Dealing with Difficulty - Learning & Values

Question:

I find myself in a very difficult situation. Will I be able to overcome my problems?

Answer:

You haven't told me what the troubles are and I respect your wish to keep that to yourself. Working in the dark, all I can give you then is the counsel that our sages gave long ago--and since they are sages of Torah, their advice stands for every situation for every person.

The sages of the Mishnah taught us that "according to the camel is the load." G‑d knows His camels--He made them and He leads them through life. He knows just how much each one can take and He doesn't load any one up with anymore than he can handle

These are not problems you are having. These are loads. A camel driver loads his camel because something needs to be done with that load. The same with you--you are put in this world to accomplish certain missions and you are given exactly the load that your soul is meant to handle, no less and no more.

There is one difference, however: When the camel driver loads the camel, his interest is in the merchandise, not the camel. G‑d's principal interest is in your soul. In this way, the load he gives you is more like the weights a fitness coach might wrap on your wrists and ankles--not to slow you down, but on the contrary, to make you stronger and faster.

So too, think of G‑d as your personal trainer and these "problems" as the hurdles He is putting you through, only in order that you can go higher and higher, to a level to which you could never have imagined yourself.

Rabbi Tzvi Freeman for Chabad.org

By Tzvi Freeman

Rabbi Tzvi Freeman, a senior editor at Chabad.org, also heads our Ask The Rabbi team. He is the author of Bringing Heaven Down to Earth. To subscribe to regular updates of Rabbi Freeman's writing, visit Freeman Files subscription.

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November 8, 2012

Thanks

Dear Tzvi , I love your thoughts. You are wonderful. You are really doing your job for the Lord in the best manner. May He bless you and your future with the best.

Ariel Rudd
Windhoek, Namibia
chabadwestern.org

June 4, 2009

Who knows who can handle what?

Look--I try hard to believe I really, really, REALLY do. I want to believe and have faith in G-d (which ought to make belief easier, oughtn't it?), but I've seen too many camels with broken backs lying alongside the road asking to be shot. I want to believe that there are no coincidencesand all, but whay is it that some camels collapse under their (properly apportioned, if it is said), and other do not?

Anonymous
Kew Gardens, NY

October 22, 2008

dealing with difficulty

Very true indeed. I am truly enriched by the answer to dealing with difficulty.

Anonymous
Nairobi, Kenya

April 5, 2008

Well Said -

I love reading your "Question and Answer" segments.
You write so eloquently and I find more often than not, I can relate to others questions and challenges. Your answers are always beautifully written with care and concern, i am sure everyone can benefit somehow.

I look forward to your future articles...
Shavua Tov -

Duby
Morristown , NJ

April 4, 2008

more than we can handle?

Rabbi, you gave a great answer but add this. As a former addict I needed to learn gratefulness. I just had an infection which could have cost me my finger and possibly my hand. Thank G-d it didn't. It is healing, but I now have more bills to pay, Lost 2 weeks of work, and instead of being ahead or on target I'm behind again. Will I ever catch up? What's the diff. I'm alive, and looking to the future, not the past! I'm here and that’s what counts. We are here to accomplish something, though we rarely truly know what that something is. I had a bad day at work. So what! I just read a book on happiness. Think positive and think ahead. I’m sick of the negative. Bad things happening. See Rabbi Twerski. Any "authority", Just get help and move forward. Pray! Be happy. You are here.
Ending it or escaping solves nothing, It usually makes things worse. Thank G-d for all the people who cared enough to help me get out of a bad mentality, to look to G-d for help, and to get on with my life!

Norman Siller
Kiss, Fl

April 4, 2008

For Sheldon

"If this is true; that G-d only puts loads on us that we can handle; then why do people kill themselves? "

Perhaps because not everyone believes this to be true.
As I wrote above, we all still have free choice.

Tzvi Freeman
Thornhill, Ontario

April 4, 2008

Dealing with Difficulty

If this is true; that G-d only puts loads on us that we can handle; then why do people kill themselves?

Sheldon
Toronot, Canada

April 4, 2008

Camel's loads

I thought the way you addressed life's problems was very insightful. The idea that our difficulties are not "problems" but "loads" tha G-d needs someone to carry and that by carrying them we actually grow stronger.

Anonymous
Ruston

April 3, 2008

This is a difficult concept for some people

I understand the basic concept, however, i'd like to share something I read about G-d not giving us more than we can handle. The "characters"in this story were Christians, but I'm sure, it's applicable to Jews and any other faith. A woman was talking to her minister about the death of her young child of leukemia. She asked why this had happened to such a young child. Her minister told her that G-d wouldn't give her anything that she wasn't strong enough to deal with. The woman's response was, "Maybe if I wasn't so strong, my child would still be alive." I have to tell you, I can empathize with that, how to you answer a woman who asks that question? Obviously, we don't know what the woman's problem is, but truly what do you say to someone like the woman in the story I related. If that were me, I can't help feeling that that answer doesn't help. I wouldn't presume to second guess G-d, but that answer doesn't help. G-d willing the woman who contacted you isn't facing the tragedy that I related, but with all due respect, that answer is a real problem.

Rachel Garber
Phila, PA USA

April 3, 2008

For Carole

We're not talking at all about after-the-fact judgement of others. We're talking about a person's attitude in the face of adversity. Should s/he say, "I'm a victim of a big bad world that's way to much for little me to handle!" or should s/he say, "It's G_d's world and everything comes from Him. If He's sending me this, I must have the capacity to handle it."?

Basically, it's called monotheism.

Tzvi Freeman
Thornhill, Ontario

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