The Best Kept Secret in the World

Life, as we all know, is a series of blunders. We never, never ever, get it right the first time.

Is it supposed to be this way? Obviously not. Why not? Well, if something is a blunder, then, by definition, it's something that should not have happened. But never mind semantics -- let's talk gut feeling. I trust my intuition more than any syllogism. Well, every time I begin to see another of my life's blunders developing, every filament in my gut screams: "Noooo! This should not be happening...!"

And yet, strip life of all its false starts, of all its wrong turns, missed opportunities, naive presumptions, fumbling first attempts and learned-it-the hard-way experiences, and what's left? Nothing worth writing home about, never mind going through all that trouble to live a life for.

Okay, then, let's say we put intuition and gut feeling aside and say that blunders are supposed to happen, as part of G‑d's grand plan to make life worthwhile. But if that's the case, we're back in the bland and meaningless space of a pre-programmed life that's not worth going through all that trouble for. Besides, how could my blunders be things that G‑d wanted all along to happen, if many, most, (all?) of them result from actions which G‑d specifically told me He doesn't want to happen?

That's the crazy thing about blunders. Without them, there's nothing. Yet if there's one thing we can about them say with absolute conviction, it's that they're not supposed happen. How can something not supposed to be and supposed to be at the same time?

G‑d knows, but He's not telling.