Here's a great tip:
Enter your email address and we'll send you our weekly magazine by email with fresh, exciting and thoughtful content that will enrich your inbox and your life, week after week. And it's free.
Oh, and don't forget to like our facebook page too!
Printed from
Contact Us
Visit us on Facebook

Do Homosexuals Fit into the Jewish Community?

Do Homosexuals Fit into the Jewish Community?



According to Jewish law, how should a person react to homosexual feelings? Do homosexuals fit into the Jewish community?


You ask about feelings and law. But feelings do not fall within the domain of law. A person feels what a person feels. Then he has the power to decide whether he will act upon those feelings or… not. This is the human experience: desire, longing, wanting…and the law. Part of our development from childhood to adulthood is creating for ourselves a moral compass. Something that's internal. That which tells us right from wrong. And that moral compass is comprised of myriad components, but must be firmly grounded, always, in a system of values.

For Jews, the all-encompassing system is Torah law. Torah law governs every single part of living. And from the body of Torah law emerges a system of values - general, societal and personal. Sometimes, it's easy; we feel an affinity, for example, to the laws of tzedaka, or we feel a strong connection to the laws of Shabbat or brit milah. And sometimes, we feel something quite the opposite - we feel estranged or disconnected or personally deeply at odds with a law.

We feel what we feel. Some feelings we can change, and some we can't. Sometimes what we feel is subject to modification, and sometimes it's not. Totally and unequivocally not. And yet, the law is absolute.

As much as we know about human sexuality, we don't yet know enough. We're all, as individuals and as a society, still learning. In the last half century, we've come a long way in our understanding of human sexuality, and in redefining a cultural moral code. Some of what we've come to accept as a society is long, long overdue. And some of what we've come to accept undermines the very dignity of human sexuality. But, we're learning.

We do know this, though: we know that among other sexual behaviours, Torah law expressly forbids the specific act of male homosexuality.

And we do know this: Torah law forbids bigotry; homophobia is prohibited.

And we do know this: too many Jewish girls and boys, Jewish women and men, have suffered too much for too long. And we know that most of that suffering is caused by the environment around them. We do know this: when we become judges of another person, we behave contrary to Torah law.

And we do know this: A Jew belongs in a Jewish environment. Each of us, struggling or not, needs to be in a truly Torah-observant environment. And each of us is responsible for that environment - each of us is responsible for what we bring to that environment. When we bring ignorance, or cruelty or self-righteous judgment of others, we contribute to the sullying of a true Torah environment. When we bring the most ideal principles of ahavat Yisrael, respect for every individual, recognition of each individual's personal relationship with G‑d...when we bring the best of our humanity, as expected by Torah ideals, we contribute to a Torah environment that is healthy and wholesome.

Or perhaps your question is in regard to how we should react to the homosexual feelings of others? Or how we should react to someone who eats on Yom Kippur? Or someone who longs for the relationship with a man other than her husband? On this, the classic work known as the Tanya provides strong advice: Consider what it means to have such burning passions for forbidden fruit. Consider the day to day fierce and relentless battle demanded to conquer such passions. And then ask yourself, "Do I ever fight such a battle on my own ground?"

The Tanya continues to illustrate the many areas in which all of us can improve by waging at least a small battle on our own ground.

On your question concerning community: A Jew belongs within a Jewish community. There are no application forms and no qualification requirements. He's Jewish—that's where he belongs. Period. We all have our challenges, our shortcomings, our feelings...and our failures in battle as well...and with all that, we are a community of Jews.

Mrs. Bronya Shaffer is a noted globetrotting lecturer on Jewish women's issues, and serves as a personal counselor and mentor for women, couples and adolescents. Mrs. Shaffer, a responder for’s Ask the Rabbi service, lives with her ten children in Crown Heights, Brooklyn.
© Copyright, all rights reserved. If you enjoyed this article, we encourage you to distribute it further, provided that you comply with's copyright policy.
Join the discussion
1000 characters remaining
Email me when new comments are posted.
Sort By:
Discussion (156)
February 25, 2016
Re:Defining the prohibtion
For a detailed discussion on the issues involved I would suggest reading Judaism and Homosexuality: An Authentic Orthodox View by Rabbi Chaim Rapoport
Yehuda Shurpin for
February 17, 2016
Regulations on conduct still are not prohibitions of all conduct
Dear Mr. Shurpin,

The issue is not whether there is a prohibition of tendencies but whether there is a prohibition on all sexual activity between men. There is only the regulation how to do it.

The Torah does not say, "everything which is not expressly approved is forbidden." One may not infer from a regulation about when a married man and woman may not have sex to mean that they may never have sex. Under rules of judicial interpretation, the specific does not include the general. 'Do not run with scissers" does not include "Do not run."

Those who attempt to convert the regulation into a prohibition of all sex between men are excluding the words which we usually translate as "like a woman." "Do not have milk within 1/2 hour after having meat" may not be changed to "Do not have milk."

Also, I object to reinterpretations of the Torah so as to conform to Christian concepts. It is especially unwarranted when the result creates a division within the Jewish people.
Rick Abrams
Bev Hills
February 16, 2016
Concerning the Branches of the Menorah
we all come from the same place, and we are all oriented toward the same goal. Our differences are only in order to better express our Source and to more completely achieve our goal. Which makes them not differences, but the ultimate expression of Oneness.

(The Lubavitcher Rebbe)
Bruce Bierman
February 16, 2016
Re: No Prohibition of being Gay
Of course you'r right. As the article explains, there’s no prohibition against having homosexual tendencies only acting upon them. Furthermore, it is also true that only certain acts can potentially result in capital punishment (with proper witnesses and warning). That however does not mean that the other acts are permitted.
As a side point, a court has the authority to issue a decree and forbid something which is permitted and have its decree perpetuated for generations to come. Similarly, it has the authority - as a temporary measure - to release the Torah's prohibitions. What then is the meaning of the Scriptural prohibitions Deuteronomy 13:1: "Do not add to it and do not detract from it"?

The intent is that they do not have the authority to add to the words of the Torah or to detract from them, establishing a matter forever as part of Scriptural Law. This applies both to the Written Law and the Oral Law.
Yehuda Shurpin for
February 12, 2016
No Prohibition of being Gay
Dear Alex,

Nowhere does the Torah forbid all sex between two men. We see one regulation on the type sex which two men may have with each other. Those, who believe that each word is a direction expression of G-d's intention, may not subtract or add a single letter.

Those who wish to expand one regulation, which forbids men acting like women when having sex with another man, may not expand that verse into a prohibition as to all types of sex between men.

The rabbis, whom I have heard discuss the regulation as if it were a prohibition on all Gay sex, show a huge ignorance of the wide range of sexual activities in which Gay men engage. Many know of only one or two types of sexual activity. It is as if someone came to a rabbi and said, "I have some food concealed in this basket. Is it tref?" May the rabbi use the regulation on shell fish to outlaw an apple -- based upon his not knowing what activity or what food is involved?
Rick Abrams
Bev Hills
February 11, 2016
selfish vs selfless
A true Jew is all about sacrificing one's life for the sake of the other; a kingdom of priests, selfless in every way, our brother's keeper. In the case of homosexuality, I agree that we all have our inclinations to do what G-d, by way of Torah, says we should not do. The same applies for divorce or adultery or murder, etc. I do not believe that h-sexuality is any worse than any of the aforementioned trespasses. However, when we commit any of these sinful acts, we take the path of self and reject the path of selflessness. As an adulterer, we selfishly seek our needs over the needs and desires of our spouse and kid. As a murderer, our need for revenge and/or anger supersedes the mercy we are called upon to show our offender. When we act on our gay inclination, we allow our desires to defile the temple that was created in the image of God and sacrifice the kids we should have had, And in gay marriage, we deny our kids the male and female exposure shown to us for the sake of our own desires.
Rio Hondo
February 7, 2016
Gay Converts
A rebbe with an inflated sense of self-importance? Shirley, you jest. I know, "don't call you Shirley."

You are so right on everything you say. Those on the far right tend to justify their behavior by saying that theya re preserving the Jewish People. When I was young, I believed that. Now, I know that they are in fact christianizing much of Jewish life by adopting the christian archetype into their basic psychology that their Faith -- which is contrary to reason, logic and science -- is The Truth.
Rick Abrams
Bev Hills
February 2, 2016
Acceptance and Understanding...
I admire the point of view in this article, even if I don't agree with all of it. The world in which we live would certainly be improved if prohibitions against bigotry and proud judgement were held in at least as high regard as those against male-male anal sex, particularly considering the first concern is of a law about which one individually would need to adhere and the second concern is of a law about which someone else would need to adhere. Stigma and judgement are seeping diseases, and if indeed the consensus within the Orthodox communities is that Jews deserve to be in Jewish communities, this rampant haughtiness and exclusion needs to be significantly curtailed. The world in which we live makes up the truth, and when we are willing to address it, and understand it, and honestly speak of it and in it, rather than avoiding it, then we read the parchment of our reality, the code of truth. Listen to people and do not fear them and you may see the Torah saying something new to you
Chicago, IL
January 25, 2016
Hashem loves me and I love myself enough to be myself
I'm a Reform Jew and I'm gay. Just as I've made the choice to have Hatafat Dam Brit in order to fully accept and immerse and include myself in the traditions of the Jews, I've chosen to live how I feel Hashem created me... to love and be loved... and to be intimate... even if it's with another male. It may be written that if man lay with another man as with a woman then it's an abomination. I accept whatever Hashem feels I deserve as a result of my actions, but I feel in my heart that he loves me and will not hold it against me. It's a personal call.
December 16, 2015
Yes, but then what about the Jewish convert? There seems to be a great divide between what is damning to one born to a "Jewish mother" and someone seeking to be of Jewish faith. If a potential convert has a Jewish spark or soul and always has had such than why is there such a restriction on whom we will and can "accept"? A homosexual Jew is to be treated lovingly simply because of the status of birth yet a potential convert is damned by anything and everything. Isn't it a form of unjustified discrimination when we actively turn away homosexual converts for not meeting our "guidelines" well enough? If we truly believe the g-d's will and involvement in all creation reigns unobstructed than how can we turn away those who seek him? Are they not doing so according to g-d's will? If a convert has never really converted because they always retained a Jewish soul than why are there hoops to jump through at all? It seems that the Jewish community and rebbe have an inflated sense of importance.
Boise, Id