255. Your Father and Your Mother

A parent is violent with their child because the parent is psychologically ill, not the child, but the child might become psychologically ill as result of the abuse if they do not get proper intervention, so I would seriously recommend seeking guidance from a qualified professional.

The best thing that you can do with what you experienced is learn what not to do. Don't be like your parent. Don't copy their behavior patterns. Don't treat people that way, because you know it's wrong. Treat people the way you wanted to be treated. People tend to copy each other, so if you treat others well then usually they will treat you well too.

The hardest things we experience in life, are often the things which help us grow the most too. Painful experiences help us to grow.

My mother was violent and abusive....does this mean that I too am a bad person? Did I deserve to be abused as a child? Did I deserve to be put into foster care??

I had a teacher who, in his younger days, committed some horrendously horrible crimes during a war. He was young, susceptible, and influenced by the worst aspects of mass psychology. He studied the effects of mass psychology after the war was over, and went onto teach about the subject, to educate the next generation, so that we didn't repeat the same mistakes he and his comrades made. He has become quite well known in his field, and actually helped me to comprehend the way it works, so I was able to avoid the mistakes he made, and point out the pitfalls to others before they repeated his mistakes.

James, I think that Rabbi Freeman (via the Rebbe) is telling us that no matter what we have done or endured in life our essence is still pure, and we can still (always) regain the purity of 'pre-creation' no matter what we have endured since 'entering' the physical realm. No matter who we are, no matter what we have seen or done, we can regain the absolute perfect purity of our "pre-creation." I.E. No matter how hard you've been hit, or no matter how badly you've messed up, you can still choose to rebecome Edenic purity and bliss. You can always be redeemed, no matter what, and no matter what, so long as you choose to be the redemption, you will be redeemed. He is telling us that there is always hope, and the hope exists simply because you are choosing to be your own hope.

I love this new format. It is easy to read. Thank you.

So, Rabbi, you what we "get" from each not what we "learn".

It applies only to Jews. Christians "get" an identity as a Russian or a German from the father. And they get no priestly identity from either parent. They must "get" that from the seminary.

Yes, American Indians "get" a tribal identity from the mother, as Jews do. But an identity as a shahman depends on a personal spiritual relationship to Gd.

The statements you have made about mothers and fathers apply uniquely to Jews and can only be understood in that context, which needs to be stated up front.

The distress of some comments on fathers who beat mothers, or of fathers or mothers on drugs or alcohol or etc., can, sadly, apply among Jews as well.

SO--Why claim anything about "learning" different things from Ma and Pa? Does the fact that we get Jewishness from Ma and priesthood from Pa carry ANY spiritual meaning, even among Jews? If so, what?

just the opposite for me.
hmph. wonder what that means?

Perhaps the Rebbe had very ideal parents. But my Father beat my Mother and My Mother is a drug addict. I will copy their good qualities: their awareness of social and environmental issues, but I will not copy their bad qualities. No one will ever hit me, and I will never smoke a cigarette, or anything else.