Got Minyan?

To say the Kaddish, there must be ten male Jews, age 13 and up in the room. They all have to be in the same room, not out in the hallway or hiding in the closet. It's best if they are all awake, but if one of them just won't wake up, you can still count him. If you start the Kaddish and someone leaves, someone should try to get him back. If he's totally lost, finish the Kaddish without him.

How To Count To Ten, Real Fast:

We don't count Jews. We have historical evidence that it's not a good idea (King David counted the Jews in his kingdom and a plague ensued). Instead, people use a verse of the Psalms that has ten words and then check to see if there's one Jew in the room for each of the words. Here's the standard verse:

[Hosheah Es Amecha, Uvarech Es Nachlosecha, Uriem Vna'asem Ad Oilom]

Here's a neat alternative: Visualize the people in the room in three groups of three. Then add the guy who's leading the prayers at the front. (3 x 3) + 1…you get the idea.