Starting Over - V'zot HaBerachah

"And there was no other prophet who arose in Israel like Moses, whom the L-rd knew face to face, as manifested by all the signs and wonders, which the L-rd had sent him to perform in the land of Egypt, to Pharaoh and all his servants, and to all his land, and all the strong hand, and all the great awe, which Moses performed before the eyes of all Israel"—Deuteronomy 34:10-12.

The final verse of the final portion of the Torah refers to "the strong hand and all the great awe, which Moses performed before the eyes of all Israel." According to the Talmud, the phrase "before the eyes of all Israel" alludes to the incident when Moses smashed the Tablets of the Covenant when he found the Jewish people worshiping the Golden Calf.

An odd conclusion for the Five Books of Moses! The whole Torah ends by recalling the destruction of the Ten Commandments by Moses! Another interesting point to consider is that after completing the reading of this portion in the Synagogue, we immediately begin reading from the first portion of the Torah (Gen. 1:1): "In the beginning, G-d created..."

The reason that the Torah ends as it does – by alluding to the breaking of the Tablets of the Covenant – is the same reason that we start over again once we've finished. Both ideas are rooted in the same principle; we never just finish up and move on. Just when we think we've reached the end – when we get to the very last line of the very last portion – we are reminded that the Tablets of the Covenant were once destroyed and had to be remade. So it is with our spiritual journey; there is never a completion, only the reminder that we always start again.

As newcomers looking at the Steps for the first time, many of us wondered what we were supposed to do once they were completed. The answer is that our recovery is never finished; it continues by beginning again. We remember that the life we now have was once in a state of apparent destruction, just as the Tablets containing the Word of G-d had been smashed. In our despair, we agreed to let go, and let G-d give us a new life. We learned to trust G-d. We cleaned house; and we repaired our relationships with others. The promises of the Program began to manifest in our lives. And finally, we "had a spiritual awakening as a result of these Steps." But our spiritual awakening in Step 12 is not the end of our recovery. Our new-found faith and selflessness lead us to an even greater acceptance of the original powerlessness in Step One. Just as we initially admitted to G-d, we start over and surrender again. No matter how many times we have worked through the Steps, we never stop admitting that we are alcoholics and addicts. We admit again that our lives had been unmanageable; for it is with that admission that our renewed spiritual lives begin.

We remember that it is He who takes away our pain and gives us joy. It is He who takes away our sickness and gives us health. It is He who instills renewed energy into our desolate lives. Our spiritual awakening in Step 12 takes us back to the very First Step; it reminds us how the spiritual lives we now have began out of darkness, chaos and void. It is now our job to once again transform our lives with light, order and fulfillment.