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Chabad.org » Learning & Values » Questions & Answers » Ask the Rabbi » Latest Questions » Advice » Conversion Process Taking Too Long
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Conversion Process Taking Too Long


Question:

I have been in the midst of converting to Judaism for three years now, and the process is taking much longer than I had ever anticipated. I am willing to wait and be patient as long as I know that it is for a purpose, but all the procrastination is really getting to me!

Response:

Yes, it’s so often that way. It’s like one of those home-renovation projects that are never ever finished by the date that the contractor originally promised. Why? Because the job is always bigger than the contractor originally estimated, and there is always some unforeseen detail holding up the progress. But when those long months of homelessness end, and you move into your custom-made new home, it all becomes worth it.

That’s where you are now: Preparing a home for your new Jewish soul--and things are taking longer than they should. But remember that when the last nail is hammered in, the paint is dry and your Jewish soul settles into your new self, it will all become worthwhile.

Please feel free to reply, and have a great new year!

Yours truly,

Rabbi Menachem Posner

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Reader Comments
Latest Comments:
Posted: Oct 16, 2011
Are you really ready?
In most cases, the length of time is based on the speed of the candidate to learn everything that is necessary and to acclimate into an orthodox community.

How is your Hebrew reading?
If male, do you go to services daily?
Do you know all the blessings before and after eating?
Do you know how to observe the Sabbath properly (which books did you use to learn these)?
Are you 100% Kosher?
Are you 100% Sabbath-Observant?
Which other books have you read and mastered?

Have you considered joining a Gerus group?
Posted By Rabbi Aryeh Moshen, Brooklyn, NY

Posted: Oct 8, 2010
On becoming Jewish
How you are born is G-d's gift to you, but what you become is your gift to G-d.
:-)
Posted By Linda, Cincinnati, OH

Posted: Oct 7, 2010
Moshiach
I saw a lot of comments on here regarding people who were intimidated by those who were born Jewish, just remember, and feel free to remind them, the Moshiach will be the descent of a convert (Ruth). Our sages also tell us that converts and penitents are given more reward than those who were born Jews as for them it was a challenge, but for those born Jewish it was natural...
Posted By Anonymous

Posted: Oct 7, 2010
Faster Route
A suffik (doubt of status) was raised for me, not long ago because I don't have papers to back up my lineage and everybody being non-religious intermarried (another reason why it's important to marry Jewish!) so the Rabbis suggest that I go through the giur (conversion) process to remove the suffik. A few things that became a factor in speeding things up for me is that I had a Rabbi I was close to provide a reference for me, this is important as it shows the beit din that someone in the community knows you are serious, also another thing to consider that the beit din might agree to move things faster is if you agree to go to a yeshiva. Another helpful thing (if you're a male) is that if you make it to shul to daven frequently, and you live in a fairly small Jewish community that has trouble forming a minyan, you might get some support from the community rabbis who want to speed things up so they can count you in the minyan ;)

l'hazlecha!
Posted By Anonymous, hamilton, ca

Posted: Oct 27, 2009
What happens to the soul, an answer
I think I'm the one who started this whole thing of the Jewish soul, and as a convert I can assure you - it's real.
I am hardly a scholar, btw, so forgive me for not citing where I found this info. Ask a rabbi.
I've learned that a convert ALWAYS had a Jewish soul (that's in ADDITION to the human soul we're all born with) but that the body, being born from a non-Jewish mother, isn't kosher. Think of it as a utensil not being kosher -it can't hold the holiness. Once the convert commits to life as a Jew ie a life of Torah and goes to the mikvah and has a circumcision, if nec. the Jewish soul drops into its new kosher home.
I felt this sort of haunting, unrelenting drive to be Jewish always, so this strikes a cord with me. I felt at one point it just didn't matter what I needed to do, I'd do it. Lech Lecha! and that's exactly what happened, we ended up moving to countless places, many tests, all hard and good.

I'm glad it was hard. It develops commitment and being a Jew has meaning. It isn't manmade.
Posted By Rut Biton, Tzfat, Israel

Posted: Oct 26, 2009
God's love
Jews have not bothered to share God's love with gentiles like me. It's just not fair!
Posted By V. Balajee, Bengaluru, India

Posted: Oct 18, 2009
Spare spirit?
I think the idea of one soul being replaced by another is from a movie starring Whoopie Goldberg and Patrick Swayze!
Also, look at some of the thinking here! I hope no-one is saying that the non-Jewish soul is inferior and deserves to be homeless!
I feel that I have always had a Jewish soul but I don't want to sound like a transexual on an Opra special ; "I was born with the wrong body"
I don't think G-d made a mistake. Perhaps I really do have Jewish ancesters that I will never know about . Otherwise he must have felt that I needed this particular loving family, perhaps to learn specific things. I will always love them and be proud of them. I just can't do their religion. (the lipstick methaphore from the previous comment is perfect.)
So, I fast on Yom Kippur withouth letting anyone know and I enjoy this Jewish website and other Jewish things secetly. I sympathise with all who want to be able to say "Yes, I'm Jewish" . Good Luck to all of you :-)
Posted By Anonymous, West Chester, OH

Posted: Oct 14, 2009
What I am
Yes, I fully agree. I cannot imagine being Anything else but Jew. I have always been deeply pre-occupied with G-d, and everything concerning him, and my life. I tried to find him in another religion, and it made me horribly "sick", it felt like something so, "disconnected" from who and what I was, it felt so totally "fake", like bright maroon lipstick that washes off, and is never "quite" the hue of one's own lips. I was also very terrified, of what I was, that is a familial trait - all-encompassing fear, about spirituality. When I found out about my ancestry, and ancestors, I was deeply saddened, grieving my losses, the loss of my Heritage, the destruction of the facts traduced into an unrecognizable history - minus our True Heritage - Torah, Rabbis, ect..
So, to go home, is daunting, embarrassing (I am hebraically illiterate), and like a mendient, hoping for inclusion - but it is so much more -I need acknowledgement of my TRUE self, my Personhood - that is MY Birthright.
Posted By Anonymous, Tornto

Posted: Oct 13, 2009
To Eliza:
Dear Eliza, Here are three very sensitive articles writen by Rabbi Shemtov in Uruguay; they are extremly objective and informative:

www.chabad.org/328783

www.chabad.org/148995

www.chabad.org/53118
Posted By Rabbi Chaim, S.M., CA

Posted: Oct 12, 2009
Be encouraged that many Jewish Greats are converts
Dear converts, remember great torah personalities like Rabbi Shemayah, Rabbi Avtalyon, Rabbi Onkelos who were converts, Rabbi Akiva who descended from converts. Many great converts like Rut, who became the mother of Kings, Flavius Clements who sacrificed his life for the Jews, who became a jew. Many others who were not born jewish but became jewish. May you follow their examples and be as great as they are. Remember that even if you may face difficulties, judaism's basic precept is that all men descended from Adam and Chavah and the Torah belongs to all whose souls are Israel, converts or not. Remember even these great torah personalities faced difficulties. Once you become a jew, you are no less or more jewish than any other jew. Remember that even King David, on of the greatest personalities in Jewish History is a descendant of a convert. That number of years are worth it.
Posted By Akiva, Singapore



 


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