Identify - Not Compare

"I always had a quick temper, but now things were getting out of hand....(At meetings) I needed to identify, not compare- trying to see how I was like the people I was with... Comparing was looking for difference, usually seeing how I was better than others" - "A Drunk, Like You" Alcoholics Anonymous pages 399-406

I liked this reading about "Identify, not compare." It's too easy to go to meetings, hear other people's stories, and say that mine is so different. I like this idea of looking for the similarities, rather than the differences. It proves to me that I'm in the right place.

In this AA story, I can identify with the statement about temper. For me, that's always been a sign that things are out of control. I get antsy, short-tempered, edgy, and quick to jump at others. Afterwards, I can kick myself, beat myself up and then I’m so sorry for my behavior.

When I get edgy, things (and people) can easily push my buttons. I need to have a plan – so when that happens I’m prepared. My plan is to get in touch with my Higher Power and myself -- so that I don't fly off the handle or say or do things I will be sorry for afterwards.

I don't know if my temperament will ever change (probably not), but I do know that this is something I will probably always have to work with. People and events will continue to push my buttons, but I don't have to react or respond in ways that I will be sorry for afterwards. It's my choice. There is nothing automatic here. As long as there is free will, I can choose how to respond. It's up to me.