My daughter is living in NY for 3 years she works and is very happy, (works for very religious people) but she didnt get married yet. What should I do?
It's good that your daughter is working for religious people and is happy. Has she approached her employers about keeping an eye out for her for a proper shidduch?
A few more suggestions:
- A buzzword in the financial world: networking. Consider your daughter a highly desirable commodity. Network with people you know. Tell your rabbi, members of your synagogue, co-workers, family and friends that she wants to get married. Maybe they know a cousin, a friend, a neighbor, a business contact to whom they can introduce her. Ask them to keep their eyes and ears open for any eligible prospects. Practically speaking -encourage her to look her best before she goes out on a date. Stress to her the importance of being pleasant and friendly even if she feels the man is not for her. You never know – he might have a friend…
- Part of marketing: there are a number of matchmaking websites out there that are reliable, and that have produced many matches. I can recommend Mitmazel.com, sawyouatsinai.com, and frumster.com. Check them out. Your daughter has nothing to lose, and a partner to gain.
- On the spiritual side: a couple of mitzvot can’t hurt. Specifically, charity to help poor brides get married – either here or in Israel. If there’s no organization of the kind in your community, I can recommend Ten Yad (www.tenyad.org) in New York. They really do wonderful work, and they do it sensitively and graciously.
- The Mincha – afternoon – prayer is especially associated with finding a match. Daven Mincha for your daughter, and let her do it herself as often as possible (only once a day, please). If you are the mother, the most propitious time for prayers is when you light the Shabbat candles. Make sure to light eighteen minutes before sunset and to put at least a few coins in a charity box before lighting. Then, once you’ve lit, say a prayer from your heart for your daughter.
- It never hurts to get some saintly intervention. It is an ancient Jewish custom to ask tzaddikim – holy men – (both living and those who have passed on) for a blessing. You or your daughter can ask a blessing of the Lubavitcher Rebbe, OBM, by either faxing or emailing the office at the Ohel (the Rebbe's resting place): fax number -(718) 723-4444; email address - email@example.com. Any letter that you send will be read on your behalf there, and there is no charge for the service. Of course, if you are near the New York tri-state area, you can visit the Ohel yourself. All the info you need is at www.chabad.org/ohel.
Good luck, and may we hear good news soon.
Chaya Sarah Silberberg