Cookies & Apples

Life keeps getting faster and faster. More and more, we spend our time trying to make things happen, fitting more into each minute than ever before. But somehow, we are neither satisfied nor fulfilled. Why? Because the things we're running after so fervently are in most cases not the things we really want.

And, if what you go after is not what you really, truly want, it will never satisfy you. You will always be left wanting more.

In fact, you can never get enough of what you don't really want.

You Can Never Get Enough of What You Don't Really Want

Here's an example: When you crave cookies and eat one, more often than not your craving won't be satisfied. In fact, sometimes eating one cookie actually makes your craving stronger.

In contrast, when you crave a juicy red apple and eat it you almost never need to eat another one. The first apple hits the spot.

That's because what draws you to the apple is a craving for things that actually can be found in an apple. Things like vitamins, fiber and healthy sweet energy--the very things that are abundant in a fresh, juicy fruit.

But, in many cases, the craving that draws you to a cookie can't be satisfied by a cookie. Or even more than one.

There's nothing much that your body wants in a cookie. So when you crave that cookie it's probably not really a physical craving. What you want is more likely a "soul food"; i.e. something emotional or even spiritual. You might, for example, be craving the experience of sweetness, goodness, pleasure, connection, abundance, a sense of security or comfort.

If you associate cookies with those feelings you'll keep going for the cookies. But unfortunately, no matter how many cookies you eat, your craving will never be satisfied.

In fact, rather than making you satisfied and fulfilled, most of the time giving yourself a lot of what you don't really want does the very opposite--it makes your craving even bigger. This is true whether we're talking about cookies, booze, money, 'toys', a bigger house, or a more exciting relationship.

That's why, sometimes, the people who have the biggest share of the things we are all striving for--things like money, success and adulation--end up on drugs.

That's because money, success and adulation are not what they really want. They really want the happiness, pride, love, connection, purpose, beauty, fulfillment and appreciation that they associate with those things.

There's nothing wrong with fame and fortune--like there's nothing wrong with cookies--as long as you aren't using those things to satisfy a craving for something else.

Cravings and Addiction

In fact, this is one definition of addiction--the insatiable need to satisfy a deeply rooted craving with something that simply can't satisfy it.

When your craving for something is healthy, indulging that craving will not only satisfy you, it will allow you to be more present in your life. Enjoying a gourmet meal, an evening by the beach, a passionate connection with another person, or a glass of good wine can all enhance your sense of joy and aliveness.

But when your craving is unhealthy or addictive, the opposite is true. Rather than bringing you into the present, indulging the craving will distract and dull you.

And when you can't indulge the craving--if, for example, you fail to achieve the level of material success you think you need--it will disappoint and frustrate you too.

Hitting the Spot

Imagine living a life where everything you crave--everything you do--actually hits the spot, leaving you present, alive, satisfied and fulfilled. What could be more desirable than that?

The trick is, in order to know what it will take to hit that spot, you have to know exactly where the spot is. Or in other words, you have to know what you really want. Deep down inside, in the core of who you are.

Do you want peace of mind? If you are looking for it in a cookie, a new car or a greater level of material success, you probably won't find it.

Does that mean that you shouldn't strive for or enjoy those things? Not at all. It just means that you shouldn't look to satisfy your deep-rooted craving for peace of mind in the car dealership. They only sell cars.

For peace of mind you have to shop somewhere else.

Here's what you should do:

First of all, stop whatever you're doing right now and ask yourself why you're doing it in the first place.

Ask yourself what it is, deep down inside, that you really want. What, at the end of the day, will give you genuine and long-lasting satisfaction and pride? What is it that you're putting off until after you 'make it'? And no less important, what special person is waiting for your time, your smile, your listening ear?

Stop waiting for the end of the day. You can do something right now, this minute, in order to create true joy, satisfaction and meaning in your life or the life of someone you love. To fulfill the deep-rooted cravings of your soul. All you have to do is recognize the opportunity for the treasure it is.

That's where the real fortune lies.