Jumping Out of Bed

I can't get out of bed this morning.

I feel so tired.

Tired of late nights sitting alone at my computer, grueling hours of detailed work to meet deadlines.

Tired of policing my kids, trying to get the laundry done, and stealing a bite for myself every now and then.

But mostly, I feel drained; I've spent this last week, with the rest of the world, reading articles, watching video clips, talking, crying, trying to fathom... But mostly, wishing and wanting so badly to know you. Oh, Gabi and Rivki of blessed memory, I wish I could have known you, could have been so lucky to have met you, to have been in your holy presence, even just once...

Last night, working at my computer at 2 am, Uriyah wakes and walks into my office ... After some quality time, he's in bed by 3, and then Ma'ayan's cries... I'm not asleep till about 5 am.

I can't get out of bed this morning.

I feel so tired.

But something pulls me out of my slumber, out of the haze, the grumbled good morning and the fantasy of even five more minutes of sleep... I imagine your face, Rivki, and how much you did, every day, for so many people, with so much love and grace, and I think to know you, to become a bit closer to you, I have to try and live like you.

And so I jump out of bed.