I am having a very hard time as the holidays approach with teaching my children the beauty of Chanukah and not having them see it as a Jewish x-mas. I know it has become somewhat of a tradition to give children gifts during Chanukah, but is this really a Jewish custom?
12 Comments Posted
Dear Unwrapped,
We have 8 days of Hanukkah! We party for 8 days! The non-Jewish kids in our neighborhood, actually come over to watch our lighting of the outside Hannukiah, where we publish the miracle of Hanukkah. They especially like coming over for the last night, when all the candles are lighted - They love it! I have gelt for ALL the kids, and they are actually jealous that my son gets 8 gifts, one for each night of Hanukkah!
After we light the Hanukkiyot candles (Hanukkah Menorahs), we read the Hanukkah reading from the Torah for that day of Hanukkah, then he gets his gift.......so Torah first, gifts after;)....So start some fun exciting Hanukkah traditions in your house! You may find that your childrens' Jewish and non-Jewish friends want to come over to your home, because it is so much fun!
Chag Hanukkah Sameach! Happy Hanukkah!
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I used to work at a musical instrument shop in a mall. As the Winter Holiday Season approached, a coworker said to me, "I was going to get you a gift, but I heard you were Jewish, and I didn't want you to be offended." Forgive me for perpetuating stereotypes about our tribe, but I can't resist a good Jewish joke. I said to her: "Offended?! Are you kidding? Jews love free stuff!" Then I gave pretty scarves to her and the other ladys at the store. I said, "Happy Holidays!" without specifying theirs or mine. I felt it was more important to be neighborly than to argue about religion.
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I was raised in a college town where we all had parents who were liberal, assimilated college professors, and where we went to a Reform temple about once a quarter and for the high holidays. Married a modern orthodox man who didn't like the idea of big gifts on Chanukkah. I persisted, since it was 'tradition' in my family.
Last night the neighbors came over because they wanted their children to learn about Chanukkah. After my husband lit our menorah, I bent down next to my son and two boys about his own age, and asked my son to tell them why we light candles. I was expecting something about big battles and swords - he is a five year old boy, after all.
What I got was "Every time Daddy lights a candle, Mommy gives me a present!"
So what I've learned is no matter how many times you talk about the meaning and play Ma'oz Tzur, children - especially young ones - only listen to your actions.
Next year, we'll be doing books and gelt :)
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Now is precisely the time to stand apart, or else - what's next? - put the presents under a tree???
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Children love gifts. They whole face lights up. I always said No gifts, but in the light of the kids' faces i have changed my mnid. Let the children have gifts. It will give them happy hanuikah memories.
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- if this was a website just for women, but it's a Jewish website also. Children's faces may lit up also if we let them stay up until 2AM, or let them cross the street right where they want it, or maybe if we give them an action/restricted movie or a cheeseburger! What are we telling our children that Chanukah is?
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My husband and I will be dinner guests at a friend's home in honour of the first night of Hanukkah. As non-Jews, we are honoured by the invitation.
We would very much like to give a hostess gift that would be appropriate to the holiday. Can you suggest something?
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Some friends give my son a historic coin every year, Starting with a 1948 Shekel, this year 1944 Indian rupee. As he gets older, he can learn to appreciate the history behind the coins and how he fits into history. The rest of my family exchanges gifts at New Year. Hispanic Catholics exchange gifts on Jan 6, Epiphany to commemoray the gifts the Magi brought; Christmas being a solemn event. It seems to me that holding a absolute No Never stance can get in the way of creative problem solving, throwing away opportunities to help our children learn to live with dignity and respect in the multi-cultural reality of our world.
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how about a nice Jewish inspirational book? there are many options out there, you can find suggestions at chabad.org/store
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How about a bottle of Kosher wine? Or Kosher sparkling cider? Most supermarkets carry "something". Kedem being the most popular brand and averaging around $5 a bottle. If you live in a large Metropolitan area, you will have more options. A small boquet of fresh cut flowers or a houseplant are also always nice on any occassion...no one is expecting you to whip up a traditional holiday dish/dessert to bring over. A sedaka box with a few coins in it or a card showing a pledge/donation to their temple/shul or similar charity in their name would also be appreciated. Money gifts should be given in denominations of 18 . A box of fancy shabbot or chanukah candles is also an idea. I'd be pleasantly surprised and delighited by any of these if a guest brought them!
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DO give Hanukkah gifts. FUN gifts. Blocks. Non-battery-operated trains. Dolls. And, no, it's not traditional. Give gifts anyway, to children. Not to adults. Except your own children and grandchildren. DO GIVE fun gifts, like Jewish books and CDs, to your own children and grandchildren. And be sure to include Hanukah chocolate gelt as a decoration on the package or in the pretty bag.
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We gave our son a coupon to get out of one chore each night. We have been feeling like Chanukah is getting too much like Christmas any way. It should be a time of rededication. This year our son decided to wear his tallit more and participate in morning prayer more. This I am proud of.
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