Stillborn Birth

Question:

Recently I gave birth to a stillborn baby. Did my baby go to heaven? Did he even have a soul? Why did this happen?

Answer:

I'm so sorry to hear about the passing of your baby. Losing a child is heart-wrenching. I wish there was something I could do to lessen your pain

You ask if your baby had a soul. Yes, the baby did. And yes, the soul has gone to heaven, completely pure, free of any sins or blemishes it potentially could have amassed while living in this world.

Why did it happen? We may not be able to answer that question from our perspective here in this world. For the most part we really don't understand the purpose of pain or suffering.

We do know, however, that there is a purpose to any event, and certainly an event as momentous as a soul coming down to this world.

Every soul that comes down to this world has a mission to accomplish. The soul of your baby didn't need to experience a long length of time in this world, but has accomplished whatever final rectification it needed in that short time within your womb.

There is a chassidic story which I would like to share with you in the hopes that it might offer you some comfort. A woman waited a very long time to have a child. Finally, with the blessings of her rebbe, she conceived. She and her husband were thrilled when their baby boy was born. They were even more thrilled to see how exceptional their child was, and how intelligent and advanced for his age. But when the child was two years old, he passed away, unexpectedly. The couple returned to their rebbe in absolute shock, terribly distraught.

He explained to them that their child was a beautiful and special neshamah that in its previous life was completely holy and had accomplished great things. However, it had been born to a non-Jewish mother, and for the first two years of its life, it had nursed non-kosher milk. The soul needed to return to this world, just for a period of two years, to be nursed by a woman who kept kosher. While the couple still missed their child terribly, they now felt somewhat comforted. Read The Reincarnated Prince for the complete story.

We see only what is before us. Why was your baby here for such a short time? I really do not know. But perhaps its pure soul needed only to inhabit your womb, yours in particular, in order to achieve just what it needed to complete its mission in the world.

You might also find some of the articles in our Fertility Problems & Loss section helpful. Here is one I recommend: What Happens to My Miscarried Child's Soul?

May you only experience happy events in the future.

Chana Weisberg for Chabad.org