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Road Rage


I'm stopped at a red light.

My hands relax on the steering wheel as I watch for the green. Nothing of interest happens as you wait for a light to change. Not usually, that is.

Today is different: I have front row seats for a brief drive-by show.

She's a prudent driver, staying just within the speed limit as she crosses the intersection and turns right. He's madly rushing, stop-starting, revving and braking inches behind her.

You choose the route, destination, travel-time, speed and driving style. This is your journey.She's calm, with both hands firmly on the wheel, and both eyes on the road. His free hand gesticulates wildly out the window, punctuating the expletives pouring from his mouth, as he gears up and steers with his other hand.

He's fuming. She's oblivious.

I'm tickled.

I wish I had a video camera and this guy's address. He obviously doesn't realize how idiotic he looks—ignored by the object of his anger, and observed by dozens of amused rush-hour commuters.


What is it about driving that transforms mild-mannered, nice people into rash road-rage racers?

I know many of these people. In real life, they are courteous, responsible and family oriented. On the road they mutate into monsters. How?

I think it has to do with the feeling of control. Take the wheel and you assume control. You direct and your car obeys.

You choose the route, destination, travel time, speed and driving style. This is your journey.

What you haven't necessarily considered is that you don't control the traffic volumes, the red lights, the drivers next to you or ahead of you. You actually control very little of the journey.

When it doesn't go as expected, you get upset, angry or even aggressive. And all because you thought you were in control.

Interesting insight into life, this road rage is.

Believe you're in control and you're bound to be frustrated. Accept that there will always be variables outside of your control, and that your job is to know how to respond to them, and you will remain calm. And happy.


Judaism centers on the Ten Commandments.

Rule #1: G‑d is in control.

Rule #2: If you think for a moment He is not in control, see Rule #1.

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By Ari Shishler   More articles...  |   RSS Listing of Newest Articles by this Author
Rabbi Ari Shishler is the director of Chabad of Strathavon, South Africa

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Reader Comments
Latest Comments:
Posted: Nov 11, 2010
Road rage
Sooo, you are trying to get 'Somewhere"? Wonderful, we have the same destination! Oh, you mean you were supposed to be there at 8, and it's already 9? Sorry, pal. the Boss is in charge, and He has determined that you cannot arrive early if you leave late!
Loved your article, Rabbi. Shalom!
Posted By Maria, New York, NY

Posted: Nov 9, 2010
road rage
Waw, i never thought on that point of view... I also drive and get very upset when I think I'm going to get at a certain time on a specific places and things don't work out....
Thanks for this article!!!!!!
Posted By Anonymous, Caracas, Venezuela

Posted: Nov 9, 2010
Or, you could leave 10 minutes earlier
Yes, no doubt, G-d is in control of the outcome. But you are also given a measure of choice in what you do to affect the outcome. Just because you made that trip last week in 20 minutes doesn't mean it will always be so. Leave a few minutes earlier, and avoid being a conversation piece.
Posted By Tom

Posted: Nov 18, 2009
Road Rage
I also think it has a lot to do with the fact that people are self centered. Everything is about them.
I have to be somewhere and you don't.
I am in a hurry.
I am important and you are not.
Only what is happening to me matters.
As long as we persist in thinking that we are the center of the universe, things like this will continue to happen.
Posted By Carol , Ft. Wayne, In

Posted: Nov 12, 2009
road rage
nothing happens without HE lets happen,or I´m wrong?
Posted By gustavo vargas angel, santiago , chile

Posted: Nov 12, 2009

not only brilliant wonderful
Posted By Anonymous

Posted: Nov 11, 2009
Love this analogy
Thank you - this is a wonderful analogy. When you realise that you are not really in control you can just relax and enjoy life.
Frustration and anger come from the arrogance of thinking that you control everything.
I will try to keep these words of inspiration in mind next time I am rushing on the road! (and in life in general!)
Posted By Hanna, Sydney, Australia

Posted: Nov 10, 2009
Brilliant!!
Posted By Anonymous

Posted: Nov 9, 2009
ROAD RAGE
I saw this (in USA)
Two men were driving side by side. One tried to pass but the other went faster, refusing to let him pass. Neither realized they were heading up a hill where a fence had been removed and both drove off this hill to their deaths!
Posted By Anonymous, Efrat, Israel

Posted: Nov 9, 2009
Who's In Control?
Hi Ari,
PERFECT.
This whole article is just spot on. The crazed maniac and the oblivious lady are both travelling at the same speed, it's just that one of them is enjoying it.
I love your analysis of road-rage. Absolutely apt.

And Rules #1 & 2 - who needs more than this for a calm life?
Thanks so much for sharing.
May G-d bless and keep you always,
Shalom,
Posted By Ezza Amitai, melbourne, australia



 


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