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Chabad.org » Ask the Rabbi » Latest Questions » Advice » How do I deal with the synagogue nudnik?


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How do I deal with the synagogue nudnik?



Question:

One of the guys who attends my local synagogue is a nag, who is constantly criticizing everyone, at every moment, every day. Hey, he even critiques the rabbi! I have had as much of him as I can stand, and in fact, I have actually told him this already. I refuse to be a doormat for this guy and I fear that I may boil over and yell at him. Any advice?

Answer:

I understand how absurd this guy is being, but I don't see why it has to bother you to such an extreme. Because someone else has a headache, you need to take an aspirin? This is his problem, not yours.

Pray for him that he will grow up and become a mentsch. Pity his soul. Put a few coins in the tzedakah box and ask the One Above to have mercy on the poor guy. Those things can all help. Acid indigestion cannot.

As for the other people he criticizes, you can advise them to do the same.

Rabbi Tzvi Freeman for Chabad.org


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By Tzvi Freeman   More articles...  |   RSS Listing of Newest Articles by this Author
Rabbi Tzvi Freeman heads Chabad.org's Ask The Rabbi team, and is a senior member of the Chabad.org editorial team. He is the author of a number of highly original renditions of Kabbalah and Chassidic teaching, including the universally acclaimed "Bringing Heaven Down to Earth." To order Tzvi's books click here. Rabbi Freeman is available for public speaking and workshops. Read more on his bio page.
All names of persons and locations or other identifying features referenced in these questions have been omitted or changed to preserve the anonymity of the questioners.

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Reader Comments
Latest Comments:
Posted: Feb 7, 2008
The Baal Shem Tov says that all these situations during prayer are there by Divide Providence and are meant to reavel deeper strength in the person while he or she are praying. This, indeed, must come to enhance his/her Divine service
Posted By Ari

Posted: Dec 6, 2007
Look on the bright side, Rabbi.
If someone critiques the rabbi, he must be listening to the rabbi.

I'm sure you have had guests at your Chabad house who are as pleasant as pleasant can be, and-

altogether indifferent.

Some other guests listen, find that they care deeply, and then find themselves nagging and criticizing (before they can catch themselves).

To produce a reaction like that, Rabbi, means that you have 'touched a nerve' deep within their neshomas.

You wouldn't really be doing your job otherwise.

Keep up the good work, and yasher koach.
Posted By Thomas Karp, New Haven, Ct.



 


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