Procrastination

Procrastination: Ta da. You can almost write a song using this word. Pro-cras-tin-a-tion..... a long word for a short thing -- excuses, putting off, avoiding, distracting -- anything but sitting down, or getting down to work! Why do I do this? Why do I put off or totally avoid the things that will be good for me, the things that I really want to do, or the things that I really have to do?

Probably because I just don't want to be disturbed, perturbed, upset, or annoyed. That is, my low frustration tolerance to doing things that don't make me feel perfectly wonderful gets in the way of my doing things that will most probably benefit me in the long run. So, a little discomfort now, in exchange for a better life, better world, better me - in the long run; that doesn't seem to be worth the trouble. It should be obvious. It should be easier. It should be a toss-up!

If you put the benefits on one side of the scale, and the "trouble" or "annoyance" of just "doing it" quickly, right now, 'get-it-over-with-already-now' on the other side, the choice should be simple! Right? Wrong! As an addict, or as we like to say, "a recovering addict," I will (almost) always choose the easier, simpler (yet often stupider) way first. Why suffer discomfort even for a minute? I like to feel good, calm, no waves in my pool - comfortable. Why mess that up?

The answer is obvious - because I didn't get an "easy-pass" when I was born into this world. Instead, I got a contract from my Higher Power of things that I am supposed to do, accomplish and complete while I am here on earth. This is not for anyone else's benefit, but for my own. It's designed to improve my soul and its character. I was sent here, all prepared with my own specs and details, with my personalized plan in G-d's mind for soul-improvement. Sometimes I wonder why I didn't get the Owner's Manual along with my package. Why didn't I get a description of the road ahead of me, along with the upcoming issues and solutions? Maybe it should've said: Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is so and so...

In reality, life did come with a manual. The Torah is an Owner's Manual, and my 12-Step program is also one; but that took me years to discover. Both of these guides teach me new ways of acting (rather than re-acting) to life. They show me new ways of living a useful and fruitful life. Not always relaxed and smooth, or pain and stress-free life, but better life nevertheless.

So, the choices (as always) are mine. No one is forcing me. No need for me to rebel anymore, like a teenager. It's my choice to pick a little discomfort now, in order to heal, recover, and live a happy, healthy, sane and useful life. Hands down, the choice seems much easier when put that way. It even feels quite good to make the right choices now.