I'm just walking in from my cousin's wedding. (Thanks, simchas by you
too). The evening was great, mashke flowed like the proverbial,
uninhibited joy all round, and even my kids held off from kvetching for
most of the evening.
Rabbi Moshe Feinstein, the pre-eminent American Halachic authority, once
arrived at a golden wedding celebration. One of the partygoers, who'd clearly
had too much to drink, or chutzpah, and probably both, expressed surprise
that the rabbi could find room in his demanding schedule to attend such a
comparatively minor event. Rejoicing at a wedding is a mitzvah, as is
attending at a Bris, Bar Mitzva or other ceremonial occasion. Of what religious
significance, however, is a 50th anniversary party?
Rabbi Moshe replied: We celebrate a wedding to signify the potential of that
which is to come. In real life the tale is only just beginning. This event,
commemorating a shared life full of true yiddishe nachas, with real
accomplishments to point to, is the culmination of their wedding and the
justification for the happiness and joy of 50 years ago.
I remind myself of this story because I have been thinking this week of the
difference between process and results; the potential versus the actualized. The
first words of this week's Torah reading tell of the commandment to observe the
Shabbat:
Six days work shall be done... and the seventh day shall be holy, total
relaxation for G-d. (Exodus 35:1)
You've got to work to live. Paying the mortgage, school fees, and food bills
on time demands income. Though G-d, were He to so desire, could provide us with
all our needs without exertion, He set up a different system. Thus working
during the "six days" is just as much a divinely ordained necessity as resting
on the seventh.
The workaholics among us confuse the means with the method. The verse states
work shall be done -- the passive voice. Becoming so totally devoted to
one's job, such that one's work is one's total preoccupation and obsession, is
totally unhealthy and an affront to the system. You may have to work, but let
it be done. Keep your aspirations and focus on your real purpose,
exemplified by Shabbat, a day when the cares and worries of the week can take
back stage to delighting in one's family and religion.
Achieve this and the Torah guarantees you total relaxation.
When all one's cares and aspirations are on money making and business, then,
even when resting, the repose is not replete, as one's mind is still whirling
with all the worries which rob one of true equanimity. Only the person who can
accentuate the result at the expense of the process, who realizes that the
successful outcome is the true goal, can truly relax and celebrate, conscious of
a job well done and thus, justification for the entire journey.
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