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Chabad.org » Inspiration & Entertainment » Daily Dose of Wisdom » Seasonal Meditations » Yom Kippur Meditations » Self-Pity








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Self-Pity


Based on letters and talks of the Rebbe, Rabbi M. M. Schneerson

Self-pity is nothing less than an impulse to destroy yourself. And this is its script:

"This is the way you were made. These are the facts of your situation. It's bad. Worse than anybody else in the whole world. In fact, it's so bad, it's impossible to do anything about it. And therefore, you are free from any responsibility to clean it up. Nobody can blame you for anything."

Self-pity is a liar and a thief. A liar, because everyone is granted the power to clean up his own mess, if only he will try. A thief, because as long as it sits inside you, it is stealing away the days of your life.
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Based on letters and talks of the Rebbe, Rabbi M. M. Schneerson   More articles...  |   RSS Listing of Newest Articles by this Author

From the wisdom of the Lubavitcher Rebbe, of righteous memory; words and condensation by Rabbi Tzvi Freeman. To order Rabbi Freeman’s book, Bringing Heaven Down to Earth, click here.

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Latest Comments:
Posted: Oct 5, 2011
Carmen Oct. 5, 2011
Some of the words underlying self-pity are:
post traumatic stress syndrome, parental abuse, bullying, lack of friendship, any type of nonacceptance, physical appearance, hypersensitivity, low financial status, low social status, alcoholism, anorexia, etc. All in no particular order.

Silence is the last on any list. That's the deadly one.

Once again i am using a context opposite to the article to keep the many other forms of self-pity front and centre.
Posted By Anonymous, w

Posted: Oct 5, 2011
Anonymous, ma, mA
I will attempt an answer:

Some of the words opposite to self pity are:faith,courage,struggle and resignation.In this succession.
Posted By Carmen

Posted: Oct 5, 2011
The Irish
The culture of the Irish is based on self-pity. They share their stories in pubs all over Ireland. The one who is most devastated gets to talk the longest.

Ireland is so far in debt there is no way they can get out of it. But declare bankruptcy ? Never. They prefer self-pity. It goes back for centuries. It's a cultural thing.

It is so weird. My apologies if it does not fit this topic. I guess that if i was a Jew living in Ireland, it could be a good heads up.
Posted By Anonymous

Posted: Oct 5, 2011
Is self-pity necessarily ego ?
"Self-pity is nothing less than an impulse to destroy yourself. " A cold uneducated society forces the pain of it to be bottled up and chokes off a cry for help.

" This is the way you were made ". You are beautiful, have a loving family and friends.

" It's bad. Worse than anybody else in the whole world .. you cannot do anything about it." You are forced to think that nobody wants to hear your pain. Be strong, suffer in silence. In Canada you can be 1 out of the 4 that commits suicide daily.

" Self-pity is a liar and a thief ". It lies about your ability to reach out for help. It robs your life and devastates the lives of those who love you, and sorrowful to have missed possible signs.

I have twisted the words of this Daily Dose. It is out of date.The issue of mental illness cannot be overlooked. A misjudgment can be deadly.

Avinu Malkeinu, Our Father, Our King, remove from us all harsh decrees. Especially this one about self-pity which is polluted with insensitivity.
Posted By Anonymous, w

Posted: Oct 4, 2011
Alternative
Here is an idea, something I thought of for the last poster. An alternative could be inquisitive.
Posted By Anonymous, Austin, Tx

Posted: Oct 4, 2011
self pity
What is to have self pity versus to have an alternative to handle a bad situation well? What is word for the alternative? What is a way to be that is the opposite of self pity?
Posted By Anonymous, ma, mA

Posted: Oct 4, 2011
Self Pity
I could talk much longer, but couldn't say more! Thank you!
Posted By Ron Faulk, Leesburg, Fl.

Posted: Oct 4, 2011
Thief!
Thief refers also to those business men who treat their employees in a greedy way and those bank owners who by hidden agreement take the loan by usury.
Posted By Anonymous, Rzeszow, Poland

Posted: Sep 23, 2009
Self Pity continued
You have to take each day as it comes and that isn't easy. I still have real problems with it. A woman I know told me of her aunt who survived the camps and then was run down by a cab in Paris as an older woman and felt G-d had it out for her. I feel the same, at times. Especially this year, really. I have had so many therapies that haven't worked that I am crying right now. But, as your mom probably said - what does that help? I got to see my niece marry under a chuppah two weeks ago and my daughter got an invite to interview at Wash U Med School. Life can be good. Eat a tomato. Play with the dogs. Kiss your spouse and if you are so lucky, your children and your parents. Listen to the shofar and hold your breath through Teruah Gadol. Look up at the night sky. Do someone a good deed. Call up an old person or someone in a hospital. Extend some love and you will know love. Isn't that better than pity?
Posted By Belle, Shelbyville

Posted: Sep 23, 2009
Self Pity
Dear anonymous who wants to know about "cancer". well, how about being run into by an emergency vehicle because that was what happened to me last year!. And I am a survivor of childhood polio! When I was run over I was in the middle of the street, in the pedestrian walkway, on the green light,and the associate fire chief driving the vehicle that hit me was not going to an emergency - he was going to lunch. He hit me so hard that I was flung into the air and landed on my back. I don't remeber any of these events. I had earlier befriended a woman who has acted as an eyewitness for me. I have a number of physical problems plus brain injuries. My measured IQ is much much lower, which is a real blow to me. I cannot read well or do hobbies that I enjoyed. What do I have is my very loving and supportive family and synagogue family. A number of aquaintances have extended loving gestures. I have had group blessings from Amish ladies. My doctors and therapists are trying to help .
Posted By Belle, Shelbyville



 


Yom Kippur Meditations
G-d's Fishing Net
Dance with the Other
Self-Pity
Time Machine
The Fair Maiden's Hero
Progressive Failure
Kosher Yearnings
Bouncing Up
Delights
Our Voice
Even Better
Time Travel

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