Question:
I've tried my hand at matchmaking, but so far I've been a
dismal failure. I set up five couples, and none of them worked out. Most of them said I wasn't even close. Yet I thought each time that they were
perfect matches. I have a friend who has made seven successful matches - and
she didn't really know the people that well at all. Am I missing something?
Is there a secret to matchmaking that I don't know about?
Answer:
The human soul is like the flame of a candle. Every soul has a presence,
a light that fills the room. Each one of us has our own flame, with a hue
that is uniquely ours.
When two people come together, just as when two candles come together,
the room is now filled not with two lights, but one. Their respective auras
combine to create a new light that is more than the sum of the two of them.
I am me, and you are you, but when we come together we create a we that is
not just you plus me--it has a light and aura of its own.
This is why it is hard to guess how two people will get on together. You
may know each individually, but you don't know that third element--the new
light that arrives when the two are together. We may think two people would
be perfect for each other, yet when they meet there is no energy between
them. They may have bright candles individually, they just don't merge
together well. Similarly, we often look at a couple and think, "I would
never have put them together", yet they are obviously well suited. While
their individual candles may seem different, together their flames create a
beautiful light.
A matchmaker can't determine whether there will be chemistry between two
people. Your job is not to attempt to match souls; it is to try and match
people with similar values. A similar taste in music or a common interest in
frogs will not make a relationship last a lifetime; common attitudes to
family, marriage, G-d and life will. If you know two people whose
priorities and beliefs are basically the same, even if they seem such
different characters, set them up to meet. The rest they can discover for
themselves.
Every new couple is a new source of light for the world. Even if you
haven't been successful, don't give up making matches. Who knows, maybe one
day you'll light the right flame...
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