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We’ve heard a lot about a match made in heaven, but what are the real ingredients for a healthy and happy marriage?

The Truth About Love and Marriage

The Truth About Love and Marriage

The key to a happy marriage

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The Truth About Love and Marriage: The key to a happy marriage

We’ve heard a lot about a match made in heaven, but what are the real ingredients for a healthy and happy marriage?
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Marriage, Relationships, Shalom Bayit (Marital Harmony), Love
Rabbi Manis Friedman, a noted Chassidic philosopher, author and lecturer, is dean of Bais Chana Women's Institute of Jewish Studies.
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Anonymous California November 22, 2015

Single men and women are better off than married men and women Please cite your source for this study. Reply

oscar Texas November 6, 2015

Rabbi Friedman Video's Rabbi, I am not Jewish, but i have learn with your videos enough to become one. Thank you!!! Reply

Anonymous Canada August 19, 2015

The truth about love and marriage. I so enjoyed your endearing way of speaking about this subject, you have made a difference in the way I see marriage now, especially that I have been divorced for many years and never wanted to remarry because of my experience, I thank you very much, your wife is a blessed woman Rabbi Manis Friedman. Reply

John Compton Olympia, WA March 29, 2015

Blessed Rabbi, This is a funny thing. I love your message and it is helping me a lot today. I have a saying I tell couples in trouble, "Repeat after me, 'My spouse is not my enemy'" I heard it at a conference and offer it to you. It has had a profound effect on many lives. Also, I have this as a question, Is the holy one the creator of the whole world? Has he not said, Avraham would be a blessing to the nations? When he made Israel his, do you think he wanted to say to all others, 'You are not mine'? I know I am not what you want me to be, but I ask you, is it up to me to make myself acceptable to Him? Reply

Anonymous February 28, 2014

This was wonderful ! Chuna the 3 pillars of marriage are 1. kindness 2. respect dignity 3.sanctity holiness. Reply

Anonymous January 19, 2014

love and marriage marriage is not necessary for true love...but a strong commitment is important for lasting joyous love Reply

JDV January 18, 2014

Marriage with Manis Freeman I agreed with much of what you said. a lot of people get in trouble because they confuse love with infatuation. however, Rabbi, you are very funny. have you ever thought of doing standup? Reply

Anonymous Tampa January 18, 2014

Irish What is the reference here to being Irish. You could be Italian or Irish and Jewish or Polish and Jewish. Look at the towns of Cohen in Ireland. This is mocking the people of Ireland beyond that you have an interesting teaching. A relationship with G-d is not bound by where you live but through a relationship . Reply

Chuna brooklyn January 15, 2014

We don't search for love. We don't need generic love. We need love from a husband, love from a wife, because you are mine. We demand love of ourselves to feel when we have something worthy of love in our life. Feeling love is appropriate for those important things in our lives. Loving "love" is selfish. It's not for marriage. Marriage is not a union, it is a reunion. There is a holiness to it. Like a 9 yr. old, who just says, "I want to get married!' That's what we need- A love for marriage- not for personal experience.

Marriage has 3 pillars that a prospective chasan/kala should look into about themselves. It requires:

1. Generosity. a. with your money (b/c it's expensive) b. with your space (can't say, 'take my money' but get out of my space) c. with your time.

2. Respect (you're not 'free' to be your worst, 'let it all hang out'. You must show respect to your spouse).

(Not sure what third pillar is.
perhaps it was said around 30 min.) Reply

Samuel London January 15, 2014

The true meaning of marriage This was inspirational. I was changed by what Rabbi Manis Friedman said. Forever. Reply

zeynep January 15, 2014

Marriage Ingenious as always, Rabbi Friedman; but I have to disagree with you on almost all your main arguments.

Human marriage is an institution which is desperately begging to be redefined within the context of an ongoing evolutionary process.

The evolution points to becoming a Mensch - a whole, harmonious human being - as opposed to achieving completion through (re)uniting with the 'missing half'. A Mensch belongs to no one but to G-d. As the Jew's understanding and experiencing of the true nature of his/her bond to G-d deepens and pervades the Jew's whole earthly existence, it becomes impossible for him/her to uphold the paralel the orthodoxy seems to be drawing between the Jew's relationship to his/her G-d and the spousal relationship.

A Mensch marries not to add meaning to his/her life, but to refine and expand his/her meaning by intimately coupling to/harmonizing with the other Mensch's meaning, thus contributing to the gradual completion of the Creation puzzle.

I don't believe Love to be a creation. Love is the essence of G-dliness (within and without creation) thus can not be limited to Chesed. A rectified Gevurah is as much an expression of Love as a rectified Chesed is. Chesed loves through giving/extending, Gevurah loves through restricting/withdrawing. All sefirot are in their essence different expressions of Love.

A chassidic teaching says that G-d has created the world because He wanted to experience Love, which to me - in accordance with the aforementioned - is not equivalent to saying that He has created it out of Chesed. It rather means that He wanted to experience HIMSELF.
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Anonymous Tokyo January 13, 2014

Todah rabah. As I cognize my spouse is mine, and I am his" mine", the relation suddenly became so strong, so deep, so powerful, and so comfortable, and so happy. Reply

Anonymous Baltimore January 12, 2014

Thanks This was a real education for me. I've been so influenced by the secular way of thinking. Its all so confusing. I only wish I had learned this 25 years ago. Will pass this on to friends. G-d bless you. Reply

Anonymous new mexico January 4, 2014

marriage This is a very truthful and unabashed discussion of marriage. We look through the topic of same gender marriage ( I believe we need to come up with another word to describe these committed relationship in order to preserve our histories) this discussion is a wonderful overview of long lasting endurance with the same person. Reply

Avivit Venice Italy January 1, 2014

Thank you so much fo this! It was enriching. Thank god for internet and video, here in Venice, Italy, I doubt if you were reached that easily. Reply

Cathy Dyer Apex December 31, 2013

wow Thanks Reply

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