Shabbat

Today is my birth. This is the first time I will ever observe Shabbat. I’m anxious. I smoke. I’m fearful. What will life without my smartphone be? I am excited. My rabbi said relax. “Return the world to its Owner.” How profound.

I think about the world’s Owner. Will He help me when my lungs scream for nicotine? Will He share a Shabbat with me alone? Will He care that it is a struggle for me, that I live in a home that is not observant? Will He wipe away the tears of doubt and unworthiness?

Shabbat. Giving the world back to its Owner. One day I don’t have to worry. Giving it back to its Owner. One day I don’t have to answer the phone or an e-mail. One day to study, to daven, to praise. Giving it back to its Owner. One day to pray and pray and pray. No interruptions. No worries. Leave those for the other six days of the week. Tonight I am giving it back to its Owner.