Question:
In less than a month I'm going to get married to the most wonderful man G‑d could bless me with. For the past week I have been getting attacked with doubts. Is this normal?
Answer:
First of all Mazel tov! May your wedding take place at an auspicious time, and may you build "a faithful home in Israel, an eternal edifice built on the foundation of Torah and mitzvot."
Pre-wedding jitters are absolutely and totally normal. After all, you're committing yourself, body and soul, to another person. You are becoming vulnerable. And with this person you will establish a home and create a new generation to continue in our traditions and beliefs—awesome and scary thoughts!
So I wouldn't be worried about general jitters.
However, I would be worried if these jitters are based on specific problems or issues. For instance, if you've started noticing that your fiancé has a bad temper. Or he is trying to control every single aspect of the wedding, or your home. Or if nothing ever seems to be good enough for him. Or that he is very bad at handling stress. These are serious matters, and if your jitters are based on issues such as these, then you should speak to your rabbi, parents, or someone close to you who can view them objectively and advise you.
But if you're just succumbing to random nervousness—don't worry (ha ha) you're totally normal!
For more on this topic, see The Wedding Jitters and Will I be the next runaway bride?
I hope that you're studying the laws of Family Purity. A commitment to observe these laws faithfully is one of the best guarantors for a happy and successful marriage…
And don't forget to check out our Wedding and Marriage section, you will find there a wealth of useful information and tips.
Again, Mazel tov and best wishes.
Chaya Sarah Silberberg,
Chabad.org
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