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Searching and Fearless

Searching and Fearless


"These are the accounts of the tabernacle… which were counted at Moses' command…."—Exodus 38:21

This week's portion relates how after completing the construction of the Tabernacle, Moses made a thorough audit of all of the materials that were used. The purpose of this tally was two-fold. First, Moses took inventory of the resources donated to the project – the gold, the silver, the fine cloth and so on. Then, he accounted for how each of these materials was actually used.

On a personal level, each of us has been assigned with the mission of building a sanctuary for G‑d in this world. Each of us brings certain resources to the task and each of us is to be held accountable for how we make use of what we have been given. In other words, when making a home for G‑d, self-knowledge is not enough. It must be followed by accountability.

Self-knowledge is not enough. It must be followed by accountabilityIn Step 4, we are enjoined to make "a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves." The purpose of this inventory is not only to be able to identify the character defects that we wish to have removed, but also to become aware of our assets. A truly honest self-appraisal will reveal our positive qualities as well. As someone once put it, "It's not called an immoral inventory."

It may be said that the difference between a character defect and a virtue is in how it is used. Each of us has been given unique characteristics. When those traits are channeled toward the service of G‑d, they are positive. When, however, our G‑d-given character traits are in breach of the purpose intended for them by the Creator, they become liabilities. The purpose of an accounting, therefore, is to discover not only what we have been given, but how we are using what we have and whether or not that use is in line with G‑d's will for us or our own. If our inventory is comprehensive and followed by action, we will have made ourselves ready to receive the Presence of G‑d.

Rabbi Ben A. is the most famous anonymous rabbi. Using his pen name, Ben A. draws from his personal experience in recovery to incorporate unique chassidic philosophy into the practice of the 12 Steps.
The idea of this article is based on the teachings of the Lubavitcher Rebbe.
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Anonymous San Francisco July 26, 2015

Thank you for posting So glad to see fellow Jews on the recovery journey and how Jewish concepts/themes are so in line with the steps; in this case - Cheshbon Nefesh. I've been looking into how Tikkun Olam and Tzedakkah can inform my outlook on being of service to my fellows which is very much part of step 12 work. I love this, thank you so much for posting. Reply

EL atl, GA March 10, 2010

Searching and Fearless - Pekudei when I did my step 4 and give to my sponsor all the layers of fear,embarrassment,etc I was able to understand Hashem and welcoming him as my real father.
I felt a new human been. I felt that I was born again.

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