Musings About Respect and the Omer

The Omer mourning period always puzzles me. Why are we in a state of mourning for at least 32 days? We mourn for only a day on Tisha B’Av and other fast days. Why so long?

We are told that Rabbi Akiva’s students perished because they did not have enough respect one for another. What’s the big deal about respect?

Everyone deserves respect. We all have merit in this world. We all have something to share and to teach from our life’s experiences. As the saying goes, “A fool can ask a question one hundred sages cannot answer.”

Think what the world would be like it we gave more respect to even one personWithout respect, many things may happen between two people. They may not listen to one another. They may not even speak to one another. They may not even look at one another. They may not even think about one another. They may not help one another. They may even do harm to one another.

Think what the world would be like it we gave more respect to even one person. We learn, in fact, that in the time of Rabbi Akiva there was hope for the imminent coming of Moshiach. What can we do, now, to bring Moshiach in our time? Perhaps we can begin with more respect.

We can start by focusing on a single person. We can greet him with a smile and call out his name. We can ask how he is doing. We can ask for his opinions and advice. We can thank him for the good he has done. We can recognize his special interests and abilities. We can humbly say we are sorry for not giving him more of our attention.

We can also encourage others to give us more respect, too. We don’t have to be treated like doormats. We can ask others about how we can gain more of their respect. We can patiently spend time with people to iron out differences.

We can ask others about how we can gain more of their respectIt takes time to show more respect. It is an ongoing process, a soul-searching process, not something that happens overnight. We have this 32 days of mourning during the Omer to dwell on this. It may not be clear why we mourn for more than a month, but we may benefit from it.

Like Rabbi Akiva’s students, we can study Torah with someone new, and we can become friends. “Hillel says: Be of the disciplines of Aaron, loving peace and pursuing peace, loving your fellow creatures and drawing them near to the Torah” (Ethics 1:12).