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When Two Different Cultures Marry
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"You married a white boy!" a high school pal exclaims in an email after discovering my wedding photos online. I groan. Later, my grandmother peers into my husband's blue eyes while watching our wedding DVD and repeatedly asks me, "Why did he marry you?"
18 Comments Posted
This was beautiful.
And I SO believe in your message. If there's a will, there's a way. It might be harder, but you can do it.
Thanks for the inspring article! I'm sending it out to my friends!
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Your story just goes to show that when faith is the cement, the most unlikely couples can have happy, fulfilled marriages!
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Dear Mrs Hausman,
Whenever I read your submissions I stop what I am doing and soak them in. It is wonderful to see a Jewish woman of color showing the world that what is important is the Judaism, not color, not class, nor culture but the thread that joins it all. Thank you for your contribution. I look forward to more of your articles.
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This was a lovely story, and one which should be the standard by which the world exists. Acceptance, love, patience, tolerance, communication, education. As one who is just coming to learn about her own Judaism, I can understand what all of this means. I think this should be shared with every married couple, with every individual who looks at differences as being threatening, with every child who points to someone who looks slightly different. And I thank you for sharing this with me.
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it is really nice to read this kind of story. i am working on my giur (conversion). and you just has inspired me more!!! ¨el camino es el judaismo y por ende el final es EL ETERNO.
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I just loved your story! I am also a convert, my dad is white American and my mom is Mexican. My husband, an Ashkenazi Jew whose family originally came from Latvia and Poland, and I have been married over 26 years and have succesfully combined our mutual backgrounds. Our home is a weird combination but it is a Jewish home and works for us and we are very happy.
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thank you for sharing this beautiful article.
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I always wondered how that would work on Shabbat if I ever married an Ashkenazi. I am Puerto Rican and cannot stand gefilte fish, or whatever you call it....I thought they were saying "filter fish".....uck. I guess you need to have a sense of humor to handle small differences. Nice how you brought him to your people and both seek to understand each other. Enjoyed your story.
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I can relate to you on so many different levels my husband and I both met in NYC. He is a sephardic Jew and I am of Colombian descent. Along with are many travails and frustrations due mainly to miscommunication, we love eachother and more important our faith in Judaism. I am a convert and he is an israeli, who was born and raised in Israel. We have a lot of differences in culture, language and everything that is secondary. But what is really important, two people who love eachother and faith, is what unites us.
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What a beautiful story! True love can see us through anything.
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Wow, this hit so close to home. I have NEVER met someone that I have been able to identify to closely to. Thank you for sharing your experiences, it brings me hope that my future husband and I will have a happy and successful marriage despite our cultural differences because in the end we do truly share the same beliefs and value of Judaism which guides us in how we live our daily lives. Gracias de nuevo!!
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Hi Aliza
Keep it coming.I so enjoy reading your articles.I went to shul for the first time and I cannot explain it.As the songs were being sung I did not know the words but my soul hummed the tune right along. I felt so welcomed and my son asked" please take me back again soon".He connected with the children his age and he felt the spirit of G-D dancing all through the service. Thank you and kep it coming.
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If your husband is an Ashkenazi Jew (which you implied), then he is not an "Eastern European Mutt". Ashkenazi Jews have surely intermarried on occasion, but they are a distinct ethnic group with distinct genetic signatures that are easily identified through simple DNA testing.
I have done the testing myself and have read a ton of research on the subject. Your husband is descended from the ancient Hebrews, as are all ethnic Jews. To call him a "mutt" is disrespectful to our heritage. Check research by Behar, Semino, or any other reputable geneticist.
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If your husband is an Ashkenazi Jew (which you implied), then he is not an "Eastern European Mutt". Ashkenazi Jews have surely intermarried on occasion, but they are a distinct ethnic group with distinct genetic signatures that are easily identified through simple DNA testing.
I have done the testing myself and have read a ton of research on the subject. Your husband is descended from the ancient Hebrews, as are all ethnic Jews. To call him a "mutt" is disrespectful to our heritage. Check research by Behar, Semino, or any other reputable geneticist.
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Aliza, your story was a pleasure to read. Your writing brought us right into your heart and your home--may Hashem bless you with ever increasing success in your marriage, your writing, and whatever else you choose to pursue.
Your communication-in-marriage tips, enclothed in how you describe your growing relationship with your husband work for every marriage. Even between two east coast, Ashkenazic background, ba'alei tshuva types -- there's so much of what you said that applies here as well. ("hey ya'll" vs "yo" -- we can chalk up many of the differences to Long Island vs. borderline southern upbringing!)
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Dear Aliza,
Thank you so much for this article. As an Ashkenazi Jewish Social Worker who has worked in Chicago's Hispanic neighborhoods, I can appreciate what it is like to straddle two different cultures. Your children will be enriched by their exposure to both of them. Please consider teaching them Spanish. It will open many doors for them. D-os te bendiga.
Susan
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Que bien, chica! I am from Argentina and often wonder how this will affect the future of my future husband and I...and when I read what you wrote I realized....the right one will be ok with it and be accepting and caring. Gracias....B'H!
Bella
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