of three beautiful children, whom I love with a fierce fire that can not be put into words. I am a wife, and honestly, not such a great one. I use all my patience with my children, and by the end of the day I don’t have much left for making dinner, or doing the laundry. I have strength that has been given to me from G‑d to deal with all that has been dished out to me, but I also often feel week and worn out, and ask a lot of “Why me?”

I believe strongly in choice, and I gather a lot of strength from it. I believe that this world is orchestrated by the Almighty, but that we can choose how to deal with it. I am often asked how I get through the challenges in my life, and it comes down to a simple answer . . . I make a choice. When my Rozie was born with Down Syndrome, I cried, and then I made a choice: as they were wheeling me to recovery, I said I choose not to shed one more sad tear over the way G‑d has made my daughter—and that was the best choice I ever made. I know you’re thinking, “It’s not so easy”; well, it is, and I wish I could give more deep insight into it, but it’s about choosing A or B.

I am often asked how I get through the challenges in my life When I became sick (diagnosed with chronic lymphocytic leukemia), I also had a choice. I could cry and become depressed and spend a lot of time in bed, or I could live, really live. I’m not interested in hanging out in bed all day, so the choice was easy.

So, am I a pillar of strength? A righteous woman? No, not in a million years. I am a mom who makes choices all day long, hard and easy choices—and so can you.

What choice will you make today? Are you going to have a hard morning with your kids, or do you choose not to? Are you going to scream at cars in traffic, or choose to let it go?

What choice are you going to make? I made a choice . . . I am not going to let things in my life worry me right now. I am going to bask in the glow of my health, because I feel like a firework! I made the choice.

Sheva Givre married mother of three. Was born and raised in the beautiful desert of Arizona and in recent years moved to Baltimore, MD. She is the author and photographer of the inspiration blog, My Shtub, where she photographs and writes about the joys and challenges of family, motherhood, and raising a child with special needs.
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MariaC Redmond, WA July 23, 2011

Very Inspiring! I gain strength from your strength. After facing one debacle in life after another, I have come to view of life as you do. As long as G-d is in control, we'll be fine at the end of everyday. So my choice everyday is to live renewed and refreshed. Reply

Anonymous Las Vegas, NV July 22, 2011

Making Choices Thank you. I, too decided to not let things get to me. I was getting ridiculouly mean with my grandchildren. So just this Monday, I decided not to let little things irritate me. Your article helped me to see that, yes we do have a choice. Why not make the one that will bless instead of curse or hurt someone. Again, thank you. Reply

Yehudis July 22, 2011

Wow! Powerful words. Thanks for writing this. Reply

Yitz Pittsburgh, PA July 19, 2011

thank you I also am practicing making choices- whether to be angry or irritated or not, whether to get enough sleep to function well or not, whether to look at all or any part of life positively or not, etc. I appreciate the reminders! Reply

ruth housman marshfield hills, ma July 19, 2011

Strength It takes an enormous amount of personal strength to make choices that refuse to block the light, as you have, in your life.

Strength reverses dark thought, finds the silver linings, and it seems you are doing this, again, and yet, again. It takes strength to turn adversity around, as you are doing, with such dignity and truth. If you were to weep we would understand.

That silver lining is real.

Children with Downs bring joy. Sickness can act as a push to move forward, to enjoy every drop of life that is gifted, and that's a blessing, to see the world in this way. Same but somehow, different. Precious.

Sometimes we need to stop to smell the roses. Are those who do not stop, who are in such a hurry, better off, to miss that sweet fragrance, that slow mo unfolding of rose petals?

Life often stops us in our tracks and then it's when we truly see, in depth, something that was hidden, that can be truly
an opening, a window into something more...
The hidden face of G_d

You shine! Reply

Sharon Samtur Rio Rancho NM, USA July 19, 2011

Choice call David Slater of "Healer's Who Share" in Colorado (google the website). He is a friend of mine who is a healer and cured himself after being diagnosed, a number of years ago, from Leukemia. Refuah Shleimah Sharon Samtur Reply

toini windhoek, namibia July 19, 2011

Sheva, you are so inspiring. May Hashem keep giving you strength day by day Reply

Eula Irene Bunting RFD, IL / USA July 19, 2011

Making choices Thank you for these words of encouragement I need them so much. Our lives are quite the same and so different also. You have showed me that I can overcome and keep trying even when I don't think I can. Pray, ask for stregnth and keep going and rejoicing that I have made it through whatever it is that I need to do. Thank you for sharing. Reply

Anonymous Costa Rica July 18, 2011

beautifu! Sheva, I found your article very inspiring. indeed you are a very strong woman, and I am sure this will help women to be better mothers.Your words will help me to dont look back, just to go forward for the good things the right choices can bring, Thank you very much. Reply