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"A man who takes a vow..."—Numbers 30:3.
Everything in this world was created for a purpose, namely, to be used in the service of G‑d. When we make use of any one of G‑d's creations in a way that conforms to that purpose, we elevate that object, place or situation from the ordinary to the sacred.
The exception that proves this rule is that G‑d has placed prohibitions on certain things and told us not to make use of them. While the norm is that whatever exists in this world exists so that we may elevate it through reverent and mindful use, there are some things that we are incapable of using to serve G‑d. To engage ourselves with them would only drain us, thus for our own benefit, G‑d has declared them off limits. However, all that G‑d has permitted in this vast world can and must be used for a higher purpose.
Many people think that we recovering alcoholics look down on alcohol, but the very opposite is trueIn this light, it should come as no surprise that, in principle, the Torah disapproves of vows of abstention. If G‑d, by rendering something permissible, has indicated that something is able to be used for His service, then it is not only our privilege to make use of it, but our obligation. By refusing to engage in an experience that G‑d has permitted, one shirks the responsibility of elevating that which has the potential to be elevated.
Yet, as we read in this week's Torah reading, the Torah does provide a framework within which to make such vows. If 'swearing off' is generally discouraged, why then does the Torah tell us how to do so?
For those who have forfeited their ability to make productive use of one or another of G‑d's creations, the answer may already be obvious.
Abstention from that which is permissible to other people is a humbling admission of defeat – "There's something in the world that G‑d created for a purpose; other people are capable of using it for that purpose; I cannot."
Our recovery from alcoholism requires that we forbid to ourselves that which G‑d permitted to all other men.1 Consider the fact that if there were no redeeming purpose for alcohol, G‑d would have forbidden it outright, but He did not. Other people can and do use it productively. For us alcoholics, however, the only way for us to serve G‑d through alcohol is by respecting its power and acknowledging that, for us, it is beyond our reach.
It is interesting that one of the standard verbal formulas for pronouncing a vow is: "May such-and-such be to me as if it were a sacrificial offering." What is the meaning of this expression?
When one designates an animal to be a sacrifice for the Temple, that animal may no longer be appropriated for personal use. It becomes 'set apart' and 'holy' (which in Hebrew is actually the same word). Similarly, when a person makes a vow to abstain from something and to 'set it apart,' he concedes to its 'holiness.' He denounces his right to make use of that thing because he acknowledges that its power is too great for him to effectively utilize.
Many people think that we recovering alcoholics look down on alcohol, but the very opposite is true. No one respects alcohol like an alcoholic. We know all too well of its power. We have set it apart from our lives precisely because we realized that its power is beyond our ability to bear. And in so admitting, we came to realize that G‑d has a different purpose for alcohol in our lives – as the embodiment of the truth that we must rely on a Higher Power and give ourselves over to His loving care.
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Latest Comments:
thank you for sharing this understanding so that others may come also to a place of understanding within their heart, for often it is those closest to us that find this topic hard... to allow a person to understand the need to abstain for their own well-being and purpose. peace be with you
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Thanks Rabbi. I understand it works for some people but AA in my opinion needs to do a moral inventory and admit it is not the only way and not brainwash people into thinking they will fail or are mentally/emotionally defective if they have their own minds, as that is what constitutes a cult. I found an invaluable tool which is not taught at AA called addictive voice recognition technique which is brilliant. As a member of AA you won't like it as it is based on planned abstinance rather than on a day at a time, but it is worth knowing about if you don't already. www.rational.org
Anyway, I really appreciate your time and your love and support, I guess the bottom line is that we don't drink however we do it.
Have a great day, it is cold, wet and grey here in London, which is why there are so many pubs here! Thanks again.
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Tycho, brother. You told me you were a "problem drinker." From those words, I will be so bold as to assume that drinking is causing you problems. So stop drinking.
If you are like me, then your answer will be, "I would if I could." Or maybe even, "I would if I wanted to, but alcohol is just as much a solution for me as it is a problem. I just wish I could separate the problem part of the bottle from the solution part."
I thank G-d that when I was ready to admit I was an alcoholic, I had a friend (a very pious and spiritual non-Jew) who took me to my first meeting. Everything I heard there was remarkably consistent with what I already knew about spirituality from my studies as a rabbi. I immediately embraced the program and, thank G-d, was not plagued by doubts. I saw it working in others and in myself. I recognized the truth in it and didn't really care who thought it up or figured it out.
I'm not dismissing your concerns but, personally, I really don't care what "most people in AA" believe? (And who knows if my impression of what that is would even be accurate or reflective of AA as a whole?) I follow the program of AA because it works, not because I believe Bill Wilson to have been divinely inspired. In fact, to the contrary, what makes AA so compelling to me is that it comes from man and not from G-d. It is the product of trial and error. When I want divine revelation, I have the Torah. When I want tried and true advice based on the practical experience of other alcoholics, I go to those other alcoholics. Simple as that.
Do what you gotta do. If AA doesn't work for you, or you wouldn't even want it to work for you because of ideological objections, then move on and look for another solution. Nobody is telling you that you need to work a 12 Step program. All I can tell you is that I do, and that I am immensely grateful for the tools it has given me, not just to stay chemically sober, but to achieve emotional sobriety.
I am praying for you (and I don't mean that in a condescending, holier-than-thou manner but in the same way that I pray for myself) that G-d will guide you to the solution that works for you. You have my love and support.
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The 12 steps were taken directly from the oxford group and yet most people in AA worship Bill Wilson and believe he wrote them down after some 'divine' revelation when infact he stole them from a Nazi sympathiser. I take issue that we are all lied to in AA about this.
Moreover the 12 step concept was never intended as a cure for alcoholism. It was intended as a cure against sin for believers in social christianity.
You mention Jung, who it is well documented in his own words, was pro-nazi and anti-Jewish. Also, do you seriously think Rebbe HaNosi would advocate the 'positive' aspects of Hitler?
As a Jew I always question things and want to know 'Why?' You may accept without question if it works for you but please spare me the Mercedes analogy. The failure rate in AA is huge irrespective of how well you 'work' the program and many people simply quit on their own for good and not 'a day at a time'.
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Tycho,
Thank you for your openness. I hear what you're saying. Let me just say -- not as an answer or a counter-argument, but just as a response:
The Talmud says that Rebbe Yehudah HaNosi (the author of the Mishnah) learned things from the Roman Emperor, Antoninus -- not just secular knowledge but spiritual concepts. A Roman Emperor no matter how great a guy he may have been, was certainly connected to all kinds of idol worshippers, anti-Semites and other shady characters.
I know about the Oxford Group connection to the early development of AA and I know about Buchman's politics. AA is not the Oxford Group and at the end of the day, it is really irrelevant to me who Frank Buchman was or what the Oxford Group was all about. Did the AA co-founders have Oxford group connections? We know that they did. Did they get many of their ideas from the Oxford Group? It is obvious that they did. They also got ideas from the psychologist C.G. Jung and the doctor William Silkworth of Townes Hospital. Divine Providence no doubt had a hand in things too. :)
I guess what I am saying is that if I want to cast aspersions on anything and dismiss it because of some connection to something that I find worrisome or objectionable, I know how to do that quite well. It's actually part of my alcoholic thinking. Instead, I try to keep an open mind and follow the advice of Maimonides who said "Accept the truth when you hear it regardless of its source."
For me, it doesn't make much of a difference how the program came into being. What matters is the program itself. I do not see anything in the program that is fascist and certainly not anti-Semitic. To the contrary, actually. But I will leave that discussion for another time.
I respect your reservations about the program, but for me, I feel like worrying about those kinds of things is like somebody refusing to ride in a Mercedes ambulance when he needs to be rushed to the hospital.
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As a problem drinking Jew I have always had a problem with AA as it is historically a proto fascist organisation. The 12 steps are taken directly from Frank Buchman's Oxford group as a cure for 'sin'. Bill Wilson was part of this group and started AA as an offshoot to deal specifically with alcohol problems as opposed to 'sin' in general.
Frank Buchman was openly Fascist and visited Berlin many times during the 30s and was friends with many top German nazis. He was also great friends with Henry Ford, whose anti Jewish writing directly inspired Hitler to write 'Mein kampf'.
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I have found a text that seems to fly in the face of all I've ever been taught. Psalm 119:101, "I have avoided every evil way so that I may keep your Word." (JPS)
Some sects believe: one keeps the Word in order to avoid evil.
The defined choice: avoid evil to keep the Word.
Seems an insignificant play on words. Look closely, it is not!
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Freewill offerings had stipulations. It says, "you shall not offer anything that has a defect, for it will not be accepted in your favor" & it had to be w/out blemish.
Not acceptable:
- offering self--you are already His by covenant
- offering one's ability to choose to give Him an offering
- something you covet or the object of
None are according to command and are not defined in the text as blemished or unblemished.
It seems that one is free to offer a Cain offering if they desire, but they will not be accepted of G-d.
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G-d is everything, at the same time He chose to give us Freedom of Choice, therefore there is what G-d has given me, and what He didn't. And I can make a choice to give something that I can keep, away to G-d. For more of this concept search Chabad.org for Freedom of Choice
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I still to not grasp it. G-d created us so all that we have/are is His.
Where did He draw a line between what is your's and what is His? You belong to Him and He belongs to you, by covenant!
Is it a gift to you when your children, put on clean clothes, as you command, for the sabbath? What if they just could not give up their favorite shirt even though it was dirty and came to dinner Friday night in that filthy shirt? Then, one day, many months later, they finally show up in a clean white shirt as you have asked. Is that a gift to you?
Or, would it be a gift to you if they one day just gave you their favorite dirty shirt you have been arguing about for months?
In my blindness, I do not see giving Him His wine because it overtakes you or obeying His command as a gift. He created the grapes and said, do not over indulge with wine, period.
In light of my limited knowledge of G-d, I cannot grasp your point. Could you please address it one more time?
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Alcohol destroyed the man I was because I had, in essense, allowed it to become my master. I would never have become an active alcoholic had I not abused it in the first place. Once in a while I hear people say they were overpowered from their first sip. I suppose that's possible, but for most of us, it wasn't until we had soaked ourselves thoroughly that it became impossible to stop on our own.
For me, the evil inclination is toward alcohol. That's alcoholism. For someone else, it may be money, sex, power, etc. At the end of the day it amounts submitting to false gods.The things themseves are powerless idols, incapable of movement.
It is because I worshipped such an idol that I can no longer have even a flirting relationship with it. Though I beleive that being alcoholic does not mean that I am immoral, I believe the underlying spiritual illness was there from the beginning. Ultimately, it was I that deliberately, though blindly, crossed the line.
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