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Learning how to heal from emotional pain from the past is not just about feeling better. It’s about removing the one thing that most blocks us from living our true lives.

“You Ruined My Life!”

“You Ruined My Life!”

Getting Over Resentment

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Rabbi Shais Taub is a renowned speaker and noted scholar on Chassidic philosophy. He is the author of G-d of Our Understanding: Jewish Spirituality and Recovery from Addiction. He and his family make their home in Pittsburgh, PA.
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Discussion (56)
July 9, 2016
I appreciated the message of this lecture and find it comforting (though a real challenge to fully accept) that those I feel have harmed in my life never really harmed me - they simply don't have the power to do so. I'm not sure how to find true comfort to really accept the fact that many people intentionally harm others. Rape, abuse, terrorism, - it all seems to come from such a coarse place, where the person doesn't see the humanity in their victim and intentionally exposes them to pain. However, I guess the message here is that such a person is sick - and we can pray for them. Yet when I do see someone intentionally hurting another - praying on their weaknesses and trying to weaken them further - a well of dislike and anger comes up in me - I wish I could stop it....
Samantha
NY
July 9, 2016
Truly resonates the idea of old resentments!
A friend even said that to me over a pain i was crying over many years later.
"I hear that you're upset..." he said, "But that was years ago... why, why is it still so raw?"
And I didn't have an answer. Why on earth was I still brought to tears over pain/mistreatment that happened 10 years ago?
Resentment - "re" evoking the sentiment, of that pain, is my issue. What they did to me wasn't about me - and not is everything about here... we are here to fulfil G-d's mission for us and He's with us every step of the way...
miriam
Melbourne, Australia
November 7, 2015

this truly helped me to reflect on my attitude regarding my feelings on persons who have wronged me....and, yes, I understand that all has happened for a reason....it is G-d's will for my story and my life's experience and lessons.....Thank You!!!!!!
wendy ostrich
brooklyn
August 1, 2015
tiny problem
... I just downloaded the lecture and sort of hit a wall after a couple of minutes.Certainly,the pain reflex exists so that we back out of the situation.

But,saying that feeling that pain at a later point is never warranted/productive is a logical fallacy.
Why? Because there might just be times,we could not get out of the Situation.
Children cannot escape abuse.
In a case such as this,the pain we feel into adulthood still serves a purpose.
By confronting it,we can back out now.

Some occurences in life simply can't be compared with stumping your toe.
Broken ribs will take longer not only to heal,but to stop hurting.

Sorry for the impulsive rant,guess you hit a nerve there.
Maybe,this was what I needed.
Aaron Lemke
July 12, 2015
Question
Thank you Rabbi Taub for this amazing talk, it is somethIng that I have been thinking a lot about lately. Question: How does one know if when one is being mistreated that he is to view this as an act coming from God, or maybe right now my role is to stand up for myself? If my boss is mistreating me, am I to say "God is the author of my life, he is orchastrating this, my boss is just the supporting cast", or do I say to myself "This is my God given mission right now to stand up to my boss and try to prevent the abuse?"

If anyone has some insight it would be appreciated.Thanks.
Schneur
January 17, 2015
clarity
thank you :
it was so clear . thank you for the message...
you are so funny !!!!!!
and still deliver ..
you have talent......
G-D runs the show
and
we just show up...(simple)
-beautiful-

the hot do story had me on the floor...HA---ha
in omaha...wow

(you have the change) great delivery , made sense

one question ?
meyers---pslams

this video must be watched 2x...there is alot in this...

Rabbi taub..- you are Wise..
Pedro Quezada
December 21, 2014
Your words have helped me more than I can articulate. You also made me crack a smile with your sense of humor.
Anonymous
Oregon
chabadoregon.com
December 9, 2014
Phenomenal!
Wow! Thank You! You are something incredible Rabbi.
CBT
Lakewood NJ
October 2, 2014
This is so revealing. I am not Jewish, but I am a Kabbalah student and have actually changed!! But your words just before Yom Kippur make me think about so many things. I think this is God's way of telling me: This is what you have to do. I will keep coming back to your video until I can assimilate every bit of learning. Blessings.
Anonymous
Mexico
July 25, 2014
Thank you!
This was an answer to my prayers. God is the author of my life. God Bless You!
Anonymous
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