What Do You Think?
Four Reasons Why You Should Gossip

Reason #1:

The media and tabloids have taught us that it is our patriotic duty, enshrined in the "freedom of speech" clause of our Constitution, to shine a bright light on our neighbor's dirty laundry. No, there is no such a thing as privacy; your life is my life, and your mistake is my appetizer. Of course I must know why she got divorced from her third marriage, plus all the details on the custodial war between them regarding the two-year-old psycho in the middle.

In short: We spend most of our day learning from the media. And they are awesome teachers.

Reason #2:

You are G‑d's warrior. And just as G‑d cannot tolerate falsehood, so too you, as His fighter, have a moral obligation to search, find and publicize your fellow's secrets, so that he should not, heaven forbid, receive false respect and feel haughty.

In short: It's all in the name of G‑d.

Reason #3:

It is a custom amongst families and communities from way back when, that on many an occasion, especially around the dinner table, a human sacrifice is laid on the table/altar and slaughtered with verbal knifes and daggers.

In short: We don't mess with tradition.

Reason #4:

Because you never heard this story:

Rabbi Shmuel, the fourth Rebbe of Chabad, once overheard his two young sons, Zalman and Sholom, arguing in the yard. Upon investigation he discovered that Zalman had pushed his younger brother into a ditch. "What is the meaning of this?" he asked the boy.

Zalman responded: "It's not fair; I am the older brother, so I should be taller, but Sholom is taller than me. So I pushed him down, and now I'm taller!"

Said his father: "My son, if you wish to be higher than your brother, why don't you climb on a chair instead of putting him in a pit?"

So reason number four is: Why feel bad about the fact that you're not the best you could be? Why be bothered up about your faults? The easier way is to point out the negative of everyone else. After all, if he could do such a thing, then I'm not so bad after all.

In short: It's much easier to put down others than to climb up yourself.

So to sum it up: Without gossip, the unemployment rate in the media industry will hit the roof. National boredom will result in anarchy. And worst of all, people would become kinder, more honest, and the world would become a better place.

How awful.