When is a Jew not a Jew?
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Question:
Our daughter is dating a young man age 27 who professes to be a Christian. My daughter is a committed Christian. We met his parents last night and found that they were orthodox Jews. Are they obligated to disown their son if he professes to them that he is a Christian?
Answer:
Judaism is really quite unique – can you imagine a person who does not believe in Christ calling himself a Christian? Or someone who does not follow the teachings of Mohammed and the Koran calling himself a Muslim? A Buddhist is one who follows the teachings of Buddhism, and a Hindu practices Hinduism – otherwise he is not a Buddhist or a Hindu.
Yet we have Jews who are perfectly happy to be known as “Jewish atheists,” Jews who follow Buddhism, even “Jewish Christians.” How can that be? Aren't these contradictions in terms? The answer is that, while a Jew should act as a Jew, being Jewish has nothing to do with “religion” or “Judaism.” What makes a person Jewish is the Jewish soul with which he was born, a certain spark of G‑dliness that is the core and the fiber of his existence. This spark – while it may lie dormant, or sometimes, G‑d forbid, even comatose – can never be extinguished. Even if it is rejected, it is still there. Its existence does not depend on the deeds it performs or the beliefs it holds. Those deeds and beliefs connect the soul to G‑d; they do not create the soul. A Jew who has never performed a mitzvah in his life is no less Jewish than the greatest Rabbi. He’s just less connected.
While it most certainly causes great pain to parents, and probably generates quite a bit of friction in the family, parents may or may not reject a child who rejects Judaism and/or who professes to be a Christian. There is always the hope that he will return to the heritage of his parents and his people.
However, Jewish parents have traditionally disowned children who have married out of the faith ‑ remember Tevye in Fiddler on the Roof? Why? Two reasons:
1. In the case of a Jewish man who marries a non‑Jewish woman – since Judaism is matrilineal, their children will not be Jewish. With this marriage, the 3000 year old chain of Judaism is effectively terminated.
2. Marrying out of the faith, and establishing a non‑Jewish home is the ultimate rejection of Judaism.
Your daughter's boyfriend has done her a dis‑service if he has not shared this information with her. He is a Jew and always will be a Jew. If your daughter is considering marriage with this young man, she should be aware that they can never really accept her as a daughter‑in‑law, or her children as grandchildren.
Yours truly,
Chaya Sarah Silberberg
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Latest Comments:
I believe this is a rabbinical definition that during this current rabbinical period in Judaism, we seemingly hold to.
But during the days of the Third Temple Era, this may or may not hold--most likely not.
That is, it is a convenient definition that was articulated based upon lack of knowledge of the father's lineage and it has served us as a rule of thumb.
But the true definition of being Jewish is far more complex and perhaps unknowable at this time.
When all the Levites are called to duty, perhaps we shall see. I pray that the determination of who is a Levite not be made by the same rabbinical authorities who are currently defining who a jew is.
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Ms. Silberberg is wrong. I say this with as much love as I can muster. You need to go back and review the ancestry of the Jewish Nation. Didn't Israel adopt Ephraim and Manassah and make them joint heirs with ALL of Joseph's brothers, even though they had an Egyptian mother? What about Moses and his Gentile Wife who had children? Remember the circumcision she did on the boy? Here is one for you, what about Boaz, who under the law married Ruth, a Gentile, from Moab. Didn't King David enter the picture a few generations later and his son Solomon?
Dear Teacher, a true Jew has always been a matter of the heart. A circumcised heart makes one a Jew!
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Leah is wrong - historically a Jew who converted to another faith and wished to return to Judaism, had to convert BACK to Judaism, as they were considered an EX Jew.
Maimonides also stated that once a Jew left the faith, he was no longer Jewish.
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Jewish identity is created by man. For example, since we know that a Moabite was never supposed to enter the house of Israel, and hence Ruth could never have received an official conversion; we know that King David could not have been a Jew at his time, by the written Torah. Hence the rabbis changed the Torah to say only of a Moabite male is prohibited in marriage.
So if you want your children to be Jewish raise them Jewish. In a few generations one may be King of Israel.
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Jewish identity is created by HaShem, there is nothing mortal men can do to "uncreate" that which HaShem has made. A Jew is a Jew.
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I am aghast at the answer given here. There is no such thing as a 'jewish christian'.
A person is Jewish if they were born to a Jewish mother or they have converted. They remain Jewish UNLESS they adopt another faith.
A Jew that converts to Christianity is an Apostate, and an EX Jew. Historically, Jews who left Judaism, and then wished to return, had to CONVERT back to JUDAISM.
Everyone has a right to choose their own faith. But nobody has a right to claim to be part of a faith they have left. When a Jew becomes a Christian, they are a CHRISTIAN.
They are not a 'jewish christian'.
They are not a 'messianic jew'.
They are not a 'completed jew'.
They are a CHRISTIAN.
Just as when a Christian converts to Judaism, they then become a JEW.
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Isaiah 56:6-8
6. Also the sons of the stranger, who join themselves to the Lord, to serve him, and to love the name of the Lord, to be his servants, every one who keeps the sabbath and does not profane it, and all who hold fast to my covenant;
7. Even them will I bring to my holy mountain, and make them joyful in my house of prayer; their burnt offerings and their sacrifices shall be accepted upon my altar; for my house shall be called a house of prayer for all peoples.
8. The Lord God who gathers the outcasts of Israel says, Yet will I gather others to him, beside those who are already gathered.
Who are the sons of the stranger?
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Numbers 15:13-16 and 15:29-30 on conversion:
All who are native born shall do these things after this ordinance, in offering an offering made by fire, of a sweet savor to the Lord. And if a stranger sojourns with you, or whoever is among you in your generations, and will offer an offering made by fire, of a sweet savor to the Lord; as you do, so he shall do. One ordinance shall be both for you of the congregation, and also for the stranger who sojourns with you, an ordinance forever in your generations; as you are, so shall the stranger be before the Lord. One Torah and one code shall be for you, and for the stranger who sojourns with you.
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You shall have one Torah for him who sins through ignorance, both for him who is born among the people of Israel, and for the stranger who sojourns among them. But the soul who does anything presumptuously, whether he is born in the land or a stranger, that person dishonors the Lord; and that soul shall be cut off from among his people.
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Time is crucial in fertility and as folks are near 40, there is little time for conversion games.
The key principles of Torah conversion are found in the portion of Ruth chapter 1:
· When living in a remote area, a Jew may have to take a pious non-Jewess as a wife, because he still has the commandment to procreate.
· Conversion is implied by relationship as Orpah is called a wife although she returns to her own people.
· Naomi asks her daughter-in-laws to return to their own people, because she wishes them to be happy and have a future with a husband, impossible if they were Jewish.
· Declaration to ones loved one to follow them, to live with them, acceptance of their family as ones own, and to practice their religion, and to be buried amongst them.
· Acceptance of the convert.
Rural areas don't have the bet dins, orthodox synagogues, or any of the formal infrastructure for conversion. How do you suppose its available?
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Actually, this question should not even have to be asked. There are more Jews than we know about, because many are descendants of Jews who have lost their identity. Because of this, the whole issue should be cut from the "rules and laws" about marriage and Jewish identification. If we were more accepting and inclusive, there would be more Jews. We act as if this were a high class country club and we are being discriminatory. Period.
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