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 | We went back to the psychiatrist and she saw right away what it really was. My beautiful, brilliant, funny, compassionate son was literally climbing her bookcases, screaming like a wild animal...
70 Comments Posted
This is a beautiful article & it was so brave of you to write it.
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Debbie, thank you for sharing this moving piece. It will surely serve as an inspiration to many. May G-d continue to give you and your family strength and blessing.
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Thank you Debbie for your poignant story. The Child & Adolescent Bipolar Foundation at www.bpkids.org is a source of information and support for tens of thousands of families who struggle with this illness just like you. I welcome all who live with (or fear) this illness in their children to join us to learn, share and develop strategies to help "get their children back" and regain new levels of wellness.
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G-d Bless You. Hopefully other readers will find hope and comfort in your story. Yes, G-d does challenge us. Yes, with FAITH in G-d everything is possible. I know this for a fact myself. Keep your FAITH in G-d all things are possible. G-d has challenge you and your family for a reason. To help others with a similar situtation. Keep up the great work. G-d has plans for you and your family.
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Thank you for this article on a topic that has so long been taboo. We have adopted a child with Reactive Attachment Disorder, another type of mental illness, and your line about becoming proactive really moved me. When I can be proactive, things work better.Support and infromation sharing from other parents in the same boat has helped even more then therapy at times. Thank you so much for sharing. G-d seems to be making use of you to help others.
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I also have a bi-polar child. It seems to have improved a bit after adolesence with the proper meds, and he now is a member of the armed forces heading to Iraq. He does seem to still feel things very deeply- his extremes are just that- he is aware of it.
I pray that Hashem gives you the strength to get through these tough times. Thank you for breaing the silence around this topic.
Hazak U Baruch. (Strength and blessing)
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Debbie, thanks so much for your article. I see so much of my son through your eyes. My son is now 21yrs old. We have endured years of BiPolar disorder. I recently had to listen to someone tell me that there is "no way" your son was diagnosed at 6yrs old. Yes, "way", it is TRUE!!! Ben has just graduated from community college and wants to further his education. We have been in a CRISIS mode for the past several months when his meds were changed for health reasons. It is like starting over. And I do mean OVER. It is again as if he is 6yrs old. It was hard enough to go through the first time, but to do it again?!
This broke my marriage up years ago and my significant other isn't too caring, even though he endured mental illness in his marriage with his wife(ex).
I will definitely check -out bpkids.org for some insight. Thanks again for your article.
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Thank you for this article. I am Bipolar and I know that for years I was asking myself, "what is wrong with me?" I went into a deep funk and the rabbi's wife took me to the state mental health institution. After waiting all day, I was finally seen. I was diagnosed and after about 18 months of trying to stabilize they finally found a cocktail of meds that worked. It is a constant struggle to stay stabilized.
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"educating the community about mental illness and help take away some of the stigma" actually means taking away some of the ignorances, assigning a stigma is one.
I do not assign "stigmas," validate or abet anyone who does. I recommend the policy.
Instead I ask people to describe specifically what they experience. Sometimes it is simple rudeness, and apologies are in order, and sometimes it is ignorances, and education is in order.
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Thank you so much for challenging that old cliche that Gd never gives us more than we can handle.
For example, Gd has given your son more than he could handle. If you had not looked up when you did, he might have succeeded in killing himself--the ultimate statement of "I can't handle this"!!!
And there are adults who commit suicide, and surely many times it is because they have got more going on than they can handle.
And you yourself have a husband, a support group, a school, and other resources. You do not have to handle it all yourself. It certainly would be more than you alone could handle! I congratulate you on what you have achieved, and commiserate with you for what you are going through, of course! You have done phenomenally well. But this situation is too much for one woman all alone. Thank Gd you have a husband and other resources!
So I hope in the name of heaven that people will please stop chiming in that cliche.
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I see around that G-d chooses special people to raise sick children. We have a very difficult "Shlichus", (mission) but we will make it. Our son has bi-polar disease. He started at age 14. Now at 39 he is stable, but we had very difficult times. He works , but is not ready to commit to start a family. With faith and prayer we hope to see him married. let's daven (pray) for Moshiach-Now!!!
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Amazing article! I have already forwarded it to parents whom I know will gain from it immensely.
Thank you for sharing your story.
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Thank you so much for sharing your struggles...I am sure this article will provide validation and information to so many mothers. May Hashem bless you and your family with so much strength to deal with this tremendous nisayon.
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Dear Debbie:
Reading your article I relived my experience through the harshest years of my son´s illness. If I could be part of your support group from a long distance, I would be happy to do so. There is so much I could tell you.
Never give up. There is hope. Hashem has answered our prayers, and my son is doing very well now. He can be the compassionate, intelligent and wonderful person he always was, but could not be, because of the horrible illness.
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you perhaps have days of wanting to run and not look back...however, you can't . It's not who you are...I'm not a trained counselor. I am, however, a consultant...working with women in crisis( I founded a non-profit. ) Some like your Son.
I'm from this small town...the lack of education is like that of a third world country. I loathe it! yet... I stay...Because what little I can do, hopefully, helps. No one wants to know about mental illness. I refuse to allow community leaders to sweep this one under the "Carpet". Mental Illnes is NOT a shame. It's a Health challenge just like heart, asthma or cancer.
You thank G-d that you have resourses for you Son. Down here, I'm working hard to try to help the community to over come ignorance. NOT to create, on top of Mental Illness, drug addicts!
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Thank you for being so brave and open with your son's story. I raised, and am still raising two boys with a dual diagnosis of Asperger's Syndrome and Bipolar Disorder combined. I was a single parent to these two children who were extremely difficult to manage even on easy days. Their behaviours and personalities made them stand out, and we got responses from strangers that were often unkind and derisive. I became an advocate for them, often educating ignorant strangers about their disabilities. We have come a long way as a family- they have not lived at home for years- they are strong young men in their early 20's now, working on becoming well and a useful part of society. They both posess charm, innocence and a sparkling wit, and are two of the most loving souls I have ever met, who are clueless about matching socks and underarm deodorant. G-d Bless both of them. G-d Bless you, and give you strength, with your boys.
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Excellent article, very informative. Thanks for sharing your story and how you have handled the challenges of raising your son.
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Has your child been tested for food allergies or sensitivities? Allergies are usually thought to provoke only a visible physical response but some very commonly cause behavioural problems. They would certainly contribute to the problem. G-d bless you and your children.
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I was very surprised to see this great article about Debbie's son. Our youngest son, who is going to be 22 soon, was not diagnosed with borderline Bipolar until he was 16. We had years and years, from the time he was about 4, of rage fits, suicide threats, terrible school problems, and no support. It was extremely difficult to get the right help from Doctors or Psychiatrists. We tried to hide this from our families, because of the stigma and the reference to poor parenting they'd make. I've had my own serious health problems through all of this, and constantly prayed for strength, wisdom, the right help, and patience. Its been a long long road, but our son got his GED in 2004, and has been attending a Community College full time since 2005. He made the Dean's list last semester. This is a child who was in 4 different middle schools at one point. Medications have helped greatly, but yes the side effects are frustrating. These children are very bright and special.
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Your article touched and helped me and I needed it right now. I have a teenage daughter and my husband whom I think have a mental disorder. I think my daughter is bipolar. Unfortunately things have not worked out as well generally though there have been "breaks".
I found it helpful to feel I was not alone in facing such things or in how I was reacting and thinking.
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Thank you for sharing a story being repeated all around the country.
And from a mother whose child also was born with this "difference", I want to say that it can... and often does... get better.
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Some parents can't handle it. They put their children into institutions. Others can't handle the shame of putting the children into institutions, and so keep them at home to be cared for by paid helpers, who keep leaving and being replaced by others. Some parents simply can't handle it no matter what they do.
Thank Gd you have been able to handle it. But do not say that Gd never sends these children to families that can't handle it. Child welfare services records are full of parents who can't even handle a healthy child. Some people can't handle much, but they are sent plenty anyway. Three kids, out on the street because the parents are high on drugs, and child welfare puts the three siblings into three different homes. Because their own parents could not even handle being alive, much less taking care of a child.
Some people can't handle it. Thank Gd that you can.
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When children learn that they can get their way through various forms of demands, such as tears, then they employ them. Drugs will sedate your child, but they will never let him use his energy to his full capability. Try to prevent him from draining you. Send him to his room. Have something with goodness there that strikes awe in him that he can study, such as a book, or a stimulating source. Let him cry. It may hurt your soul, and your ears, but you must master him before he will accept you as a superior. To master him he needs to have something to occupy himself with until humbling occurs. If nothing else, compliment on his ability to cry so loud for he will be strengthening his voice as he cries. Loud resonant cries are the result of proper vocal technique. Allow him to break his toys, and play with broken toys. Through breaking, one learns how to fix.
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My heart beats with yours. I, too, raised a bi-polar child, who has become a most extraordinary young woman. The countless struggles, schools (kicked out of three), and deep unhappiness of this girl, with her utter belief and faith that G-d heals, has turned her world around. I still see her inner struggles as she maintains her balanced demeaner, and very generous spirit toward others. The advice I've always given to parents of difficult children is help them find their art form. Often these kids are brilliant artists, they just need to find thier outlet for expression. That is not the panacea for serious mental illness, however, but it is a beginning.
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Craig - I think the author tried that. It was obviously not the solution....
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If you send a child to his/her room, be sure there is nothing destructible in the room, because that child, for sure and certain, will destroy it if s/he possibly can.
And I do not mean only toys. Windows. Walls. Plaster ceilings. Ceiling light. Carpeted floors. Curtains. Bed. Mirror. Dresser. Desk. Or a belt to use to destroy the child's own life...
Are you sure you want to send that child to his room now, Craig? Not so easy after all, is it?
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Ms. Orkin presented a very realistic account of what it is like to live through this nightmarish illness.
As a parent of a bipolar child, I felt like crying when I read her article.
The Orthodox community needs to "wake up" and open their hearts and minds to provide support for the parents and children who are suffering with mental illness.
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Thank you for your comment. I myself am caught in a nightmare family situation of generational mental illness though I am sane myself. I do find it so very hard to keep on keeping on well enough in some ways, when it seems that I must keep "shameful" secrets and find from myself the extra means to cope, often alone or outside the orthodox community.
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www.chabad.org/therebbe/article_cdo/aid/1275/jewish/On-People-with-Special-Needs.htm
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I am a bipolar adult and I thank you for writing this article. I was a horrible child and my older brother was diagnosed early on as schizophrenic. You could only imagine what my parents went through raising us. They did an amazing job. I never got diagnosed until 5 years ago after years of suicide attempts and 20 years of drug addiction. Your son is indeed a lucky boy that he got diagnosed now and doesn't have to go the route of so many bipolar people without medication. G-d bless.
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Debbie,
A friend forwarded me this aritcle and I found your story very moving and insightful. I have learned much about the disorder recently becuase of two different girls that I dated - one of whom I was engaged to - who had the disorder. One thing I have learned is that if you understand the disease, and understand why certain things happen and how they can be prevented, it is poosible - depending on the serverity of the disease and if the meds seem to work, it can be controlled and a person with BP can live a decent life. But the key is getting oneself educated on the illness and what it is really all about.
Debbie, may G-d give u all the brachas (blessings) u need to deal with this matter.
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Better sooner than later. And, I should not need to say by the laws that a five year olds are to have toys that are safe to play with even if they break. From personal experience, my mom always said, "You weren't happy unless it was broken." In maturity, the knowledge I gained through breaking toys possibly helped me understand materials better than anyone else I worked with.
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Thank you for your excellent and candid article, and for the helpful resources within it. I have emailed you separately with more details. May Hashem (G-d) give you much Koach (strength)!
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Thank you Yaakov for this link - www.chabad.org/therebbe/article_cdo/aid/1275/jewish/On-People-with-Special-Needs.htm . It is about what the Rebbe said and it is worth reading. It is very wise and compassionate and helps the obtaining of a good viewpoint..
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Your welcome Rosemary!
BTW here are some more articles:
www.chabad.org/search/keyword_cdo/kid/12511/jewish/Mental-Health.htm
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Thank you again, Yaakov. I needed those links :) . They are like lifelines.
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I must say as a Mother of 6 with one bipolar
that so many do not understand a child with bipolar.
Often comments like Craig left "Try to prevent him from draining you. (HA! that's good advice!!) Send him to his room. Have something with goodness there that strikes awe in him that he can study, such as a book, or a stimulating source. Let him cry. It may hurt your soul, and your ears, but you must master him before he will accept you as a superior." Come from a COMPLETE lack of understanding what it is to raise a bipolar child.
I have 5 other delightful, helpful, calm, sweetly obedient children and 1 that even at the age of 4 talked of wanting to know what it was like to die and would try to jump out of the moving car. We don't watch TV and have no idea where these ideas would come from. He is a very bright child but watch out when he is not!!
I don't have the answers but I do know one thing for sure~what works with our other children NEVER have worked with him!!
Blessings
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My diagnosis is bipolar. I was delusional that I was great, until a boss let me work to my full potential. My arrogance attenuated with the increased workload, though it only lasted until I gained mental superiority and again I became haughty. I became displeased with myself, as I found my ideas founded in reason were not understandable, having no one to receive them. Yet, mental illness is a poor description, as one doctor's bipolar is not bipolar to another doctor. Perhaps, you son has a different type of bipolar than mine, as there are many ways to merit the diagnosis.
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www.chabad.org/library/article_cdo/aid/697668/jewish/A-Different-Perfect.htm
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Pediatric Bipolar manifests itself entirely differently than adult bipolar. There are specific characteristics/symptoms for adult bipolar disorder in the DSM IV Manual, which is the manual that mental health providers use to diagnoses and coding.
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Thank you for this article. Both of my brothers (identical twins) had severe mental health issues growing up and neither has turned out very well. So much so that when I was pregnant I was terrified that I would bring a child like them into the world (they never received proper care due to attitudes that you can't diagnose bipolar and schizophrenia so young). So far (at 4) my son seems OK, but reading your article has given me faith that even if he does develop issues that I will be able to advocate for him and have a different outcome. Thank you for giving parents a head start on where to turn and how to handle things - I certainly feel more at peace after reading your article!
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Hello there i have a daughter they have told me she is border line bipolar. they first told me she was adhd put on ridlen. then they said it was behavioural. she is threaten to kill herself. and running away. i live in canada and not sure where to turn to next.
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I suggest you got to www.bpkids.org This organization deals specifically with pediatric bipolar through education, articles, online support groups,etc. There is a link to the Family Response Team where you can fill out an online form and someone will contact you to help get you on the right track to helping your child and your family.
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just a further suggestion, you may want to look at a book called the ByPolar Workbook - should be abale to find it on Amazon or the like. I thought it was very informative for someone trying to learn about BP.
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I can relate very well to what you've written; I have a beautiful 23 year old son who has schizoaffective disorder - bipolar type & is very resistant to medication. He and our family have been on this 'journey' for over 3 years now. He was an all-around happy & healthy boy all the way thru high school and started getting symptoms after his year in Israel., which often occurs at this age. Altho this differs from your story, the shock & heartache are overwhelming & probably universal for parents. I admire your strength and being proactive; I also need to get more support for myself & the family. I agree with what you said about strengthening your emuna and looking to G-d for comfort and hope. It's a constant challenge and test. Thank you for writing. With best wishes for blessings and mazel and continued strength.
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I have a 20 years old son that was diagnosed with BP disorder at the end of Febraury. His manic episodes occured mainly because he couldn't sleep for days because he was in a stressful situations. He is taking 40 drops a day of a product called "life essence" which is a food suplemnt that can help people to have a balnce in their body and brain. He is also taking one medicine for mood control and so far he is doing well. He has started Psychotherapy and my wife and I will do too. According to our neurologist and our psychiatrist, this therapy can change the way he think to avoid either manic and depression states. Praying every day is also very important in our lifes asking G to keep our son healthy.
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As politely as I can say...you don't know what you are speaking about. I would of said something like you...years ago.. When not sane their eyes switch and they are not THEM anymore. I know it is from lack of knowledge from which you speak but frankly then DONT SPEAK. Again, until it happened to us I would not of understood. As trite as this sounds you would not send someone with a heart attack or diabetes to there room. Chemicals in the BRAIN are just that.
Debbie I know you from online and your article was amazing.
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Thank you very much, I appreciate it. I am not sure who you are, but email me privately if you wish.
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I was moved by your story. A life on a perpetual roller coaster, never sure when the big dips are coming! We too have been challenged by mental health in our family- a situation that I have never adjusted too whenever I think that I am O.K. I realize that I am vulnerable and fragile in the wake of uncertainty. Mental health is a silent disease that leaves us feeling isolated at times because we have no one to share with.Our experience is that extended family do not provide support, not because they do not care but because they have no understanding of the day to day emotional struggles that leave us at times so drained and deplited. Remarks such as ' we would be more strict, create more bounderies' leave us feeling insecure about out parenting skills, but awaere that we are not parenting a 'normal' child.An added confusion is some days are really good and we wonder if it has been a fabricated story on our part. Lastly the drain on the siblings is huge!
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My oldest son age 19 was recently diagnosed with BP2 D.O. It took me since last february to get him any kind of help.....There are no words do describe any of this. My too inteligent, too gifted, too kind, first born is someone else now.
Well, the adventures continue in life. My second son has Type 1 diabetes since he was 3yr. He is now almost 18yr. Weve lived in rural Alaska with many of the usual challenges. This medical condition is complicated by the fact that other services are needed however not easily afforded or available.
Another new learning curve......
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I felt heartbroken and reassured reading your story. I am Bipolar. I saw four different mental health professionals before one finally decided to fight the rule against diagnosing adolescents and children with bipolar. Until he could get my diagnosis approved, I couldn't get my medication. I feel the terror in your writing, and I am proof that there really is hope. If you can help him make it to adulthood, he can not only survive BUT THRIVE from there on. I am a wife and mother who is working on my psychology degree. I have seen many people succumb to the feeling of being alone and crazy. If you always let him know that no matter how crazy he may feel, that he isn't alone, he will be able to learn to love himself. That is the biggest challenge for bipolars, we have to remember to love ourselves first. Help him love himself and he will one day be able to love others with a fierceness that cannot be matched easily.
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Nice to read that I'm not alone out here, we are not alone.
My son 7, too has a mental illness that 4 psychiatrists have all diagnosed differently. I have heard ADHD, Bi-polar disorder, Obsessive Compulsive disorder and finally Autism Spectrum Disorder, only because he can't be correctly diagnosed so young. At age 3 I finally broke down and said yes to medication. We tried all the ADHD's which only made him more hyper. I tried Risperdone for about 2 years until last summer we switched to Abilify. I finally realized it just wasn't helping at all and stopped all meds. The last Dr. said there were no other medications to try.
My extended family has been "supportive" to the best of their ability, which I understand we parents think is minimal compared to what we deal with on a daily basis.
My heart goes out to all of us and I too believe G-d chose us as parents for a good reason. We are special parents and should remember to be thankful for what we have, each and every day, love.
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My son is 8 and is bipolar I am at a loss of what to do these days. One min he is so happy the next he's trying to hurt anyone he can in any way he can. We are trying so many different drugs I feel bad giving him He doesnt sleep at night. He has good and bad days at school. I don't know what to do anymore. I need help. I just want him to be happy. :(
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My 8 year old daughter was diagonosed with bipolar disorder about a year ago. I am having trouble finding a support group or therapist that specializes in pediatric bipolar disorder in West Palm Beach, Florida. Can you please help me? I am trying to do this on my own, and I just can't do it anymore. PLEASE HELP ME!!!
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go to www.bpkids.org That is the website for the Child and adolescent Bipolar Foundation. You will find that you are not alone. It is free to join and you can join an online support group, get doc info, medication info, etc.. There is a subgroup called Family Resource Team you can be contacted by a parent volunteer to help answer your questions and get you in a good direction. You can mention my name. Take care, glad you enjoyed my article and hope that it was helpful.
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My challenging son whom I loved & love immensely has become a young adult & is thriving. I am reminded of what Carol in Sparta said in October. I always saw his beautiful soul & now everyone else can too. It was different once. I had to protect him many times as his difference was definitely not appreciated.
What "worked" to bring this wonderful young man through all the difficulties of his childhood & youth?
I think what certainly was needed was respect, acceptance, love, accomodating his special nature & needs, and carefully & gently explained & given consequences. And sometimes I had to go and protect & teach him, however needed. I refused to medicate him, seeing life as presenting tasks for him to master & having faith he would succeed. One needs a long range plan & determination.
My best advice came from a doctor who said to choose carefully what my son was to try & then to act as needed, including letting go of expectations.Within reason, I let my son choose.
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I have a son that is in many ways like yours I haven't had to hospitalize him yet even though I should have many times. My son at four yrs old told me that he was going to kill me and then his brother and also himself. I treied to get help but everyone said he was normal four year old. I was so upset with this that it told him almost getting hit by a car infornt of his school that his doctor finally made appointment with physt and they made a medical disn of ADHD and ODD and Biploar he was six years old. Today he goes these periods of just hating me. I to this day dont know why he will not talk to me it's like I am someone that really hates most of the time.I am now a single parent his father doesnt help at all just gives into him.I just feel so alone no one in either side of the families wants to admit there is anything wrong with him. My youngest has other health problems and is also having to deal with this because the oldest is always hitting and hurting him.I completely understand
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I am bipolar, by 10 I had made it clear to my mom that i wanted to be dead and that I was actively trying to injure and kill myself, she did nothing except to tell me to be quiet. If i had a violent outburst she would just lock me in my room until it was over, at no point making any attempt to get me treatment.
Finally at 16 i was too big to be physically controlled and locked away when i was having an episode so she would call the cops on me instead and have them take my to away, i was lucky i had friends to take in on these days
Finally she got so fed up with this that she dropped me off at a hospital and gave custody of me to my aunt. It was under the custody of my aunt i was originally diagnosed with authoritative disorder, obstinateness defiant disorder, ADHD, and Bipolar and received medication for my symptoms for the first time.
ur already trying so hard to get ur kid help, ur sticking by him, you actually care, i wish my mom was like u
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I find comfort and strength in your story. I teach middle school students in a public school setting and some of them have bipolar discorder. Challenging is putting it lightly. I can only imagine being the parents. I think it is wonderful that you can be there for other parents and have created your support group!
G-d bless all of you!
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My daughter was first hospitalized when she was fourteen. When she was in first grade a boy was making fun of her and she punched him in the mouth, and knocked him down. He was in fourth grade. She is now 19, and is currently in the hospital. This is the 19th time that she has been in the hospital.
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One of her daughters seemed to have gotten it, but the other didn't. Her mom taught her early on to give herself time outs when she was feeling burnt out, and I never understood it. When she would be aggressive (this is as a toddler even), I would say, "Oh, where, oh where is my honey bear? I only see my grouchy bear." She'd hide under the blanket and say, "GO AWAY!" I said, "Ok, but if you find my honey bear please tell her I love her and miss her." Then, I'd leave. After a while, she'd come out and I'd hug her and say, "I'm so glad I have my honey bear back". But, of course, she'd pull away from me and say, "NO HUGGIES. NO KISSIES. LEAVE ME ALONE." (She pronounced it as Yeave me ayone). Her mom did horrid things to me, including stealing, screaming, hiding my asthma inhaler, etc. My son is now separated from the mom and the bipolar child went to live with the mother, and the other child is with my son. The girl who left us doesn't want any contact, and I do miss her. Much.
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Thank you for writting this story I think my 7 year old has bipolar he cant take no for answer and flys off the handle his screaming and yelling can last up to hour untill he calms down.He is in grade 1 this year and he goes from being okay for a week and then the other week he acts out at recess time he is attacking childern and its only getting worse the school is suspending him the next time around they have gave him chances .I meet with the school and he is on the waiting list for help but I am also going to find him a doctor.I can not take him shopping if he wants something and I tell him no he has fits in the store.He attacks his 5 year old brother.When he was 2 years old he was biteing other kids and I was told that he would just grow out of it.I thought it might be AdHD so i got him tested for that turns out he didnt have that.I Found out his father is bipolar so after reading this story It really opened my eyes as to what my son might have.
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Also, my heart goes out to you. However, there is one statement I hear as an ongoing thread on all the Chabad sites... It is, G-d gave me this challenge (disaster, calamity, terrible situation) and SO he will also give me the strength to go through it. In the psalms, it says G-d is my rock and refuge. It doesn't say G-d gave me evil things, mental illness, disasters. It just says G-D IS my strength. So, you wrote, "if He gave us our situation, He can also give us the means and strength to deal with it.". I would personally NOT blame G-d for the bad things that happen. Particularly in the case of mental illness of any sort, because G-d created Mankind in HIS image. G-d does not have mental illness, right? So, He didn't create it in us. What He did was to put into motion physical laws and give humanity the job of caring for His creation. Did we, down through the ages? No. We have poisoned our air, water, earth, food, etc. WE have added chemicals, and changed our biology.
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My son has autism and in the past has been violent, had strange sensory issues, urinary incontinence, and only slept 4 hours a night. These issues have been resolved through diet. He was medicated(risperadol and clonidine) and no longer requires medication.
He has a problem with food dyes, preservatives, pesticides, and other toxins. He happens to be very sensitive, but I believe a growing number of children are. My son's basic diet is organic vegetables, quinoa, flax, and organic coconut oil. It is astounding to me still how much what he eats affects him.
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I'd like to follow that diet myself and see if it helps with my own emotional swings. Thanks.
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My 7 yr old son was diagnosed with bipolar about a yr ago.when I got that news i felt like a failure,like a bad m.other.i felt like it was my fault. I tried therapy for him a bunch of different meds but nothing worked.He was even hospitalized.I didnt want to give up on him but i was exhausted by all of his outbursts and episodes. he always says everything is my fault and that i cause him to be angry and also blames my 12 yr old daughter. he constantly says hes gonna kill her or hurt himself.I dont know what else to do.I have no support from his father(who doesnt live with us) He just makes excuses for his behavior and is ignorant to the fact that something is wrong.I wanna do something before its too late and he ends up doing something horrible to himself or someone else..please help..any advice would be muchly appreciated and well needed...
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Where does it end? My son is now 23 and we still have the occassional outburst when things don't go according to his perfect plan.
I am at my end.
I have 3 beautiful 10 year old triplet daughters who are living this nightmare right along with me... it just seems so unfair...
he refuses to admit he has a problem and refuses medication.
He was into drugs and alcohol but has come clean for the last 3 years - but still, the unpredictable temper is too much for us to handle. What do we do??
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Get him away from your daughters at all costs. Even if it means having him committed. If you do nothing, what if one day he has an outburst and hurts your girls or you? Or, commits a crime? He must be held accountable for not taking his meds. I live in a senior building and the other day a bipolar neighbor began screaming in the halls. I opened my door to ask if she's ok and she let out with a torrent of angry, hateful words and racial terms. She then tried to burst into my apartment, so I had to close the door practically in her face. How is your son going to become independent if he has no control over his emotional imbalance? So what if he isn't into drugs and alcohol any more (as far as you know)? What kind of therapy have you been getting for him? You might need something stronger.
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The similarities in this article to my own life are startling. My son started showing symptoms when he was 3 1/2yo. He was diagnosed with many different diagnosis . At 5 he was admitted to a psychiatric center and stayed for 6mo. That was when he was correctly diagnosed as bipolar 1. He tried to hang himself by taping a slinky to the wall and wrapping the other end around his neck. There was also a collection of knives hidden under his bed because he was going to kill me when I was sleeping. I would sit up all night in his doorway, every night, because he couldn't sleep. He is now 10yo and we are starting to deal with prepubescent changes. He just came home after a 3wk stay in a psychiatric hospital. I've come to realize this is a life long illnes, which helps me deal with it a little better. I am close to being fired from my job for the time I have to take off for him, and the stress I continually deal with (I am a single Mom). I continue to be strong FOR HIM!
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It must be financially hard for you as well. When I was a teacher of special ed children, I was given forms from some of the parents who were trying to get social security disability for the children. After signing that they were, in fact, in a special education classroom, they were able to get the extra money. Please ask around to social workers, etc., to see if you can get this help with medical costs. Actually, I didn't understand why little kids could get these monies, but now I see by your posts why. Medicines, doctors, and psychiatric centers all do cost in one way or the other. As you said, they also cost in time you have to take from work. I'm sorry you don't have a supportive husband, Vicki. Statistically, when a special needs child is born into a family, there is a high incidence of (usually the father) leaving from stress, and also the marriages shatter when blame is thrown around. Take care and be strong. Keep communicating. Sometimes, that may seem like gold.
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