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Can a homosexual be Jewish without losing his or her identity?



Question:

I am active in a Jewish student's organization at my college. Lately, several of my fellow students are dealing with whether or not to even remain Jewish because they are homosexuals and feel very rejected by the Jewish faith.

I was wondering what exactly does the Torah say and suggest. How can a homosexual continue to be Jewish and not lose his or her identity?

Answer:

I understand your dilemma; in your desire to approach all Jews with acceptance, you are faced with the question of how to help someone who is Jewish, but not following, necessarily, in the precepts of Judaism.

First, let's talk to the issue of identity. Each one of us wears many faces; each one of us is multifaceted. And one can, no doubt, list adjective after adjective to describe either oneself or someone else. American, vegetarian, skier, intellectual, blue-eyed, tone-deaf, farmer, narcissistic, teacher, morose, healer, nimble, sympathetic, runner, generous, noble...endless, endless adjectives. Do any one of them an identity define? And if I say I'm heterosexual, is that an identity?

So the thing is this: identity is fixed. I am my parent's daughter. I am my children's mother. I am my siblings' sister. I am Jewish. These define me in absolute terms, and these have nothing to do with how I feel about it.

A Jew is a Jew is a Jew. It does not depend on feelings or desires or life-partner choices. It simply is so.

In your position as a Jewish student leader, you must make every effort to see that every single Jewish man and woman whom you encounter understands that every single one of them is entitled to a Jewish environment, to be involved in Jewish life, to be involved in the behaviors of Jews. Period.

Every Jew is entitled to Shabbat. No Jew should ever be encouraged to deny her/himself the authenticity of Shabbat—even if that particular Jewish man or woman is not Shabbat observant.

Bronya Shaffer for Chabad.org


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By Bronya Shaffer   More articles...  |   RSS Listing of Newest Articles by this Author
Mrs. Bronya Shaffer is a noted globetrotting lecturer on Jewish women's issues, and serves as a personal counselor and mentor for women, couples and adolescents. Mrs. Shaffer, a responder for Chabad.org’s Ask the Rabbi service, lives with her ten children in Crown Heights, Brooklyn.
All names of persons and locations or other identifying features referenced in these questions have been omitted or changed to preserve the anonymity of the questioners.

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Reader Comments
Latest Comments:
Posted: Sep 14, 2009
What Does the Torah say?
You were born that way is a lie from the advesary. I've done a small amount research on homosexuality and science states it isn't a healthy lifestyle. The average homosexual has 1500 partners in his lifetime with numerous diseases and afflictions both physical & mental. G-d's eternal principles never change what was wrong then is wrong now. Love the person not the behavior. I could be a pedophile and say G-d made me like that...it would be another lie. It's not prejudice to hate depraved behavior no matter what the secular world is saying.
Posted By Anonymous, Baltimore, MD

Posted: Aug 16, 2009
Just when...
did you decide to prefer one gender over another? Oh me oh my, you tell me that you didn't? It just happened? You suddenly decided that boys DIDN'T have cooties? You decided that it was okay to be with a girl?
So you are a neonatal expert? You just THINK what was natural for you is NOT natural for those you call homosexuals.
Please stop being bigots and stop hating others because you think that is what G-d wants you to do. G-d tell us what to do and that is love each other. Now go Google when the human brain changes to orient it towards homo or hetero sexual orientation. Guess what, it isn't AFTER birth; it's BEFORE birth.
Posted By Beverly Kurtin, Ph.D., Hurst, TX

Posted: Aug 16, 2009
Reorientation versus the Heart of Torah
I don't believe there is condemnation for not being able to follow all of G-d's precepts. With Torah, most of us get in our boat and paddle with or against the tide to do our best. Reorientation is much the same. The odds may be against you, but hypnosis is very powerful in changing people's behavior. Hypnosis can help people quit very addictive behaviors like smoking cigarettes. What's wrong with a person getting in their boat and paddling against the tide of improper sexual urges? Sure, failure is a high probability. Sure, by accident we might forget Shabbat or to say the Shema twice a day everyday. However, I don't believe this is a good reason to give up trying. Trying to be heterosexual is good, and mercy for failure is appropriate. I don't believe G-d calls us to impossible tasks. My other post indicated the concept that it is possible. Strong belief in this, or hope helps.
Posted By Craig Hamilton, Sandwich



 


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