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 | Everything you wanted to know about Mikvah but didn't know to ask.
56 Comments Posted
I am impressed by the depth and richness of this article by Rivkah Slonim. I've never tried a mikvah before and I was thinking maybe it's too late for me, but now I see it in a diferent way. Maybe I will contact someone and ask for it. I really enjoy the article. Thank you.
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Rivkah Slonim has written a very warm, yet intellectual, article which entwines both the physical and spiritual realms of the Mikvah. This article should be recommended reading for anyone who wants to find that special meaning in ritual purity.
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We need brilliant Jewish women to represent our women's Jewish-Torah issues, thank you!
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I do so appreciate Rivkah Slonim's essay. It is accurate, deep, rich and provocative. This article should be especially recommended to couples planning their wedding.
Shalom!
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I am a non-Jewish woman, but was curious about The Mikvah and so a friend forwarded me this article by Rivkah Slonim. I found it very interesting and I think it is a beautiful and wondrous act that brings women closer to their religion more than anything else I have read about Jewish life. Thank you for writing such an insightful article.
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This article is truly well written. The information is given over in a way that anyone, no matter what level of observance he or she may be on can benefit.
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I learned a lot about the reason for mikvah. Have always judged it until today.
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Mi native language is spanish. I do not speak english well. I liked very much Mikvah narration. I am not a jew but I remotely believe my ancestors had some link with sephardic people. They were born in El Salvador in Central Anerica. I really enjoyed the Mikvah article.
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After reading this beautiful article, I can see that we women actually have our own special, unique place in Judaism and it is OK to be a woman after all.
Thank you so much for sharing this with us all.
B'H'
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Can a women who has an ileostomy still take Mikvah?
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I was most interested to read your article on Mikvah and several others at your site. I thought I had found a good source of knowledge about your faith until I read
"In stark contrast to Christian dogma -- where marriage is seen as a concession to the weakness of the flesh, and celibacy is extolled as a virtue -- "
This is so blatantly untrue and also unnecessarily disrespectful of another faith that I began to question the other information.
Please think carefully about making these extreme and unfounded comparisons which only serve to divide and cause conflict. They certainly cast doubt on your veracity and knowledge.
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Just wanted to post that I read the article with great enthusiasm and came to a screeching hault at the quote which the previous post aso commented on. I read this site daily, to better understand my faith which is Christian. Unfortunately that view of marriage in the Christian faith is utterly false and a posture perhaps maintained by a minority of churches (I know of none personally). If anything marriage is a sacrament encouraged to bring one closer to G-d if one submits to His guidance. Please be careful with statements. thank you. Keep up good work Chabad.org, I love you guys!!!
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I thoroughly enjoyed this article. My husband is Jewish and I am not. I have felt we are missing so much because I am not Jewish. I am Morman, and we are married almost 40 years.
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Immersion in the mikvah to me is symbolic of everythings contsant recreation. As we immerse, we reabsorb into the waters of creation, and when we arise, we are inherently re-created in our original divine form, free of the defilement of mundane existence.
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Regarding this contested statement about Christian views of sex and marriage... I was raised Christian and have since converted to Judiaism, so I feel I can speak well for both sides. Jews really do have a more positive attitude toward sex and marriage. It is true that not all Christian groups see marriage as this quote portrays; however, these old attitudes DO still exisit.
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I am non-jewish but started reading about the jewish laws and history to help me understand better the English translation of the Old Testament. While reading this article I was filled with such wonder. Thank you for this beautifully written explanation about the purpose of marriage between a man and woman and about the "possibility of return-to start anew." I plan to share this with my son, my grandchildren when they are older, and other members of my family. Thank you.
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The traditional Catholic view on marriage is contrary to what was written regarding the Christian view of sexuality. Rather, it was practically identical to the Jewish view, in that sex between husband and wife is absolutely sacred and should involve total giving of self to mirror the love G-d feels for each of us.
Traditional Catholics also practice Natural Family planning, which involves a period of abstinence and courtship similar to what was described as part of the Jewish mikvah purpose.
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I am a Lutheran pastor and a woman very interested in sexuality and spirituality. St. Paul does indeed describe marital sex as a concession to weakness. Puritanism, which weaves its way throughout most of American Christianity, in particular, aligns itself closely with the Pauline view; much of the rest of Christianity does not, at least not on the matter of sex. The real mystery is where Paul/Saul, a devoted Jew, developed such a notion, and how it found such currency within Christianity! It gives my very soul a sense of violation to view sexuality as somehow tainted in its essence.
I am grateful for this article and find this site very interesting.
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The path to tshuvah (return) can seem very strange. It is erev Rosh Hashanah, 9.21.08 and I found 2 life changing things online. First, a picture of my daughter at age 13 receiving a dollar from the Rebbe z'tl and I find here, that even though I left chassidus for two decades in the secular world, toiveling (immersing) a final time is permissable. I had been told by a mikveh attendent in Brooklyn, since I had not been using the mikveh when my menstruation ended, I had no right to use it--verbatim. She said, 'dont reinvent Jewish Law for your needs.' I was crushed at her words and feeling already isolated and unworthy of being in the community, I accepted her statement. The thought of passing away without toiveling is actually very upsetting. I am doing tshuvah and this is such an essential part for every woman. Thank you for this information.
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Your mikvah lady's harsh words don't entierely take into account the reality of ceasing menstration. Most women only know they've had their last menstral immersion after the fact... and it's not as if that's the only reason for a woman to immerse. yeesh!!
It is unforunate you encountered her. I'm happy for you that you've found renewal despite it all.
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This article was fascinating and very informative in terms of the significance of the mikveh in Jewish women's lives. I realized I had pre-conceived notions about the mikveh before reading this article, and thought that it was a cleansing ritual in a physical sense. I also thought that it was done as a result of a woman's mense being seen as dirty, when that it is not the case at all. It is cool to see that a woman's mense can be seen as part of such a sacred process and as a woman it makes me happy to see that this exists. In American culture, a woman's mense is often seen as dirty and should not be talked about (much less reflected upon) and indicators of which should be hidden. I am obviously non-Jewish but I am learning a lot about Jewish Law and other aspects of this culture, lifestyle, and religion and this article was very well written and explains the mikveh and also how it relates to spirituality and sexuality.
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Very interesting article. However, I am still not sure if I can buy into the whole concept of a woman being impure during her menstrual cycle. Without menstruation, one cannot bring life into the world. I feel it shouldnt be associated with death but with life. I did, however, like the idea that the separation between the husband and wife brings them closer together as if they are newlyweds again each month.
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There are other ways to read the niddah & tumah: as a non-ordinary state of being, elevated due to a woman's awareness of herself during this time, reflecting the rythms of nature (most other reproductive creatures have time of activity and rest), it goes one and on. The book Total Immersion has essays which cover a wide range of interpretations and help one arrive at one's own personal understanding of this time. HaShem outlined the practice in Torah, but did not dictate an interpretation. Every woman's understanding is as unique as her relationship with HaShem.
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Thank you for this informative and beautiful article. I never deeply understood how sacred sexuality was and the union of husband and wife being Holy. I had tears flowing down my cheeks while I was reading your article, personnally truly moving and healing. I also laughed because English people calls menstruating "the curse", as for me and my daughters we celebrate womanhood. When there's Kvetching in my house I know what's going on! There is no Mikvah near where I live, as much as I would appreciate this in my life and for my daughters but it is not doable unless I'd drive for 7-8 hours down to Toronto and 7-8 hours back three times a month. I don't want to move to Toronto we own our pharmacy here and I like the Atv trails. Thank you, Father, for the many reminders around us of Your greatness and Goodness. Accept the Praise of our hearts.
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As moved as I was I can't turn off my brain In the:. "and the affixing of a mezuzah on the doorpost" it should read "doorposts". This is just because I spent years with only one mezuzah at the front door, I've missed the "s" at the end of doorposts. I never want anyone to miss that one, not on my shift.
Thank you.
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I just read Celine's post, can Rifka or someone with accurate knowledge in Law clarify what a woman does when she is so far from a kosher mikveh that toiveling (immersing) is not possible (in her perception, there may be women who would make the trip) It's easy to tell someone 'move!' Is any natural body of water permissable under such circumstances?
Celine, if you are in a congregation, you might consider gathering the women and discussing how to raise funds etc for a mikveh. Jewish law states that a mikveh takes precedence over building a synagogue-the root of all that is holy and good in Judaism rests in the sanctity of the Jewish woman...I should have been saying this to myself for the last 2 decades, but perhaps it will fall into someone heart and heal her.
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Hi
I'm someone who is not Jewish (Protestant) but fascianted by Judaism and it's rituals and wnated to learn more. This is well written, interesting and very informative...Thank you!
By the way you mention in Mikvah, "Today it is not just a Jewish metropolis ......In remote, even exotic, locations- Anchorage, Alaska, and Bogota, Colombia; Yerres, France, and Ladispoli, Italy; Agadir, Morocco..."; hey how about Mumbai, India-
Keneseth Eliyahoo Synagogue in Mumbai has had the only recognised Kosher 'Mikvah' (in India) for the past over a hundred years and people from Asia would come and make use of the 'Mikvah’.
There are 3 synagogues in Mumbai.
And given all the religious tension in MUmbai, how about this:
The Magen David Synagogue has on campus the century-old EEE Sassoon School. “Presently there are 550 students, about 98 per cent belonging to the Muslim community,” says Solomon J Sopher, managing trustee of the school.
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Being that this is a topic which mostly unspoken of, especially since I am recently married and never knew that Jewish women go to mikvah each month, I feel very grateful to have been able to read this and gain some amazing insight into the mitzvah of mikvah and into the timing of mikvah! Wow! It's a part and parcel of Judaism. You see, for me Judaism was always what I knew as a child and nothing more than that. It's hard for my mind to accept that somethin ELSE is and has always been a part of Judaism! When I head towards my date of going to immerse, I think of my friend/s , still unmarried and I thank G-d for enabling me to act with this mitzvah! Thanks
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Would like to have more informative information about post-menopausal immersion and what should be gained from this experience as compared to women who still menstruate. What can be gained from ritual immersion in a mikveh at this time in life. Please provide more information.
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Margot,
MIkvah immersion offers ritual purity and ascendancy in spiritual level to the one who immerses within its waters. While in her child bearing years, a woman is bidden to immerse monthly after her menses before reuniting with her husband in physical intimacy. A woman continues in this cycle until after her last menses.
For the post menopausal woman who did not , for whatever reason, visit the mikvah on a monthly basis when she was younger, one last ( some times it is her first and last) immersion , even years after her last menses, is her opportunity to make her marraige centrifugal- to bring G-d in as senior partner. After her immsersion all subsequent intimacies are thus consecrated and blessed.
As stated in the article, this one immersion coupled with sincere feelings of return to G-d, can also retroactively impact the souls of her children and even granchildren. If you sitll want more information please ask in specific manner so I can address your areas of interest
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Toda Raba for this article. It was very informative and useful.
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I am a Christian who came upon this website after reading in my newspaper about a woman who looks after a mikvah.
I found your explanation of the mikvah rituals to be very moving and life affirming.
I think secular society could learn a great deal from the reverence and dignity these Jewish rituals give women and female sexuality generally. Far from being oppressive, they honor a woman's body and incorporate spirituality into every part of her existence.
I've learned a great deal from this article thankyou very much.
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Yet it's not like a man-made ritual because this is based on Torah. So if Torah is life, then everything that emmanates from it is life giving and llife affirming.
This article actually brought tears because I was able to see the destruction that I brought upon my relationships with women. I have learned a lot about equality and respect in Torah and Biblical commentaries (or at least Torah-based) between the sexes, and the powerful dynamic that exists among a marriage and Hashem as the head of that relationship. The view that the writer here shares is so powerful, and it's almost like I learned something entirely new. Many thanks to her and I really respect someone that holds relationships in such high regard. It's no wonder why marriages and relationships fall apart. Knowledge and wisdom like this really demonstrates my deficiencies in many areas of my life, especially relationships.
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At least, none that I know of. What is done in these cases?
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karen,
Frist find out if there is a Mikvah in a town over from you . You can visit www.chabad.org to search for closest Mikvah to your home.
You can also use a natural body of water for this purpose. It's best for you to discuss this with someone knowledgeable who can guide you in this.
Try looking on Chabad.org for closest Chabad Center to you and ask to speak with the Rebbetzin.
If you are not successful please write back to me in this forum and we will connect via telephone.
Rivkah Slonim
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This info is from the chabad.org centers part of the site. If there is no mikvah at this Chabad House they will know where the closest one is.
Address: 3579 Arlington Avenue Suite 100
Riverside, CA 92506 USA
Phone: 951-222-2005
Web: www.JewishRiverside.com
Rabbi Shmuel M. Fuss
Mrs. Tzippy Fuss
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I assume this is done by the Rabbi's wife? Also, does a woman who is past child bearing usually do a mikvah?
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Because I am not of the Jewish faith, i do not know much about it. In a television program it was referred to and I was curious so I looked it up on the internet. I was quite surprized but also informed what this tradition means to Jewish people.I have always been interested in history and how it affects how we live today. This article has made me even more inquisitive so I will seek more information about the Jewish religion. Thank you very much for the information you have already provided.
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>>>Immersion ... can be understood as ..the conscious suspension of the self as an autonomous force....a desire to achieve oneness with the source of all life..
This is exactly how I am anticipating my first mikvah, about to occur next week. As I descend the seven steps, I will consciously let go of all attachments to who I am, borrowing from the Chakra system to systematically walk myself away from my personal awareness of physicality, sexuality, creativity, empowerment, love, wisdom and even from spiritual awareness itself. I do not know what I will experience after that, and I welcome this not-knowing.
My intention, on exiting the mikvah, ascending the steps, is to remember to walk into the visual veritcal manifestation of the Hashem name - yud and hey and vov and hey. Since the letters portray a shape similar to the human body, it seems a fitting way to return to reclaiming my self, and one not requiring conscious thought.
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I am grateful for your article. I am reading and learning about Jewish rituals, customs, etc. I am a Christian but realize that we are one new man, and want to be obedient unto G-d.
Thank you again.
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THANK YOU so much for this information. I wish everyone here in America would know this. I never realized that there were even Jews IN India!!!! Thank you.
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Saw and went into an ancient Mivah while I was in Israel. I appreciate the greater understanding of this article! thank you!
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How many stairs are to be built in the Mikvah?
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Some mikvaot are deeper than others, so the number of steps needed depends on how many are needed for safe decent and ascent. Some use ramps.
Mikvaot must be built with the participation of a person (rabbi) who knows the subject. In normal areas building a mikvah is not a do it yourself project, even if you normally build swimming pools.
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What about someone who can't go up or down stairs?
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Mr. Sager,
The number of steps used to access the mikvah pool is simply a matter of practicality; how deep or how steep is the decline into the pool?
There may be some mikvaot that were built to accommodate a certain number of steps that has mystical symbolism but for the most part it is simply a matter of pragmatics.
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Section V
"When stripped to its essence, a woman's menses signals the death of potential life..."
I've used 4 midwives in 4 locations, domestic and abroad.
Each calculated the birthdates to be forty weeks from the first day of the last menstruation. One commented that there must be death/shedding of blood before a birth.
I wonder about the spiritual implications of sacrifice and blood.
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Are there formal classes for one to learn how to become a Mikveh Woman and, if so, can you point me in the direction of how and where to look for the classes.
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Learning to be a mikvah lady is a relatively simple class, usually only a couple of hours long. When your mikvah is looking for women to volunteer, you can offer, saying that you would be happy to do it, but are unsure as to what is needed. That's how I started, over thirty years ago. I'm still at it, even though I moved to a different town.
And to all the women who have trusted me over the years....THANK YOU I have never neglected to remember that the private trust you have given me is one of the hugest compliments I could ever receive.
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Dear Mrs. Rivka Slonim,
Thank you verry Much for You Wonderfull, Enlightning and Supportive Article (read The Article by Susan Handelsman beforehand, also very Interesting and Heartwarming!
I am already since awhile Intersted and fascinated by The Mikveh and have Collected quite a few Articles and Notes. I Downloaded your Ariticle, (Lesson), iand that By Mrs. Susan Handelman in what we call "Favourites". You Made My Day. Many Greetings (I live in The Netherlands, S'Hertogenbush).
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II am in awe after reading this article and all the comments on this subject. I am a christian woman and found your article inspirational and deeply spiritual in it's affect on me. I had never heard of Mikvah and it's centrality in Jewish family life and relationship. I am in such awe of our Loving Father, who gave such provision to the woman. It saddens me that more women know not the loving attention given by G-D concerning what so many women think is a curse. It makes me wonder about the way women now a days, no matter what or how, want NO menstruating in their life as this is such an annoyance!! This has to be such a grief to G-D!! And blatant disobedience to the Heart of Hashem for us to be fruitful, let alone denying the very essence of being female! It was interesting the note of the lady whose midwives arrive at the birthdates of children to be from the 1st day of the last menstruation and that shedding of blood has to happen before a birth We are fearfully and awesomely made!
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Are you implying that the water in itself has any capacity to change the man? I assure you, bathing in all the Mikvahs in creation wont do a thing for your soul.
The blood of a heifer is used to purify, but if you drink that blood, you "ruin" G*d's day. Notice that even if you don't get filth on the outside, it forms on the inside, even if we feed on pure vegetables and water.
NATURE IS NATURALLY IMPURE. We see purity when the Word of G*d redefines nature.
No procedure can 'make' G*d cleanse or purify a soul. So if the procedure does not purify a man's motives and heart, they are of no real function but to keep us busy.
Even after G*d has demonstrated that evil, sin and impurities have no power to keep Him away from us, some people don't realize. Even the Prophets testified " Take words with you and return to the LORD. Say to Him, “Take away all iniquity And receive us graciously, That we may present the fruit of our lips."
I guess some people just prefer it the hard way
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If your menstral cycle is long then by the time you wait an additional seven days you will have passed your fertile days and you will never have the chance to become pregnant and have a family of your own. This would have been my fate had I followed the rules of the mikvah.
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Amala,
Thank you for writing with an important and relevant issue. I would much prefer communicating with you in more private forum as this issue is multi- faceted and I am happy to provide you with practical resources. You can obtain my personal e-mail address by writing to this site.
In most general terms, you are not the only one who has experienced this vexing challenge. Take heart and know that there are a number of very effective ways to deal with this issue. Some women have success with alternative healing methods, others use medication which successfully addresses this issue. Still others need more specific medical intervention but the issue is resolvable. I cannot agree with the assessment in your post!
I would urge anyone dealing with this issue to consult both a Rav and a medical practitioner. In tandem they can help you.
I wish you every success and look forward to hearing from you or anyone else who is facing this difficulty.
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Christians don't see marriage as merely "a concession to the weakness of the flesh" and "celibacy" the only virtuous path. (Yes, St. Paul made that reference, but he also saw marriage as a "great Sacrament"--a mystery of love.) Marriage is a Sacrament, whereby the couple may help each other on the path to holiness, with supernatural help from the Lord. The virtues needed for married life have been written about by countless Christians. You should know better than slander Christians with a demonstrably false statement.
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