How virtues change! Moses, the greatest hero of Jewish tradition, is
described by the Bible as "a very humble man, more humble than anyone else on
the face of the earth." By today's standards he was clearly wrongly advised. He
should have hired an agent, sharpened up his image, let slip some calculated
indiscretions about his conversations with the Almighty and sold his story to
the press for a six-figure sum. With any luck, he might have landed up with his
own television chat show, dispensing wisdom to those willing to bare their soul
to the watching millions. He would have had his fifteen minutes of fame. Instead
he had to settle for the lesser consolation of three thousand years of moral
influence.
Humility is the orphaned virtue of our age. Charles Dickens dealt it a mortal
blow in his portrayal of the unctuous Uriah Heep, the man who kept saying, "I am
the 'umblest person going." Its demise, though, came a century later with the
threatening anonymity of mass culture alongside the loss of neighbourhoods and
congregations. A community is a place of friends. Urban society is a landscape
of strangers. Yet there is an irrepressible human urge for recognition. So a
culture emerged out of the various ways of "making a statement" to people we do
not know, but who, we hope, will somehow notice. Beliefs ceased to be things
confessed in prayer and became slogans emblazoned on t-shirts. A comprehensive
repertoire developed of signalling individuality, from personalized
number-plates, to in-your-face dressing, to designer labels worn on the outside,
not within. You can trace an entire cultural transformation in the shift from
renown to fame to celebrity to being famous for being famous. The creed of our
age is, "If you've got it, flaunt it." Humility, being humble, did not stand a
chance.
This is a shame. Humility -- true humility -- is one of the most expansive
and life-enhancing of all virtues. It does not mean undervaluing yourself. It
means valuing other people. It signals a certain openness to life's grandeur and
the willingness to be surprised, uplifted, by goodness wherever one finds it. I
learned the meaning of humility from my late father. He had come over to this
country at the age of five, fleeing persecution in Poland. His family was poor
and he had to leave school at the age of fourteen to support them. What
education he had was largely self-taught. Yet he loved excellence, in whatever
field or form it came. He had a passion for classical music and painting, and
his taste in literature was impeccable, far better than mine. He was an
enthusiast. He had -- and this was what I so cherished in him -- the capacity to
admire. That, I think, is what the greater part of humility is, the capacity to be
open to something greater than oneself. False humility is the pretence that one
is small. True humility is the consciousness of standing in the presence of
greatness, which is why it is the virtue of prophets, those who feel most
vividly the nearness of G-d.
As a young man, full of questions about faith, I travelled to the United
States where, I had heard, there were outstanding rabbis. I met many, but I also
had the privilege of meeting the greatest Jewish leader of my generation, the
late Lubavitcher Rebbe, Rabbi Menachem Mendel Schneerson. Heir to the dynastic
leadership of a relatively small group of Jewish mystics, he had escaped from
Europe to New York during the Second World War and had turned the tattered
remnants of his flock into a worldwide movement. Wherever I travelled, I heard
tales of his extraordinary leadership, many verging on the miraculous. He was, I
was told, one of the outstanding charismatic leaders of our time. I resolved to
meet him if I could.
I did, and was utterly surprised. He was certainly not charismatic in any
conventional sense. Quiet, self-effacing, understated, one might hardly have
noticed him had it not been for the reverence in which he was held by his
disciples. That meeting, though, changed my life. He was a world-famous figure.
I was an anonymous student from three thousand miles away. Yet in his presence I
seemed to be the most important person in the world. He asked me about myself;
he listened carefully; he challenged me to become a leader, something I had
never contemplated before. Quickly it became clear to me that he believed in me
more than I believed in myself. As I left the room, it occurred to me that it
had been full of my presence and his absence. Perhaps that is what listening is,
considered as a religious act. I then knew that greatness is measured by what we
efface ourselves towards. There was no grandeur in his manner; neither was there
any false modesty. He was serene, dignified, majestic; a man of transcending
humility who gathered you into his embrace and taught you to look up.
True virtue never needs to advertise itself. That is why I find the
aggressive packaging of personality so sad. It speaks of loneliness, the
profound, endemic loneliness of a world without relationships of fidelity and
trust. It testifies ultimately to a loss of faith -- a loss of that knowledge,
so precious to previous generations, that beyond the visible surfaces of this
world is a Presence who knows us, loves us, and takes notice of our deeds. What
else, secure in that knowledge, could we need? Time and again, when conducting a
funeral or visiting mourners, I discover that the deceased had led a life of
generosity and kindness unknown to even close relatives. I came to the
conclusion -- one I never dreamed of before I was given this window into private
worlds - that the vast majority of saintly or generous acts are done quietly
with no desire for public recognition. That is humility, and what a glorious
revelation it is of the human spirit.
Humility, then, is more than just a virtue: it is a form of perception, a
language in which the "I" is silent so that I can hear the "Thou", the unspoken
call beneath human speech, the Divine whisper within all that moves, the voice
of otherness that calls me to redeem its loneliness with the touch of love.
Humility is what opens us to the world.
And does it matter that it no longer fits the confines of our age? The truth
is that moral beauty, like music, always moves those who can hear beneath the
noise. Virtues may be out of fashion, but they are never out of date. The things
that call attention to themselves are never interesting for long, which is why
our attention span grows shorter by the year. Humility -- the polar opposite of
"advertisements for myself" -- never fails to leave its afterglow. We know when
we have been in the presence of someone in whom the Divine presence breathes. We
feel affirmed, enlarged, and with good reason. For we have met someone who, not
taking himself or herself seriously at all, has shown us what it is to take with
utmost seriousness that which is not I.