Parshah Recovery
Leaving Self to Find Yourself

"Go from your land, from your birthplace and from your father's house to the land which I will show you"—Genesis 12:1.

This week's reading begins with G‑d's command to Abraham to go forth from his birthplace and travel to the land which would eventually be given to him and his descendants. On a deeper level, this narrative describes not only Abraham's geographical relocation, but tells about his spiritual journey of self-discovery. Implied in the words of G‑d's command is an instruction to Abraham that he abandon every aspect of self—and be willing to become something totally unknown to him.

Here is how the verse may be interpreted, in the context of a spiritual journey:

"Go from your land..."—The Hebrew word for land, eretz, shares a common root with the word for will, ratzon. G‑d told Abraham to surrender his own desires and leave self-will behind.

"...from your birthplace..."—G‑d also told Abraham to abandon all of his traits that were a product of his environment and conditioning—all of the effects of his 'birthplace.'

"...from your father's house..."—In Kabbalah, the capacity to generate new ideas is called 'father,' because the potential for insight is the progenitor of feelings and behavior. Thus, G‑d told Abraham to leave his intellectual pre-conditioning behind, and allow himself to grasp an entirely new way of thinking.

"...to the land which I will show you..."—G‑d did not specify to Abraham where he was heading, but only told him to leave where he was. He would be shown where to settle when he got there. There he would be shown an entirely new way of being.

For many of us, recovery from alcoholism and addiction has meant a discovery of a new self; but first we had to be ready to let go of everything we thought that made us who we were.

We need to examine the story of Abraham for inspiration and instruction—for our stories in recovery have followed this same pattern. Like Abraham, we had to leave our will, our habits and our mode of thinking behind. Common sense dictated that if were we to remain our old selves, it was highly unlikely that we would not return to our old using behaviors. We needed to seek G‑d's help in changing ourselves (Steps 1-3). We even mustered up the courage to face the truth of exactly who we were (Steps 4-5). We even agreed that we were not just giving up alcohol—but most everything about our desires, our conditioning and our way of thinking (Steps 6-7). We were ready to let go of everything that made us who we were and become someone completely different. But, like Abraham, we had no idea where we were going and what we would become. We simply trusted in G‑d—that it was He who was guiding our path. After forsaking all that was known and comfortable to us, He would help us to arrive at the destination He had planned for us.

As we continued to follow the Steps, we found ourselves changing. Nature abhors a vacuum, and wherever we had pushed out our old self, G‑d came rushing in to fill the void. We slowly began to recognize our new selves, our true selves—an optimistic, confident and humble soul who could live life without the bottle or the pipe.

This amazing process of self-discovery also mirrors the journey of Abraham. "To the land which I will show you," may also be read "to the land where I will show you." So, it is not that G‑d just shows you the land; G‑d takes you to the place where He can show and reveal yourself to you. The bold venture into the unknown culminates with G‑d showing us who we really are. In order to get there, we need to pay attention to His call -- to leave behind everything we thought we were.