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What the Rebbe Taught Me
Fake it or Break it


Following are the reactions of two leaders who faced a similar enemy: Fear.

One was gripped and stripped by it.

This was the reaction of Balak, King of Moab, upon learning of the (purported) advance of the Israelite army—the same army that had just recently defeated Sihon and Og, mighty monarchs just to his north.

Worse than his reaction is what he chose to do with it. He doled out large portions of terror to his unlucky citizens.

They were clearly scared stiffCries of "The Jews are coming!" overtook the Moabite kingdom. Rumors about the size and strength of the Israelites spread faster than the speed of gossip, leaving fear-marks in their wake.

"Moab was very frightened of the [Jewish] people…" So frightened that they "were disgusted 'with their own lives'!"1

We can detect the naked and feverish fear in their voices. "Moab said to the elders of Midian2: "Now the [Jewish] congregation will chew up our entire surroundings, as an ox chews up the greenery of the field!"3

They were clearly scared stiff. And all because of one man – their king, no less! – who couldn't keep his fear to himself.

Balak wasn't a leader but a follower, who meekly took commands from his uncontrollable heart.

Second Reaction

Back at the Israelite camp, a different mood prevailed.

Not long before, a similar emotion came knocking on Moses' door, begging to be let in. It happened like this.

"Og, king of Bashan, went out against [the Jews], him and his entire people, to do battle…"4

Og was then the superpower of the world, king of that ancient jungle.

See if Moses cared.

What potentially threatened Moses' cool was Og's merit, not his might.

"Moses was afraid to wage war lest the merit of Abraham stand on Og's behalf."5

Og had been the one to inform Abraham that his nephew Lot had been captured, which allowed him to launch a successful rescue operation. Perhaps, Moses feared, this merit would stand Og in good stead, and bring him victory…

Moses bred and spread confidence, sowing the composure that helped his people Yet instead of pouring his fear out and onto his people, Moses bottled it tightly, and froze it away. He then strapped on a face of calm and fortitude, and went around tranquilly planting seeds of serenity in the Israelite camp.

Moses bred and spread confidence, sowing the composure that helped his people win the war.

That's the story of Moses: king of his heart and king of Israel.6

What's in It for Me?

Leaders have the great but daunting responsibility of putting the people they lead before themselves, whatever the circumstance.

For better or worse, the look in the eyes of a nation reflects the look in the eyes of its leader. His or her tone is their tone. Healthy confidence is his or hers for the giving.

The same holds true for parents, teachers, mentors, and friends, who shape the futures and features of those in their care, who like sparkling-clean mirrors reflect the sight, light, and might that is shown and shone into them.

On a similar note:

We live in difficult economic times.

That doesn't mean our children have to.

It didn't dawn on a particular friend of mine that his blissful childhood was set in abject poverty until he was a grown man.

How many others are unfortunately too aware? (Some of whom, incidentally, come from financially better-off homes than my friend…)

The ramifications and sometimes long-term effects can be huge. Take this story for example:

"Of everything, I am most afraid of your fear…"A young girl from a very poor family was having terrifying dreams. Her parents consulted a rabbi about this problem. He said: "The Sages say that we dream at night what we think about during the day. Ask your daughter what she is afraid of."

When they asked her, she replied: "I often see how you both sit and worry over the poverty we live in. Of everything, I am most afraid of your fear…"7

So fake it, in order for your child (or spouse or friend) to make it.

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FOOTNOTES
1.

Numbers 22:3 and Rashi ad loc.

2.

These two nations (Moab and Midian) were previously arch-enemies, but due to the circumstances and their fear, were now best of friends.

3.

Ibid., verse 4.

4.

Ibid., 21:33.

5.

Rashi on Numbers 21:34.

6.

Based on the Rebbe's teachings, Likutei Sichot vol. 8, pg. 148-9.

7.

From Towards a Meaningful Life pg. 138.


By Mendel Kalmenson   More articles...  |   RSS Listing of Newest Articles by this Author
Rabbi Mendel Kalmenson has traveled Europe, Asia and South America, reaching out to Jews in the remotest areas. He now resides in Crown Heights with his wife Chanale, daughter Geulah, and son Dov.
Mendel is an editor at the Judaism Website—Chabad.org.

The content on this page is copyrighted by the author, publisher and/or Chabad.org, and is produced by Chabad.org. If you enjoyed this article, we encourage you to distribute it further, provided that you comply with the copyright policy.
 

Reader Comments
Latest Comments:
Posted: June 25, 2010
Moses the man of God
It is encouraging to read that Moses the man of God also had to deal with our everyday struggles. It dawns then that holy men are not supernatural but have fears and weaknesses just as everybody else. That to me means to be man of God means that it is a decision and that your goal is to live righteously. That does not mean it will be easy and that you would be absolved of live's challenges. It means trusting God to help you trough your weakness, failures and fears with your heart fully dependant on him. Does this reflect on why Moses was the most humble man in the earth?
Posted By Anonymous, Soth Africa

Posted: June 23, 2010
Such a powerful message packaged so perfectly in such appealing language!
Wow! Your talent is impressive, please use it to write as much as you can!
Sincerely,
Posted By GF



 


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