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Kiddush and the Friday Night Meal

Kiddush and the Friday Night Meal

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"Yom Hashishi. And the heavens and the earth and all their hosts were completed... And G-d blessed the Seventh Day and made it holy, for on it He rested from all His work..." (Genesis 1:31 2:1-31)

The commencement of the Shabbat meal--the kiddush (sanctification)--sets the tone for the meal and day and defines what makes it special. The words in the kiddush testify that G-d, Creator of the world, rested on the seventh day and sanctified it, telling us that this is not an ordinary day and not simply a meal, rather it is a celebration and affirmation of this day that G-d has consecrated.

The Talmud tells us: "On Friday Night, a person is escorted home from synagogue by two angels, one good and one evil1. When he comes home and finds the candles burning, the table set, and the beds made, the good angel declares 'may it be G-d's will that the next Shabbat be the same,' and the evil angel reluctantly answers 'Amen.' If [the home is] not [prepared for Shabbat], the evil angel proclaims 'may it be G-d’s will that the next Shabbat be the same,' and the good angel must answer 'Amen" (Talmud, Shabbat 119b).

Immediately upon returning from the synagogue, gather family, friends and guests around the table. Sing the "Sholom Aleichem," greeting and then bidding farewell to these angels who have accompanied you all Friday night and are now taking leave.

Sholom aleichem malachay ha-shorais, malachay el-yon, mi-melech malachay ham'lochim, hakodosh baruch hu. (repeat 3 times)

Bo-achem l'sholom, malachay hashalom, malachay el-yon, mi-melech malachay ham'lochim, hakodosh baruch hu. (repeat 3 times)

Burchuni l'sholom, malachay hashalom, malachay el-yon, mi-melech malachay ham'lochim, hakodosh baruch hu. (repeat 3 times)

Tzays'chem l'sholom, malachay hashalom, malachay el-yon, mi-melech malachay ham'lochim, hakodosh baruch hu. (repeat 3 times)

Peace unto you, ministering angels, messengers of the Most High, the supreme King of kings, the Holy One, blessed be He. (chant three times)

May your coming be in peace, angels of peace, messengers of the Most High, the supreme King of kings, the Holy One, blessed be He. (chant three times)

Bless me with peace, angels of peace, messengers of the Most High, the supreme King of kings, the Holy One, blessed be He. (chant three times)

May your departure be in peace, angels of peace, messengers of the Most High, the supreme King of kings, the Holy One, blessed be He. (chant three times)

For the Hebrew please see Shalom Aleichem Text.

"Aishet Chayil," a poem by King Solomon, is now recited, in praise of both the Shabbat queen and the Jewish woman. According to the Midrash, this ode was originally composed by our Patriarch Abraham, written as a eulogy when his wife Sarah passed away. At the conclusion of the week, every man takes a moment to reflect and be thankful for all his wife has done for him and the entire household throughout the past week. In addition, we learn from the mystical tradition that this poem is also a reference to the "Shabbat Queen," the spiritual soul-mate of the Jewish nation.(Click here for the full Aishet Chayil text)

In some communities it is customary for parents to bless their children before the Friday night meal. The parent places both hands atop the child's head and recites the following:

The Lord spoke to Moses saying: Speak to Aaron and his sons, saying: This is how you shall bless the children of Israel, saying to them: ‘May the Lord bless you and watch over you. May the Lord cause His countenance to shine to you and favor you. May the Lord raise His countenance toward you and grant you peace.’ They shall bestow My Name upon the children of Israel, and I will bless them.”
[For a son:] May G-d make you like Ephraim and Menasheh.
[For a daughter:] May G-d make you like Sarah, Rebecca, Rachel, and Leah.

Now that you've sent off the angels in peace, praised your wife and blessed your children, you are finally ready for kiddush.

Fill the kiddush cup--an ornate silver import, or a plain glass, anything works, as long as it's a permanent vessel, no plastic please--so that it brims over with wine.

Stand up, hold the cup in your right hand, and recite the blessing (in your best alto, in one of the following versions: Hebrew, transliteration, or English translation ).

Yom ha-shishi, Va-yechulu ha-shamayim ve-ha’aretz ve-chol tzeva’am.

Va-yechal Elohim ba-yom ha-shevi’i melachto asher asah, va-yishbot ba-yom ha-shevi’i mi-kol melachto asher asah.

Va-yevarech Elohim et yom ha-shevi’i va-yekadeish oto, ki vo shavat mi-kol melachto asher bara Elohim la’asot.

Savri maranan:

Baruch ata Hashem, Elokeinu melech ha-olam,borei peri ha-gafen. (Those present respond, “Amen.”)

Baruch atah Hashem, Eloheinu melech ha-olam, asher kideshanu be-mitzvotav ve-ratzah banu, ve-Shabbat kodesho be-ahava uve-ratzon hinchilanu, zikaron le-ma’aseh vereishit, techilah le-mikra’ei kodesh, zeicher litziat mitzrayim.

Ki vanu vecharta ve-otanu kidashta mi-kol ha-amim, ve-Shabbat kodshecha be-ahavah uve-ratzon hinchaltanu.

Baruch ata Hashem, mekadeish ha-Shabbat. (“Amen”)

The sixth day. And the heavens and the earth and all their complements were finished. And G-d finished by the Seventh Day His work which He had done, and He rested on the seventh day from all His work which He had done. And G-d blessed the seventh day and made it holy, for on it He rested from all His work, which G-d had created to do.

Attention Gentlemen! Blessed are You, Lord our G-d, King of the world, who creates the fruit of vine.

Blessed are You, Lord our G-d, king of the world, who made us holy with His commandments and favored us, and gave us His holy Shabbat, in love and favor, to be our heritage, as a reminder of the Creation. It is the first of the holy festivals, commemorating the exodus from Egypt. For You have choesen us and sanctified us from among all the nations, and with love and goodwill given us Your holy Shabbat as a heritage. Blessed are You, Lord, who sanctifies Shabbat.

For the Hebrew please see Friday Night Kiddush Text.

Sit, drink at least half the wine, and pour the rest into cups for the people around the table.

Make sure that everyone gets a sip of the wine.

Your kiddush is complete, and you are ready to begin your shabbat meal.

Some notes: Kiddush is recited by the head of the household. It is also customary in many homes for each male over thirteen to make his own Kiddush and afterwards to recite the hamotzi blessing over two small challot.

The Kiddush cup, usually made of silver and often beautifully engraved, symbolizes the vessel into which G-d's blessings are poured. The Kiddush cup holds four ounces of wine or grape juice. The one who recites the Kiddush should drink a little more than half, and distribute the rest among all those who are included in his Kiddush.

The Meal: After Kiddush, we wash our hands in the customary manner for eating bread. Each person fills a large cup and pours water two or three times, first on the right hand, then on the left. The hands are raised and the following blessing is recited:

Boruch atoh A-donoy, Elo-heinu Melech Ho’Olam, asher kidshonu bemitzvosov vetzivonu al netilas yodoyim.

Blessed are You, L-rd our G-d, King of the universe, who sanctified us with His commandments and commanded us to wash our hands.

Everyone then returns to the table and the head of the household raises the two challot and recites the hamotzi ("...Who brings forth bread from the earth"-see Blessings before Eating), after which we say "Amen." The challah is cut and dipped into salt. It is eaten right away to avoid interruption between the blessing and eating. The remaining challah is then distributed and each person recites the hamotzi blessing before eating.

The mitzvah of oneg Shabbat, Shabbat pleasure, is among the hallmarks of Shabbat. This means that we are to beautify Shabbat with the best this world has to offer. To this end, we sanctify Shabbat with three meals, one Friday night, one Shabbat afternoon, and one in the evening. Our finest foods are saved for Shabbat, including treats for the children and special delicacies. We also include fish and meat or chicken courses in the first two meals.

FOOTNOTES
1. An angel, by definition, is a servant of G-d who carries out his Master’s will. "Evil" angels are thus called because their mission is to punish those who defy G-d’s commandments, but this too is at the Creator’s behest. Perhaps this is why we say "Peace unto you, ministering angels," including both angels in our warm greeting, for we recognize that even the "evil" angel is merely a servant who is faithfully discharging his duty.
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Discussion (10)
July 7, 2011
Wine
After kiddush first pour some of the wine for family then you drink it yourself.
cyrus
baltimore, md
December 21, 2010
Honoring wife, blessing children
Fathers traditionally honor their wives first (Woman of Valor) and then bless the children.
An over sight?
Yohanon
Hollywood, FL/USA
November 11, 2009
Salt
I found this on Askmoses.com:

According to Kabbalah, salt, which is bitter, represents Divine Severity, and bread, the staff of life, represents Divine Kindness. We don't want to sprinkle severity atop the kindness ... rather we wish to overpower the severity with kindness. On an even more mystical level, the gematria (numerical value) of the word Lechem (Hebrew for bread) is 78. We dip the bread three times dividing the energy of 78 into 3 = 26, which is the gematria for G-d's name (the Tetragrammaton). This reminds us of the verse (Deuteronomy 8:3) "man does not live by bread alone, but rather by, whatever comes forth from the mouth of the Lord does man live."
Gersh from NJ
November 11, 2009
3x
Funny thing is that no-one I ask seems to know why. I think that it may have to do with the fact that 3x constitutes a chazakah. In simple English this means that once something has been done, repeated, and yet repeated again, a pattern has been established ind it is given a measure of permanence and regularity.
Gersh from NJ
November 10, 2009
candles
Do we have a specific reason why we circle our hands 3 times before lighting?
Also is there a specific reason that we dip the challh in salt 3 times?
Thank you
Anonymous
Phila, PA
October 27, 2008
Response to Woman living alone
The obligation of reciting kiddush is equal for men and women. Therefore, even women who live alone, are not only allowed but are required to say the kiddush both in the evening and at the noon meal.
Eliezer Wenger
Montreal, Canada
November 12, 2007
woman living alone
i'm a woman living alone, who only recently discovered i was jewish and is keeping shabbas. i was wondering if i'm permitted to make kiddush, or if it's only reserved for a man.
Anonymous
March 23, 2007
About Shabat
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Thanks to those who make Chabad's page so interesting,
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Lake Forest, CA
November 23, 2005
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College Park, md
October 17, 2005
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